Someone Like You
by Katarzyna Grace
Summary: Rose leaves behind her life, leaving behind the only thing she's ever known, to escape the pain and heartbreak of her reality. Will she ever be able to face her past and return to her supposed loved ones?
1. Words

**Ok so this is my first SongFic and yes, I'm fully aware that this type of thing has been done but this is my own version and for all of you **_**Switched**_** lovers, you know that I make it my own so give it a chance! Please R&R!**

**Four Words**

Four words. If someone would've asked me if four words could completely destroy my world just 365 days ago, I would've told them to fuck off and stop being ridiculous. How wrong I was.

I bit back tears, refusing to show my utter devastation and sheer horror as those four heart-wrenchingly awful words registered in my numb, shocked mind. From anyone else, those words might've come as a good thing, or even a joke, but from _him_, they were a nightmare turned reality. Those four words were the very thing that woke me up screaming at night. They were the four words that destroyed my higher reasoning, my common sense, and my will to live. They were the four words that would change my life drastically.

"**Love fades. Mine has."**

**Just a little preview of what's to come. R&R!**


	2. Shattered

**Ok so now here's the actual story. I hope all of you liked Four Words. R&R! The song is coming later in the story so be patient! I've got to build it all up! ;) Make sure to please R&R!**

**Shattered**

I studied his face, searching for any notion of a lie, any hint that would give me even the tiniest scrap of hope that he was deceiving me. His once friendly, chocolate brown eyes were stone cold and unforgiving and his face was unreadable. I could feel my entire body quivering as my eyes widened. He wasn't lying, at least not that I could tell.

I took a step back, desperately wishing this was all some cruel joke my subconscious was playing on me and that I'd wake up soon, preferably safe in Dimitri's arms. I pinched my arm for good measure. The fates were against me, I had no such luck. I could feel the dam of tears welling up in my eyes, threatening to spill at any moment. No. I refused to cry in front of him. Do _not_ let him see you weak and pathetic.

I shook my head in disbelief. I had never expected Dimitri to say something so painfully blunt. He could say that he couldn't feel love all he wanted and I'd never leave his side, but this, this was an entirely different level. This was a whole new area of pain and rejection. He was willing to forget our love, to let it shrivel up and die, to let it be carried off like dandelion seeds in a cool, summer's breeze. He was giving up on loving me, and was attempting to forget everything that had happened between us. No. This couldn't be happening. Not after everything I'd gone through to give us this chance.

The pain finally registered in my mind as my brain wrapped around the statement he had just made. An icy cold chill settled deep within me as I stood there. My heart twisted painfully once more before shattering into unfixable fragments. He must've have noticed my state because, as I studied him, I saw pain mixed with regret flash through his eyes. It was gone in a flash, however, and I wasn't going to stick around to see what he would say to break me even further. I spun on my heel, completely disregarding the fact that it was the middle of the service. Nothing mattered anymore, nothing at all. I ran out of the church, not even bothering to close the doors behind me, without so much as a backward glance.


	3. Venom

**Well I got some pretty awesome reviews! Thanks to everyone who reviewed! Also, this story won't just be a songfic for Someone Like You, it'll kind of have multiple songs featured, probably all Adele 21 and any other song I'm currently inspired by. I hope you like it! R&R!**

**Venom**

The dam broke as soon as I made it about thirty feet from the Church. I was sprinting as fast as I could across the grounds, dodging confused moroi and dhampirs along the way. I pushed myself even harder, pumping my legs with a burning ferocity as I let the hot, salty tears course down my cheeks and neck. I scrunched up my face as I replayed the scene once more in my already overrun mind.

_Love fades. Mine has. Love fades. Mine has. Love fades. Mine has. _They were like the anthem to my heartbreak, the summary of my once cherished relationship with him. Dimitri. The name that once made my cheeks flush and heart beat race, was like an icy dagger to the heart. It was a curse word to me, one that I would never repeat again if I could help it. Why was the world so devastatingly cruel?

I reached my room, slamming the key into the lock and flung the door open, letting it slam into the wall with a deafening crack. I couldn't even assess what emotion I was feeling. I could've picked various ones, but only one summed it up completely, heartbroken. At least, the Rose Hathaway heartbroken. I'd never truly experienced heartbreak before. Sure, I'd been devastated when Mason died, but I hadn't loved him. Mason dying was a different set of emotions, guilt, pain, and loss, but not heartbreak. When Dimitri was turned, I'd been heartbroken, but it hadn't felt this devastating. He never had the choice to leave me, now he was doing it of his own free will. It was the worst feeling I'd ever experienced, bar none.

I choked out another heart wrenching sob, crumpling to the ground as the door slowly swung closed, blocking out any eavesdroppers. I lost track of how long I sat there, hours, days, weeks, I couldn't tell, and honestly, I didn't give a shit. One thing and one thing only mattered to me. I refused to live without him. It was too painful to even consider continuing to breathe, walk, talk, eat, sleep, _live_ without him. I sat curled in the fetal position on my bed, slipping in and out of consciousness. I glanced at my clock, it read 7 PM, meaning everyone would be awake and on his or her way to breakfast. I shoved all thoughts of everyone else, dubbing it unimportant compared to my internal crisis.

There was a knock at the door. They had been coming everyday around this time. I knew it was Lissa, I could always feel her proximity. I mentally reached out towards the bond. She was upset and worried about me, she knew I was in there but didn't know exactly why.

"Rose? Rose, open the door. It's been three days, Rose. It's time to come out." Her voice was soft and tender, willing me desperately to open the door. I knew she didn't want to push me to talk or come out, but she was right, it had been three days since I'd eaten more than a few crackers and some water here and there. It was time to open the door.

I hauled myself up from the bed, feeling dizzy and weak from lack of sleep, food, and dehydration. "Coming." I croaked, my throat dry and sore from hours of endless sobbing. "Just give me a minute!" I called. I didn't want to Lissa to see me a mess, she'd be even more worried. I shuffled to the bathroom and tentatively checked my appearance. I gasped.

"Holy shit." I looked like a completely different person. My skin was oily and pale, there were deep purple bags under my haunted, red and puffy eyes, my hair was knotted and oily and my clothes hung loose on my skinny looking arms. I grimaced, ashamed of myself for letting it go this far. I threw in some stay-in shampoo and put my hair up in a bun, washed my face, brushed my teeth, put on some make up to hide the absence of color in my cheeks and bags and threw on a new pair of sweats and deodorized.

"Rose? It's breakfast time. We need to go." I opened the door to a shocked looking Lissa, not bothering to smile when I saw her.

"Let's go, then." I mumbled and walked past he. She was obviously surprised I opened the door, expecting me to be much more stubborn, but followed a few steps behind me, taking in my gaunt appearance. I knew the quick maintenance didn't do much to hide the fact that I looked like shit, but it was a start.

"You can stop staring." I snapped. I hadn't needed to look behind me to know that her eyes were glued to my back. Her thoughts were pulsing through the bond, letting me know _exactly_ what she thought.

"I wasn't staring." Really, Lissa? Just because I'd been hibernating didn't mean I hadn't been keeping tabs on her to make sure she was safe and happy. Just because my life currently sucked, didn't mean I was devoid of any responsibility. I let out a bitter laugh.

"Sure you weren't." I simpered, the sarcasm dripping off my words. She sighed. We were almost to the cafeteria; if I could make it there I could avoid a talk.

"Rose, wait. Stop." I groaned, spinning around to face her. She looked beautiful, as usual. Her hair was braided and pinned back, revealing more of her flawless pale skin. Her rosy pink lips were turned down into a frown, and her jade green eyes wore a look of concern and confusion. Compared to me, she looked like a goddess.

"What happened? Where have you been, and why?" She looked at me steadily, awaiting my response. I sighed, I knew she wouldn't budge on this, not this time.

"Not now, ok? I don't want to talk about it." I hoped she'd accept it and save it for later. I really wasn't ready to talk about it yet. I'd only just gotten out of my room and talking might just put me back to square one.

"Too bad, you have to talk about it. You don't hole up in your room for three days, cutting yourself off from everyone you love, then expect to just re-enter society like it never happened. You're going to tell me what the hell happened and you're going to do it right now. You hear me? I was worried sick about you! Do you know how concerned I was for you? The entire group has been trying to get you out of your room but I wouldn't let them because I knew that you needed time. You better have a damn good reason for what you did! Now start talking!" She was pissed, and she had every right to be. I'd cut them all off because I was too consumed in my devastation to think of anything else.

"I went to Church and sat next to Dimitri-" I was cut off by Lissa groaning. She gave me her worst look. I gaped.

"You're such a idiot, Rose! Do you have any idea what he's going through? You're making it harder for him, you know. You keep pushing him and it's not working. You need to back off! Give him some time. He's going through a lot. When I saved him, it was hard for him to come to terms with what he has done. I'm not sure if he can still love, Rose. Can't you just accept that and move on? Why do you always have to push it?" What. The. Fuck! When SHE saved him? Ha! I'd like to see innocent little Lissa break fucking Victor Dashkov out of prison! Yeah, not likely! She had no idea what she was talking about! I'm the idiot? And she honestly wanted me to give up the love of my life because she thinks it's best? No fucking way!

"You…you BITCH! YOU saved him? How the hell did you get there, huh? How did you find out how to save him? You really think that a spirit-charmed stake just fell into your hands and you just magically staked him? He's going through a lot? How about me? I almost died, Lissa! All to save him! I would've given my life to give him a second chance at his and you can't even give me fucking credit? You're calling me the idiot? Look in the mirror, you conceited bitch!" Normally, I didn't get this worked up over something, but this topic was one of those touchy subjects that I was sensitive too and she had gone and chewed me out about it. I couldn't believe her lack of sensitivity and kindness.

"How dare you call me that! I'm not the one who's a blood whore! I'm not the one who abandoned my best friend when she needed you most! I'm not the one who went gallivanting off to Russia for some secret love you never told me about! I'm not the one who locked herself in her room for three days without a word to her friends on why! And you're calling me the conceited one?" At that moment I lost all self control, too caught up in my blazing fury to care about any previous restraints or reservations. _Crack!_ My hand caught her cheek as I smacked her hard across the face, leaving a red handprint that would most likely become a bruise. She stumbled back a bit, eyes wide with surprise, at what I had just did. People came to a standstill, staring in complete disbelief, that I had just bitch slapped the Dragomir Princess.

"You _were_ my best friend. Now, you're no better than any other snooty ass Royal. I hate you and everyone who thinks you saved him. You have no idea what you're talking about but run your mouth anyways like you can't get enough of your own goddamn voice. I'm leaving Court. Don't bother looking for me, I don't want to be found. I'm tired of always putting you first. I've sacrificed so much for you yet you don't appreciate it whatsoever. Have a nice fucking life, Princess Dragomir." I spoke her name with as much venom as I could muster. She stood there, motionless, with a hand on her cheek where I'd slapped her. Everyone near us gasped at my harsh words, unsure if they should approach us or not.

I spun on my heel, not letting her get another word in and strutted off towards the cafeteria where I'd have breakfast and then make my way towards the garages. I wasn't planning on sticking around very long.


	4. The Runaway

**You blew me away this week! Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I hope everyone likes this next chapter! R&R!**

**Cold**

I stormed into the cafeteria, anger pulsing through me as I seethed at Lissa's irrational words. I couldn't even begin to fathom where she might've gotten the ridiculous idea that she was the heroine to Dimitri's tragic tale. All she managed to do was stake him with the aid of Christian's elemental magic. I'd busted my ass to give Dimitri the second chance at life and he'd tossed me aside like an old, used up, broken toy, to go worship the ground Lissa walked on. It set me off just recalling how he'd gazed at her in awe, without giving me so much as a glance.

A single, hot, angry tear escaped my eyes but was quickly brushed away as I walked into the cafeteria. I wasn't going to cry over either of them, not the ungrateful ass nor the conceited bitch deserved my sorrowful tears. I was done grieving my broken relationships. It was time to call upon the ones I had managed to salvage throughout the years. I knew whom I needed to talk to, and I was in luck. The person I knew I could lean on was casually sitting at a table with some ignorant, pretty girl flirting ceaselessly while nursing a cup of steaming coffee. Adrian.

I strolled over to their table, making sure to pointedly ignore the stares and whispers I was receiving. Adrian noticed this and waved me over, saying goodbye to the girl he was talking to. She got up and left, giving me a cold, envious stare before grabbing her purse and strutting angrily out.

"Woah. She's quite the charmer, Ivashkov." I joked. Adrian gave me a smirk, wrapping his arms around me and holding me close for a few seconds before giving me a swift kiss on the cheek and sitting back down. I was puzzled for a second before my memory hit me like a speeding train. Shit. I'd almost completely forgotten how I was currently in a relationship with Adrian. How the hell did I forget this? Oh yeah, the two most important people in my life dropped me cold.

It was no excuse though and I looked away at the table blankly, avoiding his gaze and feeling immense guilt wracking up.

"Is there something wrong, Rose?" I winced at his use of my real name. I much preferred his pet name for me. He only used Rose when I something was wrong or he was being serious.

"What happened to Little Dhampir, Ivashkov? What, did blondie win you over that quickly?" Humor was my only defense when it came to uncomfortable subjects and he knew it. He didn't even crack a smile at my attempt to lighten the mood. I frowned, irritated that he wasn't budging.

"What?" I asked, letting a bit of Rose Hathaway attitude seep into my words. Adrian just studied me for a moment, taking in my whole appearance before studying my face and eyes carefully, no doubt noticing my damp cheeks and forced smile.

"Don't lie to me. What happened?" he asked. I gulped, unsure whether or not to confide in him. I averted my gaze, resting it on a couple in the corner holding hands, whispering in each other's ears and laughing. It reminded me of how devoid my life was of that. Adrian followed my gaze, noticing the couple wistfully for a moment before turning back to me.

"What is it, Rose? Your aura is all over the place. Jealous? Anger? And tbe darkness is everywhere, Rose! What happened?" He locked eyes with me, moving his hand to rest it on top of mine. "You know you can trust me. You just won't let me in." His eyes pleaded with me, begging me to open up and enlighten him on the pitiful story that was my life. I shook my head, withdrawing my hand from his and leaning back.

"Stop." I snapped. I needed a clean break if I was going to leave Court. I wanted him to move on, I didn't need him remembering this moment anymore than I needed to. Opening up to him would wreck me even further.

"God damn it, Rose! Stop shutting me out! Ever since Belikov came back I haven't seen you at all. Not once, Rose! Do you know how worried I was, not knowing where you were or what you were doing? Especially with your ex back?" He was yelling by the end. I could feel my rage coming back, threatening to boil over like it had with Lissa. My temper was short as it was, even shorter after today's events, and he was pushing it.

Yet as I thought of his reasons, I felt guilt fight for dominance with my fury. He had every right to accuse me of cheating. I'd been sneaking around trying to find out information on Dimitri or moping about in my room for the past week. I had completely forgotten about Adrian, too caught up in my own drama to give any thought to him. I was officially an awful person, of course, I was much too proud to admit any of this.

"I don't want to talk about it, ok? You don't own me, Adrian! And how dare you accuse me of cheating! Jealous, much? I'm sick of everyone around here telling me what's going to happen like they can control me. Well guess what, buddy? I'm done! I'm tired of this. All of it! I'm done doing the thing that will benefit others. I'm done sacrificing parts of me for others. And I'm done fighting for everything that I have, which, by the way, isn't much if you haven't noticed! Not that anyone really cares! Nothing ever comes easy for me, there are no blessings in my life, and there's certainly nothing fun about it! I'm tired, Adrian, I'm fucking exhausted and I'm only 18!" I knew that I was unloading a lot of irrelevant, pent up emotions, but lately I was so overloaded that it didn't even matter. When I finished my rant I felt empty and tired, like it'd taken every ounce of strength I possessed to speak my mind. I felt like laying down where I stood and crying.

"Rose, when was the last time you took Lissa's darkness?" Adrian asked quietly. Oh, he thought this was darkness? Oh, how I wished it was!

"That's completely irrelevant! Ever thought that maybe this is how I really feel? Huh? Or are you too busy with your snobby little Royal-" I was cut off by a hard punch to my jaw, surprisingly enough it wasn't from Adrian, it came from behind me. I spun around, lowering into a defensive position. There, standing glaring at me was my mother.

"What. The. Fuck! You can't just walk around assaulting people!" I growled, giving her my worst glare while rubbing my jaw. Janine looked ready to explode with fury.

"Really? Because I was under the impression that you _could! _Especially with your shining example when you slapped the Dragomir princess! Do you have any idea how disappointed the Guardians are? How disappointed I am? Eddie was livid and I wouldn't be surprised if you heard from him later! Everyone at court is absolutely disgusted with your childish behavior! Now I suggest you go and make amends with Princess Dragomir and pray that she accepts your apology. She, along with everyone else, is mortified at the public embarrassment. You've officially proved yourself to be the bratty, irresponsible, hot tempered child I always knew you were!" She was ranting, consumed by her rage and spitting out as many hurtful insults as she could think. Her face was as fiery as her coppery hair and her eyes glinted dangerously, telling me that she was seconds from punching me again.

"What a surprise. Janine Hathaway is disappointed with her daughter. It's not like I had a shining example to live up to. I wonder why? Oh yeah, that's right, because you weren't here to give me one. Lissa is a spoiled, conceited, snobby bitch and I want nothing to do with her. I refuse to put up with this bullshit anymore. No one even cares about me, they only want what I can give to them! I'm sick and tired of it!" It was a low blow but I was too angry to think of anything better.

"Oh really? What are you giving me? Huh? A hopeless relationship?" Adrian had currently been watching the scene like a tennis match and had finally decided to side with Janine. No surprise there.

"What do I give you? Love. Motivation. Companionship. Purpose. Don't even get me going, Ivashkov." I spat the words out with as much malice and anger as I could muster. Adrian just nodded, surprisingly agreeing with me.

"Please, Rose. You act like it's some great feat. What do you so painstakingly give to me?" Her words dripped with sarcasm. I turned to face her head on, meeting her gaze steadily, a dead serious look on my face.

"A chance and family." I needed to say no more. She understood what I meant. I'd given her a chance by slowly letting her intergrade herself back into my life and besides me, she had no other family. She was alone without me, not like she even cared though. If she truly cared she would've been there the last 18 years.

"You're not my daughter. You're selfish and ignorant and you obviously don't know your place or your manners. I would pity you and your naïve and childish behavior, had it not been your own damn fault." With that she turned on her heel and stormed out, not even bothering to shoot me a final glare. I felt ready to explode with ire. She had no right, after being absent for so long, to reprimand me. She was no more my mother as I was her daughter. I wanted to scream.

"Rose, what are you thinking?" Adrian asked slowly, with a slightly suspicious ring to his voice. I shifted my gaze to his curious face, taking in his features one last time and committing them to memory before I turned away slowly.

"How much I'm going to miss you. Don't wait for me, Adrian." I murmured before slowly walking away, thinking about how much I'd gained and lost in only one year. I'd grown into an entirely different person. I strode out of the cafeteria, a coffee and donut growing cold in my hand. I had grabbed them on my way out but suddenly, my appetite had abandoned me, leaving me with a cold breakfast in my hands.

The weight of what I'd just decided bounced around the tired walls of my brain, my head going to overload as I realized what I was about to do. It seemed insane but oddly justified. I thought about everyone I loved.

Lissa was a conceited bitch and hated me. Dimitri didn't care for me in the least bit and had outright told me he didn't love me. Adrian needed someone who was good to him and didn't attempt to cheat on him, attempt being the key word. Christian would side with Lissa no matter what, and besides, he'd probably get over me leaving pretty easily. Eddie… Janine had said that Eddie was extremely disappointed in me and furious at my behavior, just like the rest of the guardians. Janine hated me too. The only person I hadn't managed to completely alienate was my father, and I had a pretty good idea of how far he'd go to hide me if I asked. I felt a lone tear made a pathway down my cheek. I sighed, tossing my breakfast in the trash, and made my way toward my housing, grabbing my bags, then fled to the garages, taking Abe's SUV and pulling out. I needed to leave, it was for the best. At least, that was what I told my self as I pulled out of the front gates, sobbing.

**Ok so this took forever to write, I had complete writer's block so reward me and R&R! Chapter 5 will hopefully come to me faster. R&R!**


	5. Extinguished

**Thanks to everyone who R&R! I have a special treat, this update is indeed a songfic. I chose **_**Set Fire to the Rain**_** by Adele from her album, 21. I hope you like it! R&R!**

**Extinguished **

_I let it fall, my heart_

_And as it fell, you rose to claim it_

I had let myself love and become vulnerable. I had let myself get hurt. I wasn't sure if I'd ever be able to open myself up again.

_It was dark, and I was over_

_Until you kissed my lips, and you saved me_

Dimitri had saved me in some ways, but if you summarized our relationship, he'd hurt me more than he'd helped me. Sure, he'd helped me through the dark times, but truthfully, he only made them worse.

_My hands, they're strong_

_But my knees, were far too weak_

_To stand in your arms_

_Without falling to your feet_

I was strong, I'd always been that way, but when it came to Dimitri, I was weak and vulnerable. He'd made me feel something I'd never felt before. My guard was always up, but Dimitri had a way of melting every defense I had.

_But there's a side to you_

_That I never knew, never knew_

_All the things you said_

_They were never true, never true_

_And the games you play_

_You would always win, always win_

I'd never known Dimitri completely before I'd saved him. I'd always seen him as invincible and tough, unable to show much emotion but full of it just beneath the surface. Now, I knew his vulnerabilities, his flaws, his true emotions. He'd promised me so many things, especially in the cabin. He'd told me he loved me unconditionally, that he'd always be there, that he wanted to protect me forever, and that I was his priority.

Oh, how he'd lied. Now, he wanted nothing to do with me, he could barely look at me for Christ sake! He didn't love me, he didn't protect me, and he wanted to be as far away from me as possible at all times. He was a liar, and had been playing with me the entire time. I was devastated.

_But I set fire to the rain_

_Watched it pour as I touched your face_

_Well, it burned while I cried_

'_Cause I heard it screaming_

_Out your name, your name_

Ever since Dimitri had been taken I'd had horribly vivid nightmares. Especially since I returned from Russia. I become accustomed to restless sleep and waking up screaming in a cold sweat. I always dreamed of him, of his scarlet eyes and chalky skin. Just the thought of the nightmares sent shivers down my spine.

_When I lay with you_

_I could stay there_

_Close my eyes_

Whenever I was with him, I felt at peace, like a part of me had been missing and now I was whole. Every touch, hug, kiss sent electricity coursing through my veins. To imagine a world where that was no more almost sent me to tears.

_Feel you here together_

_You and me together_

_Nothing gets better_

Dimitri was the only one who could ever make me feel that wholeness, that completion, that passion, that love. No one would ever come close to that one single year I'd shared with him. Dimitri was it. He was the one. My one and only. Knowing that I'd never feel whole again hurt, but I'd get through it. I had my memories. Sure, they weren't as good, but they were all I had to defend myself against depression.

_Sometimes I wake up by the door_

_That heart you caught must be waiting for you_

_Even now when we're already over_

_I can't help myself from looking for you_

I couldn't help but search for him, not physically, of course, I knew exactly where he was, but I searched for his love, any sign of love for me was hope. It was a reason to stay. But, as I watched the gates of the moroi court recede, I knew it was too late. It was too late for us. Too late for anyone to save me from the horror that was my life.

He'd stolen my heart, and then shattered it, leaving me to abandon it. I'd left my heart at court, and some tiny piece of me yearned to flip the car around, run back, and force Dimitri to take me back.

_I set fire to the rain_

_And I threw us into the flames_

_Well, it felt something die_

'_Cause I knew that that was the last time_

_The last time_

As I turned onto the highway, I felt a sharp pain in my chest. I'd officially given up hope that Dimitri, Lissa, anyone would come barreling down the road and beg for me to stay. I felt the hot, salty tears course down my cheeks, momentarily blurring my vision. I swerved, almost crashing, but righted myself just in time, making me cry harder. It's not like anyone would care if I were dead, right? So why won't you do it, huh? What's the point of living anymore if you have no one to live for?

It felt as if another piece of me had died. No one cared. It was the first time in my life that I knew for an absolute fact that no one gave a damn about some hot headed, reckless dhampir girl with no friends, family, or love.

I made a promise to myself. This would be the last time I'd ever open my heart up. This would be the last time I'd ever take a chance on someone, or put myself out there. I was closing myself off from any chance of ever getting hurt again. I knew I wouldn't be able to do this twice.

I pressed my foot on the gas pedal forcefully, accelerating away from my depressing life to start an emotionless one. I let out a bitter laugh as I realized I had no idea where I was going.

_Let it burn_

_Let it burn_

_Let it burn_

**Ok so this just came to me while I was listening to the song. I hope you like it! Read & Review Please!**


	6. Onward

**Ok so this won't be a SongFic. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, I got a lot of great ones this chapter! Hope you like chapter 6! R&R!**

**Onward **

Two Years Later…

RPOV

It had been two years. Two years since my heart had been mercilessly shattered into pathetic bits. I had picked up the pieces, and took them to Russia to hunt Strigoi. It was the only thing I knew how to do, and I wasn't going to let all those years of training go to waste. I ended up calling the only people in Russia that I knew where to find, the Belikovs. It was painful, seeing them reminded me so much of _him,_ but I was desperate for a place to sleep, and the Belikovs were incredibly hospitable. I remember showing up on their doorstep like it was yesterday.

_ I slammed the taxi door, grabbing the remainder of my luggage from the trunk and dragging it up the walkway towards the house. The door flew open, revealing a squealing Viktoria. I had been unsure about her reaction upon seeing me, remembering how angry she'd been with me when I left. _

_ "ROZA!" I flinched at my name in Russian, recalling how it'd been Dimitri's nickname for me. She sprinted the short distance separating us, flinging herself onto me, wrapping her arms and legs around me. "Oh, Roza I'm so very sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I was so naïve. I talked to Sonya and she told me what happened. I'm so sorry for everything. I feel awful about what I said. You're just as much a part of this family as I am. I'm so sorry, Roza." She rushed out her apology, talking a million miles an hour. I gave her a weak smile, gasping for breath as her bear hug squeezed the air out of my lungs, leaving me to choke. _

_ "Can't…. breathe… squeezing… me…" I managed, waiting until Viki realized she was suffocating me. She jumped off me, holding my shoulders and checking me up and down before looking at her feet and blushing fiercely._

_ "It's okay. We're all good. I know you didn't mean what you said. It's okay to be wrong sometimes. God knows I do it more than anyone else." I laughed, trying to lighten the mood and distract my thoughts from how painfully similar she looked to _him_. I sighed, indulging myself in a few moments of sorrow before mentally chastising myself and refocusing myself on the emerging Belikov family._

_ Viki gave me a look that said we'd talk later. I gave a brisk nod before turning to greet Olena._

_ "Roza! Where have you been, child? We were so very worried about you! Where did you go? Yeva told us you were fine but we were still confused as to why you left without a word! Come in, tell us!" She ushered me inside, sat me down, fed me, then coaxed the story out of me. I told them everything, minus the parts about my captivity in Galina's estate. I explained everything up to Dimitri's restoration. I didn't need to fill in the details about the break up. Dimitri cared a lot about what his family thought, and I didn't need to tarnish their opinion of him. It wasn't my place, and as tempting as it was to hurt him by taking that away from him, I didn't have the heart to do it. Let them think what they want, ignorance was good for them._

_ "You left a part out, Roza." Yeva growled. I looked up, startled. Did she know?_

_ "I'm sorry? I don't think I missed anything." I played dumb, praying that she'd let it go. I really didn't want to delve into the heartbreak anymore._

_ "You'd still protect his honor, even after all he's done to hurt you? That boy is an idiot!" Yeva exclaimed, losing her temper. The Belikov family looked between us, alarm and confusion written on their faces. _

_ "I'd rather not discuss it, Yeva. You mean a lot to him, and I'm not going to take you away from him. I've had virtually no family my entire life, and I won't do that to him. It'd be selfish and awful. He doesn't deserve that." I was trying to be efficient and concise, but emotion seeped into my words, and tears began to sting the backs of my eyes, threatening to water._

_ Yeva was fuming by the end. She slammed her wrinkly hand on the table, glaring at me. She was angry that I was defending her grandson? What the hell?_

"_He doesn't deserve your sympathy or your love He deserves every bit of pain he's caused you! That foolish boy!" She stood up abruptly, exiting the room, muttering angrily under her breath in Russian. I sighed, knowing that this wasn't over. The Belikovs looked at me expectantly. I caved, covering the topic of my heartbreak briefly before excusing myself to shower and take a nap. It had been a long trip._

I sat up in bed slowly, taking in my surroundings. I surveyed Dimitri's old room before climbing out of bed. A dull ache in the back of my head echoed from last night. I was visiting the Belikovs from Novosibirsk. Shortly after returning to Baia, I called up Lev and his team to see if our offer still stood. They'd been ecstatic by the chance to reform the Strigoi-killing-dream-team we'd made back when I was hunting Dimitri.

"Roza? Are you awake yet? Breakfast is ready!" I hauled myself out of my bedroom and made my way downstairs. Little did I know what lay ahead.

**R&R people! Sorry it took so long to UD. My dog recently drowned in the pond in my backyard and it took me a while to get the motivation. Review please! I need the encouragement.**


	7. Emergency

**WOW! Thanks to everyone who has been so kind and encouraging and gave me outstanding reviews! Since it took me so long to UD, I'm going to try and UD more often! Thanks again! I hope you enjoy chapter 7! R&R! **

**Emergency**

RPOV

I trudged down the stairs half asleep, hardly aware of my surroundings. So, of course, I didn't notice Viktoria hurtling at me from the direction of the kitchen.

"What-" I gasped as she slammed into me and dragged me back up the stairs. "What the hell are you doing?" I hissed, unsure whether or not it was safe to yell at her. Were there Strigoi in the house? I needed to protect the Belikovs, not hide and leave them defenseless!

"Shut up! He's here visiting. We didn't know he was coming! He surprised us just as you came downstairs! I figured you'd want a little bit of warning that he's sitting at the kitchen table." I lost the ability to breathe. I knew exactly who _he_ was. Dimitri. The name tasted sour on my tongue.

"Does he know I'm here?" I asked, maybe I could sneak back to Novosibirsk without him noticing?

"He knows you're in Russia and you've visited, but he doesn't know you're currently here. We figured you wouldn't like to be surprised like that. He's suspicious though. Yeva won't even look at him. She spit on him when he went to hug her." Viktoria looked pained to speak of it and I pulled her into a hug, sad that I was tearing apart their family.

"I need to leave then. I'm getting in between all of you. It's not fair to him. I'm leaving, and I won't be returning. It causes all of you pain when I'm here. I'm ripping apart your family, something I promised myself I wouldn't do. I'm sorry, Vika." I murmured into her hair as I squeezed her to me.

"You're a part of this family too, Roza. Don't leave." She whispered, her eyes pleading to with me, begging me to stay. I studied her for a moment before solemnly nodding. The damage was already done, what good would it do to run away now?

"Fine, but I can't be around him now. I just can't, Vika. I'll be in my room, okay? How long is he staying?" Her face lit up at the idea of me staying. A playful grin spread across her face, a mischievous glint in her eye as she realized she had gotten exactly what she wanted.

"Three days. Queen Vasilissa will need an escort to a meeting in St. Petersburg and so he decided to arrive a few days early to visit us. You'll have to stay in my room though, so go grab your things and move them before he finishes eating. Hurry!" Viktoria squealed. I rushed back up the stairs, grabbing my few belongings before dashing into Viktoria's room right as Dimitri was making his way up the stairs. I listened to his voice calling out to Viktoria. Oh, it was like velvet. I had missed it so dearly. I pressed myself against the door, yearning to be in his arms once more. Before I knew it, the knob was turning. I jumped back, startled.

"Vika?" He called, I didn't answer. How could I? I stayed as still as possible, not daring to make a sound. Then I realized something, why was I afraid? Why was I hiding myself? To avoid the pain? That was weak. I wasn't weak. He didn't love me anymore and that was his problem. I didn't need to be loved by him, I was no longer dependent on him, and I most definitely didn't need him. That was the pep talk I gave myself as I opened the door.

"Hey there, Comrade." My words were uncharacteristically cold and emotionless. It was a struggle to keep my guardian mask in check as I took in every inch of his painfully gorgeous face. I studied him as he attempted to put his guardian mask on, failing miserably. I noticed his face drain of color, and his lips start to quiver, I noted his eyes widen and his look of utter shock. I smirked, knowing that I'd caught him completely off guard. I composed myself mentally before flashing my man-eater smile and brushing past him to go downstairs and grab breakfast.

As soon as I made it down the stairs I heard him start to follow. I decided on skipping breakfast, something I only did in emergencies. I grabbed my sneakers, thanking the Lord, or whoever was listening that I wore workout clothes to bed. I rushed out of the house, grabbing my iPod in the process, making sure to get out before he made it down the stairs.

I slammed the door behind me, pumping my legs as hard as they would go, fleeing the scene of the unearthing of my heartbreak. I felt my stomach churning as a painful, crushing pressure hit me smack in my chest, leaving me gasping for hair. I stopped dead in my tracks, the music pounding in my ears. I didn't even recognize _Exit, Emergency_ by Houston Calls blaring through the headphones until now. I grimaced as I felt the desperation of reliving my heartbreak wash over me. The next three days were going to be absolute hell, but they'd sure as hell be entertaining.

**R&R! Also look up **_**Exit, Emergency **_**by Houston Calls. It's a really good song. It was my birthday on Tuesday so reward me with lots of reviews!**


	8. Remorse

**Hey everyone! Thanks for the reviews, they were all awesome! I got suggestion to do a chapter from Dimitri's POV and since I was already considering it, I decided to give you Dimitri's side of the story for a chapter. Hope you like it! R&R!**

**Remorse**

DPOV

I climbed the stairs, lugging my suitcase behind me, taking them two at a time. I had to go find Viktoria, she had motioned for me to come talk in private once I was finished greeting the family. It upset me that Yeva rejected me so harshly, but the woman was mysterious and always had her reasons, even if they were unknown to the rest of us.

Seeing the family reminded me how lonely I'd been for the past two years. Ever since Rose left, the gaping hole in my heart was unable to be filled. Princess Vasilissa tried to cheer me up, she truly did her best, but she had her own grief to handle and could only do so much.

The guilt and regret of my time as a Strigoi and after I'd been restored consumed me every moment since I let Rose walk out of that church. Not only had I pushed away my savior and love, I'd ripped her away from her family and friends. I'd wounded her so deeply that she was unable to remain at home. It was entirely my fault, every second she was away. Shame washed over me for the millionth time during the two years of her painful absence. I'd treated her horribly and I deserved every moment of my punishment.

I made it to the top of the stairs just as Viktoria's door slammed forcefully. I sighed, that girl would never learn. She reminded me so much of Rose with her sarcasm and witty quips. It never failed to earn her a sad smile.

I set my luggage down next to the dresser, examining my old room closely. Something seemed off. The room looked lived in. I was expecting a pristinely made bed, dusty shelves, and an empty trashcan. I noticed a empty water bottles in the waste basket, a messily made, rumpled bed, and only a thin layer of dust on the book shelves, not enough for a few years. I laid down on the bed hesitantly, testing to make sure it was the same. I snuggled my pillow to find it had a familiar odor to it. I just couldn't place it. It reminded me of someone, it was on the tip of my tongue.

Rose. That was it. Rose had been here recently. I must've just missed her. When I asked my family if they'd seen her they'd told me that she was in Russia and had visited but knew nothing more. I'd searched for a month but found nothing. Not a trace of a Rose Hathaway anywhere. Finally I'd tracked down a Marie Mazur, only to find that she'd stopped going under that name a few days after I'd started looking. She was gone. That was one of the hardest days of my life.

I sighed once more, breathing in her scent deeply, committing it once more to memory. It gave me comfort to know she was still alive and well. I loved how she got along so well with my family. They spoke so highly of her. It made me even prouder to love her so unconditionally. I heard a thud coming from down the hall and remembered my secret chat with Viktoria. I internally groaned, hauling myself up from the bed, and made my way toward her room. Knocking on the door I thought of the day that Rose left. It had been the worst day of my life, knowing that I was the reason she had intentionally abandoned everything she'd ever known to escape me and the pain I caused her. I felt a sharp twinge in my chest as I remembered finding the letters.

_I burst into her room, Lissa, Christian, Adrian, Janine, and Eddie hot on my heels with a lazy Abe lagging behind. I quickly scanned the room, finding it barren, just as I suspected, except for six envelopes on the desk, each one with a neatly printed name on the front. I felt my stomach do a flip-flop as I picked up the bundle with a quivering hand. I passed them out quickly, one for each of us. I ripped open my envelope to find a single sheet of paper and a stack of photos. _

Dear Comrade,

I'm sorry. I'm so incredibly sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't give you the support and patience you needed. I'm sorry for pushing you. I'm sorry for leaving. I'm sorry I couldn't face you in person. It was just all too much for me, Comrade. I couldn't bear to be at Court, knowing that your love has faded. I don't regret our relationship, no matter how painful it is. If what you said is true, then I'll be fine. I'll hang in there. Love fades, right? Well, if love truly does fade, than mine will. It'll hurt, but I'll get through it. I'll learn to forget you and everything we had, just like you wanted. I won't be returning, there's nothing left for me here. I'm sorry it had to end this way. Take care of Lissa for me. As much as I hate her right now, I never would have left if I didn't trust you with her life as well as my own. Thank you for helping me and being the greatest mentor I ever talked back to. You'll always have a special place in my heart. I wish you nothing but the best in your life.

With fading love,

Rose

_ I sank onto the bare mattress, gripping the letter to prevent punching a hole in the wall. This was my fault. All of it. She had such a bright future. I had singlehandedly destroyed her future as a guardian. The one thing she'd always wanted. I reached back into the envelope, pulling out a small stack of photos. I almost lost it, they were photos of us around campus. On the back of each one was a short description. There was only one without a description. It was one of her and I hugging after she'd finally beaten me in hand to hand combat. It looked worn, as if touched and looked at many times. I flipped it over and read her loopy scrawl on the back._

Dimitri,

I promised you I'd always love you. I lied, and I'm sorry. Love fades, and mine will. Please, don't look for me. Don't even consider it. You won't find me, so don't bother. Some part of me will always love you, but that part of me died that day at the church, and honestly, it's better that way. Thanks for the memories, but no thanks. They're all yours to keep. Guard them well, they're all you have left of me.

Yours,

Rose

_I let out a deep breath. I'd lost the one person I cared about so deeply, I'd die to keep them alive. I'd lost the one woman who'd captured my heart so effortlessly, and I loved unconditionally, yet pushed away out of pure idiocy. Now, my heart lay in ruins, yearning for my soul mate. I reread the letter and the note, picking apart every sentence. I studied the paper and the writing, the ink was smudged and there were patches of water stains across the page. I had a feeling she'd been crying as she wrote it. The thought of her crying because of me made me feel even worse._

_ "Oh, dear God, what have I done?" Lissa choked out, her voice a strangled gasp, barely audible in the silent room. I shook my head._

_ "It's more like what all of us have done." Janine stated before wiping away a stray, single tear, folding up the letter, and marching out of the room. I reread the letter, desperately trying to search for any clue of where she might've gone. I came up with nothing. I sighed once more before making my way to my room and falling asleep. That night I dreamed of her, I'd never woken up feeling so depressed. _

I knocked on the door, aware of how long I'd most likely spaced out. No answer. Viktoria was in there, though, I saw her go in.

"Viktoria?" I called. No answer. I started to turn the knob until the door flung open and there stood the impossible. Rose. The love of my life stood there in all her glory, a mischievous twinkle in her eye, and a smirk on her face. To say I was shocked was an serious understatement.

"Hey there, Comrade." I stood there, incapable of speech. She looked even more beautiful if it was even possible. Rose at 20 years of age was a slightly more matured looking version of herself. She was most definitely _not_ a teenager anymore. She was a strong, independent woman and she looked the part as well. Her sarcastic tone, however, proved that not much had changed. She studied me expectantly for a moment before brushing by me with a half smirk, half smile lighting up her gorgeous face. My stomach clenched and I gripped the door handle tightly, my knuckles turning white. I felt time slow down as she flounced out of the room and down the stairs, her feet making a soft thumping sound as the descended down the stairs. I felt my face drain of color as I realized that she'd been right under my nose this entire time, and I'd been an idiot not to have found her in my own house.

It took me a moment, but finally, I realized that I was still standing there, gripping the door handle as Rose made her way quickly out of the house. I spun around, almost knocking into Viktoria.

"You and I will talk later. I can't believe you never told me Rose was here! How could you?" I snapped before crashing down the stairs after the love of my life. I left Vika with her guilt and shame. There was no way in hell I was letting her off that easily.

Rose was sprinting, pushing herself as fast as she could go. I sighed, realizing that she was faster than I remembered and that it'd take quite a bit of effort to catch her. I groaned before throwing myself into a full sprint, pumping my arms ferociously, pushing my legs as fast and as hard as they would go. I mentally cursed when I realized she had headphones in, making it impossible for me to slow her down by talking to her. I was slowly closing in on her, she had steadily slowed down into a run, while I had sped up, my speed increasing as my legs warmed up. I grabbed her shoulder and she spun around, throwing herself in a defensive stance before realizing it was me and relaxing, but not completely. She pulled her headphones out, letting the loud music break the still silence.

"What?" She snapped, her eyes locked with mine, steadily glaring at me with a bitter hatred. I felt guilty. I'd made her this way, this bitter and cold. It was my fault, all of it.

I felt her staring at me as I stood there uncomfortably. I had no reason to talk to her, I'd just felt this need to chase after her. Something compelled me to sprint after her.

"Where have you been? We've been looking for you for two years. What the hell, Rose? You don't just walk out on your life like that without a reason!" I knew I had no right to chastised her like she was still my student, but I couldn't help myself. It frustrated me that she left.

She took a threatening step forward, getting in my face. "You have no right. No right whatsoever. I had my reasons and I owe you no explanation. You're lucky I didn't slip out the back door while you weren't looking. The only reason I'm still her is for Viktoria. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to finish my training. I have a team to lead." She had a team? She was training? Was she hunting Strigoi? I need to finagle her real address out of her before she put her guard back up.

"You have a trained team? Where?" I knew it was a long shot to get that much information out of her at once, but it was the only thing I had.

"That's none of your concern. Why don't you go back to the house and talk to Viktoria? I have a feeling she's dying for some answers." Her voice was as cold as ice, venom filling every word. I felt like someone had punctured a hole in me, I was deflated.

I had no right to expect anything but anger and bitterness from her, but some part of me had secretly hoped she'd come running up to me and hold me tight. I felt sick to my stomach, knowing that my one and only hated me with a burning passion. I nodded slowly, understanding that she needed space. Walking off towards the house, I threw one backward glance to see if she was watching me. That was the second time today that my heart broke, she was already sprinting off in the other direction, headphones in.

It was as if I no longer meant anything to her.

**Hey guys! Make sure to leave a review! Review, Review, Review! I hope you liked the chapter. Check out my profile to take a poll on where the plot should lead! Thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far! R&R!**


	9. Broken Love

**Hey everyone! So I would've UDed a while ago, but I'm currently moving and we had to deal with moving our internet connection and so I couldn't UD which was frustrating but I made sure to have this chapter ready to go! I hope you like it! R&R!**

**Broken Love**

RPOV

I ran for hours, pushing myself as hard and as fast as could manage. By the time I'd finally burned off enough stress to return, my legs felt like rubber. I knew I was going to pay hell for the strenuous workout tomorrow, but if it relieved me of any stress from Dimitri's sudden appearance, it was worth it without a doubt.

Questions. I had so many of them. They banged on the tender insides of my brain, giving me a painful headache. I racked me mind for answers, coming up with nothing. It was frustrating as hell and made me want to punch something, resulting in me pushing my legs faster and harder.

When I finally reached the house, I was exhausted. I wanted nothing more than to climb into the shower, enjoy the steaming water on my skin, then crawl into bed and die. Not literally, of course. Of course, as soon as I walked in, sweaty and disgusting, I was bombarded with concerned Belikovs.

"We thought you were lost or hurt or dead or left or something! Where the hell have you been, Roza?" Viktoria gasped, crushing me into a bear hug. Confusion enveloped my overloaded mind, I'd only been gone for what felt about an hour, what was their deal?

"What are you talking about? I haven't been gone _that_ long." Snark seeped into my words, making me sound annoyed. I sighed, I didn't mean to be short with them but seriously, I was an adult. I could handle going for a run.

"Rose, what time is it?" Olena asked tentatively.

"Eh, three o'clock in the afternoon?" I estimated. That gave me a 3-hour run, it sounded about right with the amount of stress.

"It's midnight, Rose. You've been running for 12 hours straight." I felt my eyes bulge. That couldn't be right! I peeked out the window and noticed the inky black sky. How did I not notice it get that dark? I blamed it on more advanced night vision than humans and an abnormal amount of stress.

"Sorry, I didn't even notice. I've got a lot on my mind at the moment." They all nodded solemnly, knowing exactly why I was so out of it. They knew the effect Dimitri had on me and how painful his visit was.

"It's okay. Now come, you need food immediately before you starve. God knows how many calories you've burned knowing the pace you run." Olena said smiling warmly. I kept a wary eye out for any signs of Dimitri.

It was like my thoughts summoned him. He came crashing down the stairs at an alarming rate.

"Did you find her? Is she safe?" He choked out, obviously unable to see me behind the crowd of family members. I stepped forward, watching him carefully as his eyes took me in. He sighed with relief.

"What's it to you?" I snapped, suddenly angry that he was concerned. He wasn't aloud to be concerned for me. He had no right, and it wasn't like I couldn't manage myself like an adult.

"We were worried, you were gone for a while and it was dark out. Baia isn't safe at night." He shrugged my comment off like his concern was unimportant.

"Well thanks for your concern but no thanks. I'm an _adult._ _Not_ a child. I can manage myself just fine. I'm quite capable without your help." The Belikovs looked like they wanted to die with embarrassment. Karolina leaned into the curtains, her eyes silently begging to become the wall just to avoid the heated reunion currently taking place in the living room.

"Why don't we all go make some dinner for Roza while they talk? How does that sound, everyone?" Olena recommended cheerfully while dragging Viktoria toward the kitchen and silently motioning for the others to follow quickly.

"Sounds great. We'll call you when it's ready." Karolina called over her shoulder. I sighed, knowing that they'd wait until we'd finished talking. The emotions roiled inside of me, tearing me apart as I stared at the kitchen door wistfully. I wanted to escape, just like I had two years ago. Part of my self-preservation was avoiding all contact with Court. I wanted it to stay that way.

"I-" Dimitri started but I cut him off, I didn't want to hear him talk about his fake concern to get in good with his family. I didn't want to hear him period. And everyone knew that if I didn't want to hear it, I'd rather rip out your vocal chords than listen.

"Don't. I don't want to hear a god damn thing you have to say. Period. You will leave me the hell alone until you leave for good. Got it?" I snapped, making sure he understood my no-nonsense attitude. Before I knew what was happening he'd crossed the room, stopping directly in front of me. He leaned down, his lips only inches from mine, before crushing them against mine, sweeping me into a passionate kiss.

It took only half a millisecond for this to happen. Leaving me no chance of avoiding it. He deepened the kiss, twisting his hands into my hair. It was pure, unsolicited bliss. I felt a wholeness envelope my heart and soul as his tender lips met mine. Then, my head completely wrapped around what was happening, my eyes widened as I realized that I was kissing _him_. Something I'd promised myself never to do again.

My eyes widened in shock as I unwrapped my hands from him, breaking the kiss and shoving him back a good distance. He crashed into the wall, landing with a painful thud.

"What the fuck!" I screamed, unsure of what else to say. I had plenty of material, yet my brain to mouth function was failing miserably. "What the fuck! Who the hell do you think you are?" I was in a blind rage, spitting out anything that came to mind.

By now, Dimitri had recovered somewhat from the unexpected blow. He was leaning against the wall near the spot he'd hit. A noticeable dent in the wall was present, almost making me laugh. Almost, but not quite. I was a bit preoccupied at the moment to find humor in it.

"You don't just kiss me! No! Who the fuck do you think you are? How dare you! You lost that privilege in the Church two fucking years ago! You _ruined _me! Do you have any idea how much I wish I'd never fucking met you? How dare you think you waltzing back into my life and expect me to pucker up! What the fuck!" I was seething, my words filled with as much venom as I could muster. Dimitri looked pained but kept touching his lips and looking at his feet. It was almost like he was trying to figure something out. I felt the tears well up in my eyes. The desperation welled up inside me and I felt the urge to do something reckless. I strode up to him angrily, each step resonating in the cold wood floors as I stomped toward him.

_Crack! _I landed a hard smack on his face, leaving an angry red handprint.

"I swear to fucking God, if you _ever_ try that again I will _kill _you. Understand?" Hot, angry tears started to spill before I could walk away. My voice started to break and I felt myself shaking with anger and shock. I gave him one last glare filled with as much menace as I could muster in my devastatingly desperate state and stomped up the stairs, slamming the door to Viktoria's room with an obnoxious crash.

I buried my face into my pillow, letting the tears pour endlessly, soaking the pillowcase. I curled up into a bawl, sobbing loud and long, letting all the pent up misery and pain out in every sob. His lips had been so frustratingly perfect for hers, tenderly meeting hers to complete each other. Once again, the unanswerable questions whirled around her mind before she drifted into a dreamless sleep, dehydrated, hungry, and exhausted.

**Ok, so a lot of action this chapter! Let me know what you think! Review, Review, Review! I hope you liked it! Also, I have a poll on my profile that you should check out if you're a fan of this story! R&R!**


	10. Vulnerability

**Sorry it's taken so long to update! My life has been hectic is an absolute understatement! So here's chapter 10, finally! Thanks for sticking with me, everyone! Hope you like it! R&R!**

**Vulnerability**

DPOV

I did it without thinking, a rare occasion. My behavior was solicited to the utmost degree. I did not act irrationally, I was known for my lack of recklessness and calm deliberate planning of every action, word, or plan that was a representation of myself. So when my brain turned off and my body acted on its own, you could say I was utterly shocked, yet the result of the action made me the happiest I'd been in years.

Our lips meeting was like fitting two puzzle pieces together, they just worked. Her lips were tender and soft, meeting mine passionately, as if they'd been waiting for this kiss. Yet in a way they had been. In the two years apart I'd yearned to kiss her with a burning passion, eating me from the inside out. The lack of contact left me wallowing in the remnants of the man I used to be, carrying around half of a scarred, broken heart, consumed with thoughts of my lost love, a wind up toy without its key. To say that the kiss had brought me joy was an absolute understatement. Alas, it ended painfully. I didn't even realize what had happen until my head cracked against the wall, leaving me with a splitting headache and completely disoriented.

She had completely lost control, entering into a state of unsolicited rage, spitting out vicious insults and swearing like a sailor. I picked myself up off the hardwood floor, dusting off the bits of drywall that had been dislodged by the impact. She stepped dangerously closer, threateningly, if you will, letting me know _exactly_ what she thought of me. I brushed my lips curiously with my fingers, only half listening to what she said. I knew by the tears starting to well up that the kiss had affected her similarly, even if she was too stubborn and proud to admit it. I had to be patient.

""You don't just kiss me! No! Who the fuck do you think you are? How dare you! You lost that privilege in the Church two fucking years ago! You _ruined _me! Do you have any idea how much I wish I'd never fucking met you? How dare you think you waltzing back into my life and expect me to pucker up! What the fuck!" It hurt. It hurt a lot. Not only did her words hurt, the rejection was clear, the fact that I'd hurt her was unforgivable in my eyes. I hated myself, and this was why. Her way of coping with my rejection was to become angry and bitter, to not let anyone pass her carefully constructed walls, guarding her from ever opening up, letting anyone in, or ever getting hurt again.

I could tell in that moment that I'd surpassed those walls, if only just for the moment. No one could slice through her guards like I could, no one got her like I did. The truly amazing part was that I had the same vulnerability with her.

_ Crack!_ I could've stopped her from smacking me. She didn't even bother putting and effort into it, she didn't expect me to block it and I didn't. I deserved a thousand more for what I'd done to my only love. The rejection hurt, but taking away her happiness, her bright future, was far worse and ten times more heartbreakingly painful. If she wasn't with me, I'd at least wanted her to be happy. Now I'd ensured that neither of those wishes would come true. I was a fool.

"I swear to fucking God, if you _ever_ try that again I will _kill _you. Understand?" She screamed, tears spilling over, her face contorted with fury. She stomped up the stairs before giving me one last menacing look. I felt numbed by the rejection. I sat down slowly, unsure if it was reality or all a dream, more a nightmare really. My mind replayed the scene slowly, memorizing every detail.

My family slowly entered the room, looking worriedly at me, the wall, the stairs, then back toward me. Yeva shuffled slowly up to me, staring me down solemnly with her knowing eyes.

When she finally reached me she paused, squaring herself toward me and looking me straight in the eye. "You are a fool. You don't deserve her with the way you act. How dare you think it will be that easy, you idiot! She loves you but she is strong and independent, very stubborn and opinionated. You must earn her respect and trust once more. You destroyed her spirit and broke her heart. Don't expect much, Dimka. She will come around, but you must be diligent. Understand?" I nodded solemnly. Knowing that Yeva was right as usual.

As I trudged up the stairs to me room, I couldn't help but ponder the night, recalling every detail of the kiss, letting it lull me to sleep with its joyful wholeness it brought me.

**So that's Dimitri's side of the story. I'll have a much longer update coming soon. I don't know where I'm taking the story yet, but I promise to update as soon as possible. R&R!**


	11. All I Ever Wanted

**Hey, everyone! So I'm going to admit it, I was a bit disappointed with the lack of reviews. Only 5 people reviewed! I think we can all do better than that! So please, review the story. It doesn't take much and it encourages me to write and gives me advice and ideas on the plots and characters. Help an author out! R&R please!**

**All I Ever Wanted**

RPOV

I woke up the next morning with a pounding headache due to dehydration. My extensive sob session had left me water deprived and exhausted. I lifted myself warily out of the bed, careful not to wake Viktoria. It was early morning and dawn was just setting in. I wanted to be long gone before Dimitri woke. I had made the decision that night as I fell asleep.

Dimitri deserved a pleasant visit with his family, not spoiled by the appearance of an ex lover. Though I wasn't sure if he felt the same way about the "ex" part. He'd hurt me beyond my capacity to forgive and forget. As much as I loved him, and yes, I did admit it, I still had feelings for him after all this time, I'd never be able to trust him, to fully let my guards down. The past was just too eminent, too much had happened. I just hoped and prayed to whoever was listening that I'd get over him sooner or later, preferably sooner. I was going back to St. Petersburg, back to my team, back to the family I _trusted_.

I silently packed my things, hoping not to wake Viktoria. I was packing random paraphernalia when I came across a stack of photographs. They were of my life back at the Academy. Most were of Lissa and I, but a few were of Dimitri. I felt a bitter twinge hit me, thinking about my old life, the life I'd left behind. Without thinking twice, I ripped the stack in half except for two. One of Lissa and I, and one of Dimitri. I couldn't bring myself to rip them all, but I didn't need the burden of so many memories.

_Tear up the photographs _

_But yesterday won't let go _

_Every day, every day, every minute _

My past haunted me, pulsing into my mind every waking second. I just couldn't seem to shake the reminders. I'd see a necklace and think of the lust charm, a Halloween costume would have me remembering crazy Halloweens with Lissa, the smell of cloves would remind me of Adrian, and Lev's aftershave sent my thoughts spinning towards Dimitri. It was inescapable.

_Here comes the emptiness _

_Just can't leave lonely alone _

_Every day, every day, hey hey_

My team couldn't fill the void, the hole I'd made when I walked away, when I left them all to escape the pain of reality. As much as they tried to cheer me up, or get me to relax, it was futile. My heart had hardened, like ice, unable to thaw from lack of closure.

_This second-chancin's really getting me down _

_You give and taking everything I dreamed about _

_It's time you let me know, let me know just let go_

As I walked downstairs I realized I was leaving behind a second chance with Dimitri. I was giving up on him. Being with him was much too painful. Yet hadn't my trademark always been believing in the impossible? Hell, I'd brought back a Strigoi! When had I become so realistic? My guess was when I had my heart mercilessly broken. He took my happily ever after away from me, and now as he had let me go, I was letting him go.

_All I ever wanted, all I ever wanted _

_Was a simple way to get over you _

_All I ever wanted, all I ever wanted _

_Was an in-between to escape this desperate scene _

_Where every lie reveals the truth _

_Baby cause I all ever wanted _

_All I ever wanted was you_

Dimitri had been my everything. Two years back, if you'd asked me what I truly wanted, I would've said to be Lisa's guardian and spend the rest of my life with Dimitri, without a doubt in my ignorant, little mind. Now, all I wanted was to get over him, over my dream job, over my best friend. All I wanted was to forget.

_I'd rather walk alone _

_Don't wanna chase you around _

_Every day, every day, every minute_

I was tired of always being in love when he wasn't. I was done pining over someone I couldn't have. I thought of him every minute of every day and I was tired. Tired of always wanting what I couldn't have. It was painful and heartbreaking. It made me a shell of the girl I once was, of the woman I wanted to be. I wanted to move on, yet the past haunted me, holding me back, keeping my caged in the chains of my memories and regrets.

_I'd fall a thousand times _

_Before I let you drag me down _

_Every day, every day, hey hey _

I was determined to move on. I refused to let myself get sucked into the memories. I didn't want to live in the past. I wanted to live, and staying here wasn't helping.

_Your new beginning was a perfect ending _

_But I keep feeling _

_We've already been here before _

_It's time you let me know, let me know just let go_

His new life as the Strigoi that came back became our end. He kicked me out of his life the second he came back, refusing to even see me. It was maddening and I hated him for it. Sometimes I wondered if traces of his Strigoi personality lingered still, explaining how he'd so easily distanced himself from me, breaking off our relationship with a cold snap, a clean break, just as I'm sure he planned it.

We'd already been through pretending we could work out, and I wasn't going to be the love-struck idiot who tries to force the relationship. He'd caused my heart too much grief to forget, to trust, to love. It was a viciously merciless state, wanting him desperately, needing his love, yet unable to trust in him, to return his love completely. There would always be the reminder of how he'd hurt me. I'd forgiven him for his acts as a Strigoi, but as a dhampir, he was an asshole no matter how you put it.

_Tell me with so many out there _

_Why I always turn to you _

_Your goodbyes tear me down every time _

_And it's so easy to see that the blame is on me_

As much as I hated it, Dimitri was the only one who _got _me. He was the only one to ever completely understand me and accept me for who I truly was. He'd seen my vulnerabilities and my weaknesses, he knew every part of me, of my soul, it scared the shit out of me, especially now.

I carried his last words with me wherever I went, lingering in the back of my mind until I was alone or sad, then pouncing, catching me off guard and dragging me back to step one, grief. He'd torn out the animation, the light, the sass, the fire when he pushed me away, he killed me, not in body, but in mind and soul. I felt like a wind up toy who's key had been stolen. Yet, I still felt the guilt for leaving so many behind. Eddie. Janine. Abe. Lissa. Christian. Mia. Their names left me guilt ridden and regretful.

As I picked up the phone, I felt a weight set onto my shoulders, it was the regret, as there was no going back now. The phone rang a few times before Lev picked up.

"Rose? What's up? Is there something wrong? Strigoi?" Lev asked, his voice becoming more and anxious as his mind jumped to disastrous conclusions.

"No, no Strigoi. I just need you to pick me up in Baia. I'll explain when you get here but I just really need to come home, back to St. Petersburg. It's... complicated. Okay?" It was a lame attempt to explain, I knew it, but Lev knew better. He knew me well enough that when I answered questions evasively, something was definitely up, as I wasn't known to beat around the bush when I had something to say.

"I'll be there in a few hours, just sit tight, find somewhere safe and sound, okay? See you soon." He said before hanging up. I could detect the concern in his voice, knowing that I'd have a lot of explaining to do. They knew about Dimitri and why I left, the entire story, but they didn't know I was still in love with him. I surrendered the mysterious story of my past after a few months to make sure they were trustworthy, but how I felt currently, that was private, something I refused to give away. As leader of the group, I had a duty, and getting all mushy gushy over some guy wasn't the way a Guardian should act. I was the only one on my team with a Promise mark, giving me superiority during hunting, and I wanted to set an example.

I started down the road, carrying my duffel bag along with me, wondering if I was making the right decision or the biggest mistake of my life. I guess I'd find out sooner or later, right? Yet as I walked farther away, I felt my stomach drop. I would most likely never see Dimitri ever again, and that was something that I'd never considered. I'd always assumed he'd chase after me when I first left, now, was I even worth the search? I felt a lone tear pave its way down my cheek. I had a feeling that it was a mistake.

_All I ever wanted was you…_

**Ok so that was difficult to write so review please! The song is **_**All I Ever Wanted**_** by Kelly Clarkson. It's not my favorite song or anything but I loved the lyrics and thought they went well. Adele and Kelly Clarkson will most likely turn up in a lot more of my writing so keep reading! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! If you want me to update, encourage me with reviews!**


	12. Anguish

**Hey everyone! So I wasn't super impressed with my number of reviews. I'm hoping that I can get 10 reviews this chapter? You can do it! I believe in you guys! Anyways, the song I used is called **_**When You're Gone**_** by Avril Lavigne. If you watch the official music video, you'll bawl your eyes out it's so sad. This chapter I decided to show Dimitri's side after Rose leaves. Hope you like it! R&R!**

**Anguish**

DPOV

I woke with a start before remembering where I was. I took in the empty bed next to me. Rose had no doubt woken up before me and snuck out of my arms, too proud to admit that she'd been in my arms. It made me smile to think of how soundly I'd slept with her in my arms.

That's when I noticed the folded piece of paper lying on her pillow. I snatched it up, fearing the worst. My fears were confirmed as I opened the note and skimmed it.

_ Dimitri-_

_I can't do this again. I'm sorry, but I've already given up on you. I've moved on, and you should too. I never expected to see you again after I left Court, and honestly, I think it's best that it doesn't happen again. I loved you dearly, but you hurt me in a way I can never forget. I forgive you for your actions as a Strigoi, but as a dhampir you hurt me far worse. We can't and won't ever be the same. It's time we both find someone who won't hurt us. You said you'd given up on me, well I've given up on you. It's time to move on. I wish you the best of luck wherever life takes you._

_Rose_

Gone. Again. No. My ability to comprehend the reality was frozen. She'd been found once, and I was sure she'd make sure not to be found again. My heart broke even further than it had two years ago. I'd squandered the opportunity I'd been given, and now, she was long gone, never to be found again.

I put my head in my hands, unable to comprehend the hollow, numb feeling that consumed me. I felt unable to function. This note was the confirmation I'd been searching for. After she left, I'd always wondered if she regretted it, if she'd acted recklessly and wanted to come home, but pride kept her at bay. Now, I knew for sure. She had a life in Russia, if she even was in Russia, a life with no regret, and no intention of ever returning home, if she even considered Court her home anymore. I felt a single tear run down my face as the reality of it all hit me. I had lost her officially.

_I always needed time on my own_

_I never thought I'd need you there when I cry_

_And the days feel like years when I'm alone_

I had always been a loner, but Rose had a way of bringing me out of my shell of grief over the things and people I'd loved and lost. I never thought I'd be so solely dependent on one person. I never thought I'd count the days apart.

_When you walk away I count the steps that you take_

_Do you see how much I need you right now_

I reread the letter. Over and over and over and over again before crumpling back onto the bed, breathing her scent still lingering on the pillows. I needed her, desperately. She was like an addiction, without her I was useless. I was a lost half, needing it's other to become whole again. I wasn't me without her.

_When you're gone_

_The pieces of my heart are missing you_

_When you're gone_

_The face I came to know is missing too_

_When you're gone_

_The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok_

_I miss you_

I'd spent two years of numb hell without her, praying that I'd find her soon. At this point, knowing that I'd never see her again, I knew not a reason to live. What was the point of living if you're absolutely sure you'll be miserable? I knew I'd never be happy again, not truly happen. Everything would be bittersweet if I wasn't sharing it with Rose. She always had a way of brightening my day and making everything that much better. She could turn my entire day around with a single smile. She brought light into my life like no other could. I missed her terribly, and knew that the feeling of dread would never leave me as long as she evaded me.

_I've never felt this way before_

_Everything that I do reminds me of you_

_And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor_

_And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do_

I'd never felt this incompletion before, this feeling of numb dread that encompassed me. I unfurled myself, knowing that I needed to make an appearance at breakfast to prevent suspicion. I trod down the stairs heavy hearted and miserable.

"Hey there, big brother! Where's Rose?" Vika said with giddy suspicion and a smirk on her face. Karolina and Sonya started to bust up laughing.

"Gone. She left me a note saying she was leaving and not returning. What's for breakfast?" I mumbled, deadpan. I wasn't going to try to hide that she left. Everyone froze, except Yeva, of course. She probably knew Rose was leaving a long time ago.

"Why?" Mama asked, letting the bacon burn in her shocked curiosity. I sighed, I really didn't want to discuss it.

"It's not important. She left. She's not coming back. Ever. Ok? Now can we please just have breakfast? I'm starved." I faked. I really wasn't hungry. Okay, I wasn't hungry at all. Not after the horrid feeling in my stomach settled in, making food sound absolutely repugnant. I needed to change the subject quickly before they blew up.

"Are you kidding me? Tell us RIGHT NOW! Why would she leave like that? She promised me she wouldn't!" Vika yelled, sticking her chin up defiantly, just like Rose. Except Rose was no longer like that, she'd lost that spark, that rebellious part of her that withstood conformity and stood up to the world fearlessly, without a doubt in her mind that everything would be okay.

"She left because she couldn't bare to be near me. She couldn't stand to see me. She left just like she did last time. _Because of_ _me. _It's my fault the same as at Court. I ruined it again. I completely alienated the only woman I've ever truly loved and now she can't even exist near me for more than 24 hours. Any other questions?" I snapped, pouring out the raging emotions tearing me apart mercilessly, my frustration and pain hitting its breaking point. I stormed out the door, unable to breathe with so many pitying stares gawking at my outburst. I felt suffocated. I started walking, then jogging, then running, and finally I was in a full on sprint. I had no idea where I was going, but it didn't matter. I was dead inside and there was no remedy for it. No attainable remedy, at least.

_We were made for each other_

_Out here forever_

_I know we were, yeah_

_All I ever wanted was for you to know_

_Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul_

_I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah_

Rose was everything. Everything. I was _nothing_ without her love. It was supposed to be Rose and I taking on the world together. I needed her, I'd give anything, _anything, _for another chance, a chance to tell her how much I loved her, how much she meant to me, how much I needed her. I felt suffocated without her. I needed her, I needed to see her beautiful face, see her smile, taste her lips on mine, feel her in my arms, smell her scent on my pillow, play with her hair, tell her how beautiful she is and how much I loved her, every day. I'd go to hell and back for her without a doubt in my mind. I'd die for her, if it meant she'd be happy. And that's when it hit me.

I no longer made her happy. She'd made a life for herself, a happy life, without me. She didn't need me in her life like I needed her. After all, she was an independent, strong woman who'd moved on and found a way to be happy, _without me. _She may love me, but she didn't _need _me. It was time to let her go, to let her be happy. It was for the best, just like she'd said. She'd grown out of me, I was a thing her past. If I no longer made her happy, than it was for the best that she moved on. It was time for us to move on. If she couldn't be happy with me, than I wanted her to be happy with someone else, no matter how much it hurt, I had to let her go.

With this new resolve in my mind, I headed back to my family to spend the holidays as cheerfully as I could, then I was heading back to Court. As I ascended the steps to the house, I made a promise to myself, to Rose, that I would live my life in the present and not dwell on the past, I would move on completely and let myself be happy to the best of my ability. I felt the sick feeling in my stomach subside, just for the moment, and I knew that I would keep to that promise.

**Okay so super sad chapter, sorry. The big "title" chapter is next so 'stay tuned'! Review PLEASE. I need the encouragement. REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!**


	13. Breakdown of the Broken

**Wow! You guys did a **_**wonderful **_**job of reviewing! 16 reviews! So proud to call you my subscribers! R&R!**

**Breakdown of the Broken**

RPOV

It'd been a year. A full year since I'd walked away from that house, from that family, from _him._ Yet, it felt like yesterday. The wounds inflicted upon that decision were still fresh and painful. The guilt chained me to the memories, unwilling to let me forget, to move on, the very thing I'd wanted to do.

No, I hadn't moved on. I relived every mistake, every second, of every day, regretting every bit of it. I didn't even bother deluding myself with the falsities I'd tried to convince myself of. It was pointless, no matter how hard I chanted in my head that I was over him, I wasn't, and that was all there was to it. But it wasn't.

I hated myself. Not myself as a whole, but one very frustratingly stubborn characteristic that I possessed, a trait that coexisted in every fiber of my being. Pride. Pride was what held me back. I refused, after all this silent time, to go crawling back to them like the weak, pitiful, emotionally unstable wreck that I was. I absolutely refused. I would not eat my words, nor would I beg for them to take me back. I was above that. Either that, or I was a coward. I chose to ignore that resolve; unable to fully think it through for fear that I may convince myself to 'nut up' or 'get a set' and march back to Court before I can stop myself.

I was eating dinner with the team, spaghetti and meatballs. I ate it without tasting, something that was common practice for me. I'd grown numb to anything that could comfort me or bring me any sort of pleasure, which food usually could. A world without Dimitri or Lissa wasn't a world I wanted to be, sadly, I didn't have much of a choice. I sighed once more, depressed at how repetitive my life seemed.

Wake up. Get an assignment. Plan. Execute. Clean up. Go to sleep. Repeat. It was a hard life, but I liked it, knowing that each mission prolonged the life of many people who'd been destined to die by the hands of a Strigoi.

"Hey did anyone grab the mail? I forgot to." I groaned, not wanting to get up and walk through the snow to get the junk mail that piled up in our inbox. They all shifted uncomfortably in their seats, letting me know that something was up. I attempted to raise an eyebrow, failing miserably.

"Well? Anything good?" I asked suspiciously, curious as to what was wrong. Artur shifted his gaze to the crumbs on the table, unable to look me in the eye. I shifted my suspicious glare to Lev, he coughed uncomfortably, avoiding my eyes.

"You're not bullshitting anyone. What's the deal? One of you better tell me before I choke it out of you." I threatened, making myself sound as menacing as possible. This time I glared at Denis, knowing he was the easiest to break.

"Denis?" He gulped nervously, unable to continue eating. He put down his fork slowly before turning to get up.

"You sure?" Artur asked him, "It's not going to do any good telling her. You know that." Denis shrugged.

"She'll kill us if we don't." He stated as if it was the simplest resolve he'd ever come up with.

"Alright." Artur shrugged, doubt encompassing his face. I noted this exchange, trying to decipher what they were keeping from me. Denis walked over to the kitchen, grabbing a torn open envelope off the counter. He set the envelope in front of me carefully before backing away quickly.

I picked the envelope up, flipping it over and reading the return address. The name read Naomi Gorbachov. Who was that? The address was the Royal Moroi Court. It also contained the Belikova's address, it must've been forwarded. I flipped it back over, pulling out a thick highly decorative piece of paper. My stomach dropped as I read it.

_You are cordially invited to celebrate the wedding of_

_Dimitri Belikov _

_And_

_Naomi Gorbachov_

_On the 12 of December_

_At 11 o'clock_

_The Royal Moroi Court Church_

_Followed by a reception in the Royal Ballroom_

"Oh." I stared, and stared, and stared, the invitation gripped in my shaking hands. I felt the tears welling up. No, I couldn't cry in front of my team. I was a leader. I needed to shrug this off. Pretend it doesn't matter.

"Rose?" Artur asked tentatively, as if I was a fragile doll, a touch away from shattering. I wiped away a loose tear quickly, setting down the invitation. My mind was in overload, making me unable to process a coherent thought, therefor crippling my ability to speak.

"Oh." I uttered, my capacity to speak at its limits. I couldn't function, think, speak, I couldn't even pretend nothing was wrong, as desperately as I wanted to.

"Come on, Rose. I think you should go lay down for a little while, the assignment can wait, you're not looking too good." Lev gave me a concerned look before trying to pull me up out of my chair. I was dead weight, unable to move, my brain couldn't currently process that.

"Come on, Rose. Let's go lay down." They talked to me like a child. This time Lev picked me up, he was strong enough of course, I wasn't that heavy. He carried me to my room, laid me down, changed me into sweats, he'd obviously seen enough of me to no longer consider it weird, tucked me in, shut off the light and left. I stared at the wall, completely in shock. I could hear them whispering in the hallway, but I didn't really care to know what about, knowing that it was most definitely about me.

Dimitri was engaged. Engaged. To someone else. Someone that wasn't me. Naomi Gorbachov. He moved on. He forgot me. Just as I'd foolishly asked him to. His love had officially faded, and the invite was probably his way of telling me so. The tears started to pour. I'd lost everything. Friendship. Family. My home. Love. And now hope.

Naomi Gorbachov. Just her name made her sound beautiful. I pictured a slightly Russian looking girl with high cheekbones, slightly tanned skin, long, thick black brown hair, just like mine, and naturally rosy lips. I envisioned her as a more mature version of me, but more foreign looking and cultured.

I wonder if Dimitri loves her even more than he ever loved me. I wonder if she makes him laugh like I did, or if his smiles light up her day as they did for me. I wonder if he twirls her hair in his fingers, or if she is has an attitude like mine, or if she's kind hearted and loving. I wonder if he thinks she's brave, and I wonder if she's Moroi or Dhampir. I couldn't see Dimitri with a Moroi, so I guessed that she would most likely be Dhampir, and if she was a Dhampir, I wonder if she takes her Guardian duties as seriously as Dimitri and I do. But most of all, I wonder if he's truly happy with her.

That night I cried myself to sleep, counting down the days until I'd die inside, until the wedding. I drifted off with thoughts of how dearly I missed him and woke up with the same mindset, completely devastated and absolutely hopeless.

The knock came around 11 AM. I groaned, knowing that they either wanted to get going or talk. I guessed the latter, and how right I was.

"Come in at your own risk." I called, earning a chuckle from Denis as the three of them barged in and jumped in my king size bed, the very thing I demanded I needed.

"Morning, sunshine! How'd you sleep?" Lev sing-songed. I raised my eyebrows, surprised he'd even asked.

"Are you sure you want to ask that question?" I snapped playfully, trying to avoid a talk. They were having none of it, though, and immediately became somber and serious.

"Yes. We need to talk about this. Now. No avoiding it, we will pin you down if necessary. As badass as you are, I don't believe you can take all three of us at the same time, especially before coffee." They knew how good I was at avoiding talking about anything. My sarcastic humor was a perfect defense mechanism and had saved my ass on many occasions.

"Judging by where this talk is going, I'm almost tempted to take my chances." I joked, trying to lighten the mood. They stared me down, not even cracking a grin. "What do you want me to say? Hey, my ex is getting married. So what?" I tried to play it down, but who was I kidding? Ya, no one. They all watched my breakdown last night. There was no avoiding this talk.

"Don't even bother Rose. You're not getting out of this talk, so take all the time you need to gather your thoughts, we have no assignments today and I can clear tomorrow's if necessary." Denis warned, sounding very much like my former instructor, Stan Alto.

"Fine. You want to talk? Dimitri is getting engaged to Naomi Gorbachov. I don't know her, but I'm sure she's wonderful and everything I'm not and more. You want to know how I feel? Horrible. I'm devastated and broken hearted, thanks for asking. I regret leaving, but guess what? I don't get a redo, and it can't be fixed so I lose and that's that. I fucked it all up like the reckless idiot I am and now I've lost everything. _Everything._ You three are all I have left but I'm sure I'll find a way to screw this up too, I'm known for doing the impossible. I was naïve and hurt and wanted to be free for once in my life and now I've lost my friends, my family, my home, my love, and my hope, excluding you, of course. I hate myself, okay? I'm too damn proud to go back, but I'm depressed if I don't. It's a lose-lose situation. I'm unfixable, broken for good. So now that I've completely embarrassed myself, can I please go get some coffee? Unless you have anything else to say?" I ranted, wiping tears and snot as I went.

"Do you still love him?" Artur asked tentatively, cautious in case I might explode in my fragile state. I thought for a moment on how to answer. Could I admit the truth? Would I let my pride hold me back and pretend he means nothing? I had no idea, so I blurted out the first answer that came to mind.

"Yes, I do. It hurts so badly, but I still do, and I think I always will. I'm not sure how after all this time and all that's happened, but I do. I love him." I spoke slowly, stumbling over my words, the admittance setting my heart on fire.

"Then I think you should go." Lev stated. What in the hell was he talking about?

"What?" I was shocked. He actually wanted me to go to the wedding? Was he absolutely nuts?

"I think you should go to the wedding. You were invited. You have every right to be there. Besides, you never know what may happen." He gave me a mischievous wink, which was returned with a disapproving glare.

"Absolutely not. I wasn't invited. The invitation was his way of telling me that he's moved on as well. Just like I asked him to." My voice rose a few octaves as I started to panic. They really weren't going to force me to attend the wedding, were they?

"Oh yes, you are! Otherwise you're going to regret it forever. And if I'm stuck with you forever, I don't want to hear you bitching and moaning about that wedding that you should've gone to. You're going, now start packing, we board our flight in two days at noon which gives us a whole day before the wedding. Got it?" They'd already booked tickets! How dare they!

"You booked tickets? You're all assholes, but I guess you're right. That doesn't change the fact that you're all still total assholes. Now someone grab me some coffee, a box of donuts and my suitcase. I hate you all, by the way." I sighed, defeated this was going to be one hell of a trip. I just hoped it turned out successful, though I highly doubted it.

**Ok so the next chapter is going to be a Songfic of Someone Like You, I promise! Next chapter will also be **_**very**_** long! Stick with me people! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! Thanks! R&R!**


	14. Someone Like You

**Ok so I loved the reviews! Thanks to everyone who did! This next chapter is going to be a Songfic of **_**Someone Like You**_** by Adele from her album 21. It's my favorite song ever so if you don't like it, crawl in a hole and die! Please review! I need the encouragement, especially for these upcoming chapters, that I know are going to be super difficult to write. Also, a picture of Naomi will be up on my profile. R&R!**

**Someone Like You**

RPOV

The plane was landing at Court. I couldn't breath. I was finally here, I was finally home, and I was scared shitless. The captain signaled for us to get up and off, but I couldn't move.

"Let's go, Rose. We got to get off the plane. Come on, Rose." Artur encouraged me softly. I snapped out of the stress-induced haze and stood up, grabbing my luggage, and sprinting to the car waiting for us as fast as possible, God forbid someone I knew saw me.

I had made it very clear that I was only attending the service, and once that was over, I was going straight back to my room to cry and eat ice cream, and nothing or no one would stop me. Of course, I think it was a dead give away if my team went to the reception, which they insisted they would, that I was here. The Belikovs would know for sure. I grimaced at the thought.

We stopped off at guest housing and I once again sprinted into the house with my luggage, nervous that I'd spot someone from my past. Now, we would wait until the wedding. Once again I found myself lying in my bed pondering the acute misery I had foolishly forced upon myself.

_I heard that you're settled down_

_That you found a girl and you're married now._

I thought of Dimitri, how in love we used to be, how he'd pushed me away, and how I'd done the same. I thought of how he was getting married to someone else, someone named Naomi. I thought of how painful it was going to be, watching him tie the knot, without knowing how much I truly loved him, without knowing that he was going to kill me inside.

_I heard that your dreams came true._

_Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you._

It killed me to think that Dimitri no longer thought of me, no longer cherished the memory of our love, and no longer loved me. It put a hole in my heart that couldn't be filled by anything other than him. It was maddening; knowing that I was this close but could do nothing but sit and wait. Dimitri had finally found the girl of his dreams. A girl that didn't break his heart and leave him hurt and alone. He'd found someone better; he'd found his soul mate, his true soul mate. Never in a million years would I ever have guessed that his other halve wouldn't end up being me.

The time passed quickly and before I knew it, it was time to get ready, mentally as well as physically.

"Rose! Get dressed, the wedding is in an hour." Lev called from the hallway. They'd pretty much avoided my semi-conscious self the entire time since arriving at Court. They didn't know how to deal with my situation, and to be honest, I didn't either.

I hauled myself out of bed, specifically avoiding thinking about what I was getting ready for. I slipped on the black dress, the exact one I wore to the dance, the exact one Dimitri took off, the only dress I owned. I wasn't exactly one for dress shopping, especially for one-time occasions. Lissa was usually the one forcing me to buy dresses, so obviously I hadn't really invested in them much unless they were slutty and revealing to attract Strigoi.

I brushed my hair, slipped on a pair of patent leather black pumps, and proceeded to do my make up. Before I knew it, the boys were breaking down my door, demanding that I had to leave now. I sighed, opening the door slowly, waiting for their reaction.

Their mouths dropped, something I hadn't seen since I first joined them. They had almost lost it the first time I went hunting with them in my sexed up Strigoi-attracting outfit, but after a while, they became accustomed to my looks, so when I got this reaction, I felt pleased to say the least.

"Well?" I asked, knowing that their answers would build my confidence, confidence that I was most definitely going to need.

"You look…" Lev started. They were all awe-struck at my appearance. I felt my cheeks burning red as they gawked.

"Beautiful and sexy. Nice work, Rosie." Denis teased. I felt my mood turn sour. They're 'funny' nickname for me set me on edge. Rosie was girly, god awful, and altogether not a name I would tolerate.

"Don't be fooled by the dress, I can and will kick your ass if you ever call me that again. Got it, Denny?" I growled, poking my finger in his chest. He gulped, nodded, and proceeded to whine about the use of 'Denny'. If I was going to have a horrid nickname, so was everyone else.

I tuned out their incessant chatter on the walk there. I couldn't seem to force myself to focus. My mind wandered too easily to the upcoming catastrophe. I knew I would cry, I knew I would hide and avoid everyone I knew, and I knew I'd probably leave early. Just the dress made me want to hide in my bedroom and cry. Seeing him again would be painful and miserable, but seeing him again getting married to someone else? Well, that was just unbearably cruel. So naturally, I flew halfway across the world to experience just that. I seriously needed to rethink my priorities.

"Are you okay? You seem tense." Artur observed. I almost laughed. Seriously? I seemed tense? I swear I was going to kill them all.

"No shit, Sherlock." I hissed as we entered the Church. My stomach dropped. I hadn't even realized that this was the very place where my heart had been mercilessly broken by the very man I had flown all this way to see. It was a cruel twist that added to the silent misery I had endured for years now.

"Let's find seats, quickly." I suggested, half dragging them to seats near the back. I didn't want to mingle, nor did I want to be spotted. I was going to attend this for the boys and that was it. I never agreed to participate.

We found our seats in the back and started chatting. I kept my head ducked and my voice low. Across the room I spotted Lissa chatting away with Tasha and holding hands with Christian. They seemed happy. I also noticed Tasha in the arms of a hunky Dhampir; I guess she finally found her happy ending. I searched the room a bit more and found Adrian chatting with Mia and Eddie, a tumbler of amber liquid occupying his hand. Some habits just can't be broken. I spotted my mother and Abe in deep conversation, completely absorbed in each other in a quieter corner. It made me happy to see that everyone had moved on. The one thing I couldn't figure out was how the hell no one noticed me yet. The thought was a complete jinx. I heard a screech and jumped to find the danger, only to be tackled by a pile of teal dress and blond hair. Damn. Lissa had spotted me.

"ROSE!" She screamed, squeezing the life out of me. I stumbled for a moment before regaining my balance just as we were about to topple over. I choked for air, trying to claw my way out of her grasp. "Oh, Rose! I'm so sorry! I had no idea you were here! I missed you so much! You have no idea how horrible I feel! It was the darkness I promise! I never meant any of it! Rose, oh my gosh, I missed you so much!" She was rambling, hugging me fiercely while I tried to remove her without inflicting pain.

"Can't…breath!" I gasped. She let go immediately, her face clearly showing surprise and guilt.

"Oh, I'm sorry! I just missed you so much. Oh, Rose! I can't tell you how many times I've just needed you to talk or watch stupid movies or shop with. I've missed you terribly. I know it's my fault you left and I feel horrible. Can you please just forgive me? Please! I just need you here again, Rose! Where have you been?" I was overwhelmed seeing Lissa like this. My heart instantly went to war with my head. I hadn't decided whether or not I was going to accept Lissa back into my life if she wanted me back. My heart wanted my sister back dearly, but my head knew better and reminded me how selfish and needy she was. Was I ready to forgive and forget?

I stepped back slowly, putting on my Guardian mask and straightening out my dress. "It's nice to see you, Princess." I added coldly. I knew that if I made nice with Lissa, I'd never leave and I'd get sucked back into Court, into the lifestyle I left behind, and I left it behind for various reasons, not just heartache. I wasn't going to pretend I'd forgotten, nor was I going to forgive so easily. The wounds inflicted all those years ago were still fresh, to me at least and I was still pissed. I couldn't make attachments to Court when I'd already booked my flight out. If I made up with her, I wouldn't be able to bring myself to leave, and I most certainly could not stay. It was a painfully difficult decision, but in the end, I knew it was for the best.

Lissa's face wore a look of shock and rejection. Her eyes welled up in tears as she stepped back to examine me. "Oh." She sniffled, before whipping around and walking away. I sighed, and looked around. The interaction had drawn some attention and I noticed more than a few familiar faces wearing the same shocked faces. Luckily, none close to me really noticed besides Christian, who had his arms full of an upset Lissa. I noticed his cool gaze, anger as well as relief in his ice blue eyes. I tilted up my chin defiantly before taking my seat. I wasn't going to cower in their stares, but thankfully no one dared approach me, for I had a feeling that another confrontation would have me feeling not as tough. They were all content to stare and whisper.

Everyone took their seats and the groomsmen took their places. That's when _he_ walked in. Dimitri. He wore a simple black tuxedo with a black tie. I gazed at him, unable to break my stare. I drank in his features, the same, as they'd always been, his shoulder length brown hair, same chocolate brown eyes that you could lose yourself in forever, that strong, clean-shaven jaw, and his incredible height that he somehow makes graceful. My heart pounded in my chest. Seeing him made me want to cry when I thought of what was to come.

The music started playing and everyone stood. I didn't even bother looking at Naomi. I didn't bother to study her most likely gorgeous self, and start to analyze and compare our every feature. No, I was too entranced with the groom, I was much too captivated by the very thing I'd yearned for since I was 17 years old. The world faded away as I watched him smile. That damn smile. The very smile that lit up my days back at the Academy. The smile that made me swoon. The smile that was procreated at the sight of his bride, at the sight of Naomi. I no longer made him smile. That's when I flicked my stare over to Naomi. That's when a burning jealously erupted inside my body.

She was beyond beautiful. A Moroi with long brown hair, hazel green eyes, and fair, clear skin. Just as I suspected, she looked Russian with rosy, pink lips and high cheekbones. She was tall, somewhere in between 6' and 6'2". Her smile was radiant and I could tell she was beyond happy to be walking down that aisle. I felt a tear drop roll down my face as I realized she was living my dream. She would be the one to possess the very thing that I'd so foolishly squandered. I envied her, but I didn't hate her. It was my own fault that I was hiding in the crowd watching the love of my life get married instead of walking down the aisle myself.

"Are you okay?" Lev whispered in my ear, taking my hand in his. I sighed, unsure how to respond.

"No." I wasn't okay. I was in an inescapable nightmare. I was living my fears. My hope was being mercilessly crushed as I sat there, watching a beautiful woman marry the man of my dreams. My will to live slowly shriveled up and died, my defiant spirit, my reckless passion, my determination and strength crumpled up and blew away in the wind as I waited in the audience for my heart to be completely broken without hope of ever being repaired. She finally made it to the alter and the ceremony began.

Each word was a slap in the face, a stab in the heart, sending chills down my spine. I forced myself to sit and stay calm on the outside for the team, but the coward within me wasn't feeling the team spirit. I felt ripped apart, one half of me glued to my seat in iron determination, the other desperately needing to flee and relieve myself of the heartache. However, I made a promise I was going to keep, at least until Dimitri said his vows.

"Naomi, from the first time I saw you, you've taken my breath away. When we met that night at the bar, I knew that you were different, that you were special. It took me a while to open up, but you saved me. You helped me pick up the pieces and helped me feel whole again, and for that, I am eternally grateful…" He recited his vows gracefully and lovingly. I felt like I was going to puke. She'd helped him through the heartache after I left him. Great. So breaking his heart brought them together. Wonderful.

That's when I could no longer take it. "I'm sorry, but I just… I can't." I whispered to Denis before standing up and shuffling my way out of the aisle, wiping the tears as I went. I had tuned out Dimitri's vows, unable to listen any longer as a way to minimize the damage they inflicted. They hurt too much. I had started walking quickly down the aisle toward the door when I heard his voice peter out and stop. I glanced over my shoulder to see what was the matter. Dimitri was staring at me intensely, eyes wide with shock. I froze, locking eyes with him.

DPOV

I was reciting my vows, I tried to make them sincere and loving, but my mind was elsewhere. As horrible as it sounds, my mind was on Rose. At the Academy, I'd always daydream that I'd marry Rose, and it seemed strange how drastically things had changed and now I was marrying Naomi. I loved Naomi, I truly did, and I was happy with her, but it just wasn't the same. There wasn't that same connection I'd had with Rose. Naomi didn't understand me as intimately as Rose did.

_Old friend, why are you so shy?_

_Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light._

It was as if my thoughts conjured her. At first I didn't believe she was there, and then I noticed the dress. _The_ dress. I noticed the way she walked, the way she carried herself, her hair, the skin, and I knew. I _knew_ it was her. I noticed distantly that I'd stopped my vows. I felt Naomi touch my shoulder and ask me if I was okay. I heard her call my name, but I wasn't really paying attention, I was completely entranced by the one person I'd yearned to hold for the past three years.

"Roza?" The nickname slipped out of my mouth like silk, elegant and soft, a name I'd missed speaking.

I watched her glance over her shoulder. Oh, her face. _So beautiful. _She was captivating. I drank in her features, taking in her long, wavy, black-brown hair, her rosy lips, her tanned, olive skin, and her eyes. Her eyes were the most interesting things about her by far. Yet as I stared into her beautiful, chocolate eyes, I felt a sadness encompass me. They weren't the same as they used to be, full of life and spark. They were dead, lifeless, and devoid of her usual animation. The ferocity and warmth that she used to bask in was missing. Her eyes were absent, and her face contorted with despair. I wanted to run to her and hold her in my arms until that spark returned. I studied her a moment longer, taking in her tear-stained face and smudged make up, making her look even more like a fallen angel. She was a goddess no matter what she was in.

I watched her face turn from despair to panic. "I-I'm sorry. I h-have to go. Congratulations to the both of you." She gave a quick nod toward Naomi before sprinting out of the Church, much like she had the time I'd broken her heart.

Before I realized what I was doing I sprinted after her, leaving Naomi speechless at the alter. At the moment I didn't really give a damn. I pumped my legs as hard as they would go, chasing after her. I watched her stop and rip her heels off and silently thanked God for the delay. She continued running, swerving around groups of Moroi women and men, running aimlessly.

I heard someone scream my name. It was Naomi. Of course she was chasing me. I wondered for a moment how ridiculous we must look, each one chasing the other. I shoved the thought out of my head, storing it for later.

I pushed my legs harder, desperately trying to catch her. I needed to talk to her, to tell her how I felt. I needed to know why she was here, why she was crying, if she was over me, and if she still felt the same way. This time, I wasn't going to let her go.

RPOV

_I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited_

_But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it._

_I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded_

_That for me it isn't over._

"Roza?" His voice was like velvet. The way my nickname rolled off his tongue sent chills down my spine. My heart melted at the use of it, making my want to run into his arms as if Naomi and this entire wedding didn't exist.

The whole world faded away as cheesy as it sounds. I didn't notice literally everyone was staring at us, or Naomi calling Dimitri's name, or even everyone who hadn't noticed my presence, was suddenly made aware of it. All of that was made completely oblivious to me with just a look from those dazzling coffee eyes. I stopped breathing and I felt the entire room hold its breath, waiting for his reaction. Then I remembered exactly where we were and why, and suddenly, it was all too much, the stares, the reveal, the drama, the pressure. I couldn't handle it.

"I-I'm sorry. I h-have to go. Congratulations to the both of you." I stammered out, the tears running before I could finish my sentence. I gave a quick nod to Naomi before sprinting out the door, pausing only to take off my heels. I didn't wait for his answer, I didn't want it, and I certainly didn't need it. I was getting the hell out of here before I regretted coming back anymore. It was a mistake to think I could waltz into his wedding unnoticed and be able to sit through it like an adult. No, I was a fool, once again. What a surprise.

NPOV

I ran as hard as I could for as long as I could. I had long ago ruined my dress and no longer cared. I slowed down and speed dialed my Maid of Honor, my sister, Noel.

"Naomi! Where are you? Where's Dimitri? Who's that girl in the black dress?" She yelled through the phone as soon as she picked up.

"I'm running after Dimitri all over Court trying to catch him. He's running after Rose Hathaway, the girl in the black dress. Rose is Dimitri's ex-lover and broke his heart. Remember the heartbreaker girl I told you about? Yes, this is her." I was fuming, completely mortified.

"Wait a minute. Rose is running away from the wedding. Dimitri is running after her. And you're chasing Dimitri. Correct?" I sighed, Noel could be so irritating.

"Yes! That's what I just told you! What's your point?" I snapped, losing my patience. Today was supposed to be the best day of my life, and now, it was probably the worst.

"The question you need to ask yourself is who is chasing you?" I thought for a moment about what the hell she was trying to say.

"What does that mean?" I hissed, my temper boiling over.

"It means you're not the one, Naomi. Dimitri ran out of that Church for a reason. He ran for love, sis. If he loved you, you'd be married by now. Naomi, he's still in love with Rose. He may not admit it to you, but he is." I froze. It made perfect sense, but I refused to believe it.

"No! No! No! He loves me! He proposed to me! He's marrying _me_!" I screeched. I threw the phone on the ground and started to bawl. I slowly sank to the ground, brought down by the reality that the love of my life had left me at the alter for the girl who broke his heart. I wished I were her. The startling realization that he didn't love me as deeply as I loved him broke my will to chase after him. I knew I couldn't catch him. I knew I wasn't the one, but it didn't mean I was giving up. With that in mind, I wiped away the tears, composed myself, and set out after him once more. I may not be his 'soul mate', but it didn't mean we couldn't be happy together.

RPOV

I could hear him behind me. He was gaining on me, slowly but surely. I didn't know why he was chasing after me, and I didn't want to. I didn't want to hear what he had to say. I was confused and half delirious with overwhelming, intense emotion. I wasn't even sure what the emotions coursing through my body were, but they were enough to pump the adrenaline through my system and keep me sprinting full speed, and that was enough for me at the moment. I could wait until I made it to my apartment to organize and categorize my feelings.

It was top speed up the stairs to my suite, and that's when I realized I didn't have time to open it with a key. I swore aloud, whipping out the key to see if I could try.

"Rose! Rose! Wait!" He called, a half flight of stairs behind me. I sprinted down the hallway, jammed the key and the lock, missing. My hands were shaking and I fumbled with the key, dropping it. I scrambled to the ground, grabbing it.

"Shit!" I cursed, sending a silent 'fuck you' to God or whoever was listening.

"Rose!" He yelled sprinting down the hallway. I had the lock opened and was opening the door to go in when he reached me, slamming the door shut before I could reach safety.

"Stop! Stop running and tell me what's going on!" He yelled, pinning me against the door. I shut my eyes, pretending he wasn't there. "Answer me, Roza. I know you didn't just travel across the globe to go to the wedding. Tell me why you're here." I opened my eyes, deciding to look at the floor. I felt this finger on my chin, tipping it up to get me to look in his eyes, just like he used to. The closeness of our faces took my breath away. I paused for a moment, studying his face as if I hadn't already memorized every detail.

"Tell me." He spoke softly, compelling me with the tenderness of his voice. It was the warmth that I loved and grown to daydream of. It broke my silence.

"I came for the wedding. Nothing more. I got the invitation, so I came. I was curious and I just couldn't help myself. I had to see. I had to make sure you were happy. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come. It was a mistake." He took in my response for a moment, staring at me intensely, as if judging whether or not my answer was true.

"Why are you crying?" I flinched at the concern in his voice, unsure whether or not to tell the truth.

"It was an emotional ceremony." I choked out the lie, disappointed at how fake I sounded. He didn't hesitate to call me on it either.

"Don't lie to me, Roza." I sighed, knowing that I was getting nowhere by lying. He could read me so easily, just as I could read him. We knew each other too well to play games.

"Your vows. They reminded me of us, of what we used to have. They brought back memories, memories I've tried to keep forgotten. They made we realize that you've moved on. You found Naomi, and she seems wonderful. I'm happy for you." I looked away again, unsure of my words once more. I knew I sounded anything but delighted at the moment, in fact, my words seemed contradict the broken, fragile sound of my voice.

"What we _used_ to have, or what we have?" I snapped my gaze to his, meeting his eyes in shock. I didn't know how to answer. What could I say? So I decided on saying nothing at all. He leaned forward, closing the rest of the distance between us. I stood there, pondering the question when my thoughts were interrupted by a sudden explosion of electricity on my lips. He was kissing me. _Kissing_ me. It was the very thing I'd yearned for for the past three years. My imagination hadn't done him justice, his lips meeting my own set my heart on fire, the heat coursing through my veins. It was a passionate kissed, filled with the heartache and sorrow of the prolonged anxiety of being apart. I couldn't think straight. The kiss deepened and I felt my heart speed up, little did I know that we were about to be interrupted.

"Dimitri?" I heard the tiny voice of Naomi, standing wide eyed and looking lost in the entrance to the staircase, like a child, betrayal written all over her face.

"Naomi!" Dimitri jumped back from me, surprise written all over his features. She shook her head, tears starting to form.

"I should've known better. This is my own fault. I should've known you weren't over her, but I guess that's what happens when you fall in love, right? You get hurt. I should've known better! Noel was right, I'm not the one, nor will I ever be. But that's okay. It's okay. It's my own fault." Bitterness encompassed her voice and she continued to shake her head, twisting her engagement ring around her finger before pulling it off. "I won't be needing this anymore." She sighed as she placed it in the palm of his hand.

"Naomi, I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you-" He was cut off by Naomi's hand, gesturing him to stop.

"Please, don't. Just don't." She sighed. Dimitri looked torn as she walked out the door. He didn't know whether or not to go after her or stay with me. I shook my head backing up.

"I'll be right back, I swear. Just, wait here." He exclaimed as he started to run off in her direction. I shook my head.

"No. No, you need to go fix things with her. This right here? It wasn't supposed to happen and it won't happen ever again. Now you need to go and fix things with Naomi. You made her a promise and now you need to honor it. Now go, and don't come back."

"Is that what you want? For me to marry her?" He asked, doubt evident in his voice.

"I'm not the one marrying her. It's your decision. It's not about what I want. It's your life, your choice, and your wedding. I'm just a guest." I tried to extract myself from the situation as much as possible.

"Don't pretend it's that simple. You know it's not. Just please, tell me what you want. Tell me what you're thinking, what your heart is saying." He asked, emotion coursing through his words. I gulped, toying with all the cards in my hand. It was unreal. For once in my life, I had complete control of the situation. It was a very new feeling for me, one that I wasn't sure I liked. "Tell me." He whispered.

I shook my head, frustrated tears spilling. "I can't. I can't tell you. I have to do the right thing. I have to. You're getting married today. You made a commitment. You have to honor that commitment. You promised your hand in marriage to Naomi today and that's all there is to it. You love each other. The end. I will not be the girl that destroys a marriage."

"But I love you. Rose, I love you. I've never stopped loving you. I can't get you out of my mind and when you're gone, I don't feel like me. I don't know what to do but I do know that I love you." Those were the very words I'd wanted to hear since I restored him to his Dhampir state. They were what I dreamed of at night, what I thought of all day, and what I prayed for everyday. But they came with a catch.

_Never mind, I'll find someone like you_

_I wish nothing but the best for you too_

_Don't forget me, I begged_

_I remember you said,_

_Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead_

Kiss him right now, and I destroy a girl's life, I have to figure out what to tell the team, and everyone else, possibly move back to Court, and confront everyone I've been avoiding for the past three years. Walk away, and I leave Court broken hearted and full of regrets. I lost no matter how I chose. However, one choice didn't destroy somebody else's life, and though it was the more painful choice, it was the honorable thing to do. I just couldn't bring myself to be that selfish.

"I'm sorry, but you've made a commitment, a commitment you must honor. Naomi seems like a wonderful girl and I wish you the best of luck in your marriage, if you can convince her to take you back. Now go, and please, don't come back this time. Goodbye, Dimitri." The tears were pouring hard now. He nodded slowly.

"If that's what you want." With that he pulled me to him, giving me one last hug and pressed his lips to my forehead. "I will always love you." He whispered. The tears blurred my vision too much for me to see him walk away. I gasped as I heard the door to the stairs shut, and a hollow pain fill me. I sobbed endlessly, reminiscing on the happy days I had with him. I curled myself into a tight ball, unable to move any further than rocking myself back and forth in front of my door, unable to make it inside.

_You'd know how the time flies_

_Only yesterday was the time of our lives_

_We were born and raised_

_In a summer haze_

_Bound by the surprise of our glory days_

One year. We had had one year of just love. Love and devotion. Now, we had one year of love and three years of heartache, with many more to come. I had given up Dimitri to a total stranger because I couldn't bring myself to be selfish, to finally take what I wanted most. I was a goddamn idiot. Pride was no longer my least favorite trait about me, it was honor.

_Nothing compares_

_No worries or cares_

_Regrets and mistakes_

_They are memories made._

_Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?_

No matter how badly it hurt, I didn't regret it. Not one bit. I cherished my memories with him, they were some of the best memories I had. I didn't have Dimitri, but at least I had the memory of Dimitri. It was better than nothing. It was a gift just knowing that he loved me, but a curse knowing I could never have him, I could never trust him, knowing that I'd given up my happiness for someone else to have. I had done the right thing which gave me peace of mind, but it came with a tremendous price.

_"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,_

_Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."_

I lye there, contemplating whether or not my life was even worth living, or if I should stop cheating death just by breathing and pull the plug. What was the point of living if you had nothing and no one to live for?

**-Ok so that was the most intense UD I've ever done! Over 6,000 words! Yes, you can thank me by reviewing! That took a lot of work people! Reward me! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!**


	15. Poison Apple

12/23/2011

**Okay so I got some AMAZING reviews for **_**Someone Like You**_**! I was pleasantly surprised! For all my reviewers who said that this wasn't RoseXDimitri story I'd like to remind you that this story is about their love, and love is messy. It doesn't always work out perfectly, it's realistic. Thanks again to my reviewers and subscribers! R&R!**

**Poison Apple**

DPOV

I ran outside, the cool night air hitting me, goose bumps tingling my skin. I needed to find Naomi before she officially called the wedding off. I had no idea where she'd run off to, but I'd be damned if I didn't obey my promise to Rose.

Rose. I could tell she was conflicted with her decision, but I was unable to come up with a way to extract the truth from her. I panicked, and now I wasn't sure if I should've gone after Naomi. Rose was obviously trying to do the honorable thing, and it drove me crazy. She was selfless to the point of giving up her own happiness for someone else, even a stranger. I was a mess of emotions and had absolutely no idea what to do.

Without realizing where I was going, I had wandered toward the edge of the protected ground, literally a few yards from the wards. I sighed; maybe a good patrol was what I needed to clear my mind. I had no idea where to find Naomi and honestly, I didn't know if I'd be able to face her at this point. She most likely hated me and I wasn't sure if I could handle that. I cared about her, I truly did, but I didn't love her like I thought I did, Rose had proved just that.

"AAAAAAAAGH!" I ear piercing shriek sliced through the heavy silence. I froze, trying to determine the location of the source. "HELPPP!" It was Naomi and she was close by.

I took off towards her, pushing my legs as hard as they could go. When I finally did find her, it was too late. There were about a dozen Strigoi, marching towards the Palace. I wasn't sure whether or not to attack until I saw one Strigoi, sucking the life out of an unconscious Naomi. Her skin was far paler than it had ever been and she hung limply in his grasp, her chest barely moving as she struggled to inhale and exhale.

I threw myself into motion, going full speed ahead at the Strigoi, ripping him off her and throwing him against the protective wall that encompassed Court. The Strigoi hissed, its mouth smudged with her blood, circling me, trying to get near Naomi. I grabbed her and set her behind me, never taking my eyes off the advancing Strigoi.

I suddenly realized that I would most likely not make it out of this alive. At least I'd die protecting the ones I loved, though I knew that once I was down, Naomi had no chance. I'd die failing, but at least I'd die with honor and courage, something that I'd always hoped for.

I threw myself into action, dodging multiple attacks while trying to deal the same. I took a few blows but blocked most. I had managed to stake three, but I was tired and had already taken a few blows to the head, I could feel the blood oozing out of a forehead wound, that's when when I saw her. She was like an angel of death, charging towards the fight, stake at the ready. Rose.

I felt my heartbeat quicken at the sight of her. Beautiful couldn't properly depict her devastatingly magnificent splendor. She was effervescently gorgeous, but in battle, she was more than that. As I fought I watched her in my peripheral vision, taking in her deadly grace and lethal beauty. She was beautifully deadly, a poison apple.

That's when I saw a Strigoi sneak up on her from behind. I felt my gut twist as I tried to form the words to warn her but it was too little, too late. The Strigoi grabbed her from behind, snapping back her neck and sinking in her teeth. It happened in what seemed slow motion, but took less than a second. Rage embraced me as I quickly dispatched the Strigoi I was fighting and charged the brunette woman who was slowly sucking the life from the love of my life.

RPOV

The sobbing slowly ceased, I had run out of tears. I knew I looked horrible, but I couldn't find it in me to care. I debated whether to go in my room and lay down or go patrol the wards, finally deciding to patrol. If I was going to be miserable I might as well be miserable and useful instead of loafing around like a lump on a log. I was going to appear strong and carefree no matter how awful I felt.

With that, I picked myself up and forced my legs to make their way outside. I sighed; this was going to be the worst patrol ever. I mulled over the night's events as I walked the wards, sticking close to the edge but making sure never to leave the safety of the borders. I pondered how tragic my life really was, and honestly, if I had nothing to live for, was life worth living? I had no charge; I had given up the love of my life, and no honor. I had managed to alienate my best friend, forfeited my lover, and had shirked the motto I had vowed to uphold.

"AGGGHHH!" I froze. "HELLLPPP!" Without a moment's hesitation, I took off towards the screams, thanking the Lord that I had thought to bring my stake. The plea seemed far away, distant, but not too far away that I couldn't help.

I pushed my legs harder, desperate to aid whoever was in need. I didn't know who I was running towards, or what kind of situation I was throwing myself into, but I knew one thing, someone needed help and I'd be damned if I didn't aid them. I listened for any other screams or noise to help me pinpoint the location of the distress. I sprinted along the wards, searching for Strigoi, praying that I'd make it there in time.

What I found scared the shit out of me. Dimitri fighting nine Strigoi, injured and obviously tiring, guarding a half-dead Naomi with teeth marks in her neck. I didn't even hesitate as I came to the rescue. I knew that the odds were against us, but if I died saving Dimitri or Naomi, I'd die peacefully and knowing that I'd done the right, and for me, that was enough.

I threw myself at the closest Strigoi, catching it by surprise and staking it through the back. I had already started fighting the next one when it hit the ground. It went on like this for a while. Dimitri and I fought hard, he guarded Naomi and stayed defensive while I was more offensive and moved around much more, taking on two at a time.

That's when it happened. Things had just started to look up when I was grabbed from the back. I hadn't noticed a brunette girl sneaking up from behind. I struggled for a moment, shocked at how strong she was. I was in no position to move, she had beaten me fair in square. I guess it had never really occurred to me that I could die. She sunk her teeth in and the most peaceful, beautiful bliss showered over me, my worries faded away and everything seemed to be in slow motion. I watched Dimitri stake the Strigoi he was fighting. I heard him scream my name, I tried to open my mouth and tell him I was perfectly fine but for some reason I couldn't make my mouth work. I distantly felt myself be picked up and tossed over someone's shoulder, but I didn't protest. The endorphins kept me docile and high as a kite.

"You're going to be a wonderful addition." It was the brunette Strigoi

talking. I puzzled over her words for a moment before giving up. I was in no way capable of figuring out what she meant, at least not at the moment.

We ran for a while. I wasn't sure where, but the constant jostling slowly pulled me out of the drug-induced haze. I was aware that monsters were abducting me, but she had taken too much blood, and I was too weak to move. I was trapped in my own body. Occasionally I would hear Dimitri yell my name, I knew he was close, but he slowly faded and I could tell I was doomed, he couldn't keep up with the speed and grace of the deadly Strigoi.

I felt a tear slide down my cheek as I realized I was going to die, and this time, there would be no Spirit users to revive me. Dimitri couldn't save me, and the Guardians wouldn't send a search party out for one dhampir who wasn't even a Guardian. I was going to die and I'd never get to do so much. I'd never kiss Dimitri again, or hug Adrian, or go shopping with Lissa, or make fun of Christian. I was so young, there was so much I haven't seen or done. Death was such a disappointment, full of regret. I was going to die at the hands of a Strigoi, at least I'd die for a cause.

Eventually I was thrown in the back of a dark van with my appendages bound so that I could only lie on my side and stare at the inky blackness, unable to make out anything, even with my advanced dhampir sight. I could feel myself drifting off, and as I slowly lost consciousness, I sent a silent prayer to God or any other higher power, that I'd wake up again.

DPOV

Rose's face showed serenity and peace, no signs of struggle or pain. I winced, knowing that it was the endorphins but sick to my stomach anyway. Before I could reach her, two more Strigoi grabbed me, shoving me back and attempting to restrain me. I staked one quickly, it was obviously younger, judging by its sloppy fighting and easy openings. She was probably a human in her past life.

The other, however, was harder. A young, blonde girl, previously a trained dhampir, judging by her fighting style and skill level, and a very old Strigoi, was difficult to stake. I had to put all of my effort and focus to survive. The world around me faded as I focused on each move, each opening, each punch, kick, blow, dodge. It was draining. Finally, my stake hit its mark. I had won.

Immediately I surveyed the area around me, looking for Rose. She was gone. All that was left were twelve bodies, eleven Strigoi and Naomi. I collapsed next to Naomi, checking her pulse. Nothing. Naomi was dead and Rose was missing. I stood up, determined to find Rose. They couldn't have been that far off, could they have?

I raced out of the wards, desperately searching for their trail. I could see a constant splattering of blood on the ground, obviously Rose's. I followed it for what seemed like miles, but it was to no avail. Finally, I reached a trail that led to a street leading into town. The blood trail ended there. They had taken her.

I distantly felt my legs give up from under me as my chest wracked sobs over the loss of my soul mate. I knew that her cause was futile. Tatiana wouldn't send a rescue mission for one dhampir, especially not for a rogue hunter that she particularly dislikes. I had no idea where Rose was being taken, but I knew she didn't have long to live. It was hopeless. She was as good as dead.

The sobs came harder as I thought of how I'd spent my last moments with her. I'd given up on her. Twice. I was a sorry excuse for a man. I thought of her smile, her laugh, her wit and charm, her deadly grace and sarcastic nature. I thought of how much I'd miss her and the tears came harder.

I thought of every beautiful moment I'd had with her, relived them, memorized them, and stored them for later. Dreading having to pick myself back and make my way back to Court. Living without Rose wasn't living at all, it was a pathetic excuse, one that I wasn't sure I could tolerate. What was the point of living if you had no one to live for?

That's when I remembered something. Rose's loyalty to Lissa. It sent a wave of guilt over me. I was sitting here sobbing when I had a charge to protect. Rose wouldn't have wanted me to mope around, she would've wanted me to get up and go do something about it. She would've wanted me to protect Lissa. Already using her in the past tense hurt me and I faltered in getting up, squatting for a moment before raising myself up.

I was going to do something about it. I was going to bring back Rose safe and sound if it killed me. With that single thought of determination, I sprinted off back to Court, brainstorming ideas on how to get a lead on Rose's whereabouts.

**So I realize that it's taken me forever to update. My apologies, I've started school again and I got a facebook (so addicting), so it's been hard to find time to write. I'm going to try and update faster but so far I don't have many ideas for next chapter so REVIEW and give me some ideas to play around with, it'll lead to faster updating so REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! I want to break 200 reviews before I hit 20 chapters! R&R!**


	16. V is for Vendetta

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I got some great ones. Sorry it's taken so long to update. I had finals and school is absolutely insane! Thanks for sticking with me! R&R!**

**V is for Vendetta**

RPOV

I woke with a start. My head was throbbing and I couldn't see a thing. My lips felt cracked and dry as I ran my tongue over them. I felt dizzy and nauseous. I had no idea where I was. It was dark and cold. I couldn't see a thing. I tried to move but I felt something restraining me. Just like in Spokane, my hands and feet were flex-cuffed to a metal chair. I cursed under my breath as I struggled against the annoyingly sturdy plastic.

Suddenly, the lights flicked on. I blinked, seeing spots in my vision as my eye to brain connection tried to catch up with the sudden change of scenery. I flicked my eyes around the room. It was solid white, no decoration at all. It looked incredibly sterile and instantly drove me nuts. I let my gaze wander over to the door where the handle started to turn.

The door swung open with a bang as three Strigoi strode in, two intimidating looking men and one fierce looking woman. Their red eyes gleamed maliciously at me, no doubt pondering how I tasted. I bit back a stream of profanity to find out what the hell was going on.

The woman stepped forward, bending down to eye level, studying me, only inches from my face. I met her gaze defiantly, unwilling to appear weak. Her eyes were a dusky grey, ringed with crimson to mark her as the monster she truly was. Her skin was the trademark chalky white of Strigoi and flawless, minus a smattering of freckles across the bridge of her nose, making the crimson of her eyes more prominent. Her hair was like fire, curling down her back like flames, a shocking contrast to her deathly pale skin. Suddenly, she smiled, bringing my attention to her pearly white fangs protruding from her delicate pink lips.

"Rosemarie Hathaway." She whispered curiously, as if testing out the name on her tongue. It sent chills down my spine.

"What's it to you?" I snapped, tired of her examination. For once in my life, I despised being the center of attention.

"Ooh. Someone wants to play defiant heroine. How cute. Now, listen to me and listen good. My name is Freya Morana and I want something from you and I want it now, and you're going to give it to me or die an excruciatingly painful death along with the promise that I will hunt and destroy everything and everyone you hold dear to your heart. Got it?" Her words were like ice to my heart and I got a funny feeling that I wouldn't be making out of this room alive.

"Sorry, but I'm not interested." I quipped snippily, my tone clipped and polite. If I was going down, I was not going without a fight, whether it was physical or not was currently not my decision.

"Oh but I think you will be. I need information on Vasilissa Dragomir and the Guardians. Now." Her tone was deadpan and I could tell by her body language that patience was not a virtue she beheld.

That's when I started laughing. "You seriously think I'm going to betray my best friend, violate my beliefs and go against everything I've ever been taught to give you information because you tell me to? You have got to be shitting me, woman!"

When my laughter died down, she sighed and started to pace. "Ms. Hathaway I'm not sure what you find so funny about the situation. I can assure you that I was not joking when I asked for that information." She continued to pace and sigh. "I didn't really want to have to do this, Rose, but you give me no choice." She spun around and backhanded me, _**hard**__. _I felt the metallic taste of blood in my mouth as my cheek burned and I bit back tears.

"Maybe now you're interested?" Her voice was cheerful and light, like she was asking me if I wanted seconds at dinner.

"Rot in hell, bitch." _Crack!_ She backhanded me again. I could feel the scarlet blood trickling down my face.

"Now?" I spat at her feet, fixing her with a venomous glare. This continued for what seemed like hours. Punching, kicking, smacking, cutting me relentlessly but I refused. I would not, could not betray Lissa and the guardians like that. It didn't matter if I wasn't a guardian, or that I currently hated Lissa, I refused to backstab them like that. I couldn't.

Finally, after hours of abuse, the sweet grips of unconsciousness dragged me under, temporarily relieving me of the pain. I welcomed the inky blackness as an opportunity to rest before coming up with a plan to escape Freya before she killed me, or worse, turned me.


	17. Final Kiss

**Hey, everyone! I got some really sweet reviews from last chapter. I'd like to thank everyone who stopped and took the time to give me some feedback! It really means a lot! I hope you guys like this chapter! Review review review! Whether you have criticisms or love it, tell me! It improves my writing and gives me confidence to keep going and update more often! R&R!**

**Chapter 17**

Lev's POV

"Rose? Open up! It's dinner time! Let's go!" I called through the door, before banging once more. Denis and Artur stood behind me, restlessly fidgeting, anxious and hungry.

"Rose? Are you okay in there? We just want to see if you're okay. Come on, Rose, open up!" Denis called, pounding on the door before shaking his head and sighing.

"Just let her be. She obviously needs time and honestly, I think she deserves it. I mean, we did put her up to this. Give her some space. We can bring her food later. Besides, we all know how long she can last without food." Artur reasoned. I sighed, defeated and nodded. She had gone through more than enough today without us hounding her to come out to dinner.

"Psh, an hour? If that?" Denis teased. We all started to crack up but the mood swiftly took a sullen turn as we noticed the absence of Rose's melodic laugh in the chorus of chuckles. Everything seemed funnier when Rose was around, and now, she couldn't even make it to dinner for fear of facing her past, for fear of being unable to cope with the pain and grief that afflicted her deeply the second her foot came in contact with the Court's tarmac. It made the joke, like all the others, seem bittersweet. I sighed once more and turned before heading down the hall towards a now dull Italian dinner at some overpriced, snobby, Moroi restaurant. Joy.

We made our way outside when I noticed Belikov sprinting across the grounds at top speed as if there was a giant pack of Strigoi after him. I nudged the boys to look. They paused for a moment before taking off after him, immediately worried as he was headed in the direction of the Guardian headquarters.

We caught him in no time, thanks to Rose's extensive training and laps around the gym which brought a small smile to my face, a smile that evaporated the second I saw Dimitri's face.

"I need to go. I don't have time to talk to you right now." He snapped like we were children. Instantly Denis puffed out his chest like he was going to start something.

"Tell us what's wrong." I stated calmly, pinching Denis's arm to remind him why we were here.

"Rose needs me, she was captured by Strigoi and I'm going to alert the Guardians. Now if you'll excuse me, Rose needs my help." He turned to leave when I grabbed his arm, yanking him back in an iron grip.

"Well then we're coming with. We're her team, her family. She needs our help most." My voice was sharp and hard, leaving no room for argument. He nodded slightly then turned and continued to sprint with us hot on his heels.

We made it to the Guardian Headquarters in seconds though it felt like years as I pondered the likelihood that Rose was still alive. I shook the destructive thoughts from my mind as we rushed into the Head Guardian's office.

The man sitting at the desk had a pinched expression on his face as he gazed at us sourly, stopping his work to fix his sharp eyes on our sudden entrance.

"What now?" He snapped, switching to a full on disapproving glare, flicking his gaze between the four of us.

DPOV

"I'd like to request permission to form a rescue team, sir." I spoke solemnly, hoping he wouldn't ask questions but knowing it was impossible. I knew Hans didn't like Rose, and I knew he wouldn't send a rescue team for one non-guardian dhampir, but I could hope, because in this moment, I knew it was all I had.

"Was there a Moroi taken? A Moroi taken from Court? Vasilissa is going to kill me! Unless it was Her Majesty that was taken!" I could see Hans start to go off the deep end. I didn't have time for this! Every second we were delayed was another second Rose was in danger, closer to death.

"No, sir. A dhampir. Rosemarie Hathaway." I watched him freeze as the name rolled off my tongue. He turned and looked me straight in the eyes.

"Guardian Belikov, may I remind you our policy on rescue missions. All kidnapped persons are proclaimed dead unless their whereabouts are known. Now, do you know the location of Ms. Hathaway?" He sneered. I felt about ready to break his jaw.

"No." I stated coolly, struggling to keep my composure, my rage far past its breaking point.

"Well then we have our answer. Unless a Royal was taken or a large group, no rescue team will be put together. One missing non-Guardian dhampir with a bad attitude and a lack of responsibility is not worth possible casualties. I'm sorry for your loss." With that, he turned on his heel and made his way out of his office and down the hall. I started to pace, Rose's team looked pissed.

Suddenly, the anger was just too much, I turned and punched the wall, leaving a gaping hole where my fist had connected.

"Бог, проклятый это! Тот гребаный ублюдок!" I yelled at nothing in particular as I turned and continued to pace.

"Согласованный." One of Rose's team answered. I froze for a moment before realizing my stupidity. Of course they could understand me, they were native Russians as well.

"Извините мой язык." I mumbled, embarrassed at my foul mouth.

"Excuse us, we're going to go do something productive to help Rose." I froze and thought a moment as they filed out of the office.

"Wait. Let me come with you. I want to help." I looked at each of their faces, pleading with my eyes, my anger dissolved. "пожалуйста. Я могу помочь." I added, knowing my next plan of action.

"Keep up." The one with jet-black hair and stormy brown eyes snarled in a thick Russian accent.

"I have a plan. If Hans won't let us form an official rescue team, we'll form our own without formal permission. I know a few guardians who can help. Let's go." I headed out of the guardian headquarters and straight for the gym, knowing exactly who to ask for help.

"Guardian Castile!" I called as I flung open the gym door. He spun around, setting down his weights.

"Can I help you?" The second his eyes laid on me his playful demeanor changed to one of alert concern. "What's wrong? Is it Lissa?" I shook my head. He seemed to relax a small bit.

"It's Rose." His eyes widened. "She's been kidnapped by a few rogue Strigoi. Hans won't let us form a rescue team so we're making our own. Are you coming?" I knew it was a stupid question, but it was necessary to ask.

"Of course, let's call Mikhail."

Twenty minutes later we were in Adrian's suit in Royal Housing. He was asleep, trying to make contact with Rose to see if she was unconscious. There were eight of us; Lissa, Christian, Janine, Adrian, Abe, Eddie, Mikhail, and myself. We had confirmed that she was still alive. Lissa had been able to feel the bond, so we knew for a fact that she was still alive. Adrian was trying to enter her dreams but had had no such luck so far.

I paced the room, sat in the armchair, stood up, and continued to pace. I could hear the clock ticking. _Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. _Every sound of the clock sent a wave of panic through me, wondering if that was the last second Rose would ever have. My mind was reeling, scrambling for answers that I didn't have. The only thing I knew for sure, the only thing that kept me sane, was our last kiss, specifically the fact that Rose kissed me back. She did love me, and that, that single thought, well, I'd do absolutely anything to keep it alive, and that's exactly what I planned to do, no matter the consequences.

**So I realize how much I suck as an author right now. I had absolutely NO IDEA how to write this chapter but I did it for my awesome reviewers so be a good person and brighten my day with reviews! I seriously need the encouragement. School has been absolutely **_**insane!**_** So…love me and review. REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!**

Russian Translations:

Бог, проклятый это! Тот гребаный ублюдок! - God damn it! That fucking bastard!

Согласованный - Agreed

Извините мой язык - Excuse my language.

пожалуйста - Please

Я могу помочь - I can help


	18. Written in the Skin

**Thanks to everyone who has been patient and reviewed, even though I haven't been updating as often! Also, I'm starting a new story based on my own life called **_**Think Twice.**_** It's a teen girl drama, so if you like **_**Gossip Girl**_**, **_**It Girl**_**, or **_**The Confessions of Georgia Nicholson**_**, you'll enjoy it. I'd really appreciate you checking it out! Thanks again and I hope you enjoy this chapter! Make sure to REVIEW!**

**Written in the Skin**

APOV

It was incredibly frustrating. I searched for her aura, focusing on her as best I could, but it was hard when there were so many eyes on me. I couldn't think straight with all the pressure.

_Relax, Adrian. You can do this. _I told myself, hoping that I could force the focus required to dream walk. I took a deep breath, centering myself before tapping into the spirit. Once I felt the magic flowing, I switched my attention to Rose. My mind procured her image, giving me butterflies in my stomach.

I specifically thought of her hair, those silky, shiny, black-brown waves. I remembered how I'd always used to play with it, twirling it into little ringlets whenever we talked.

I felt my energy begin to dwindle, and still no sign of Rose. She wasn't asleep. We were stumped. I began to let the magic go, giving up for now to save my strength when I felt the tug of the dream, pulling me back under. I imagined standing in my grandmother's garden, thinking it would be a nice, quiet place to find out where she was.

"Adrian!" I turned around, my eyes widening with surprise when I took her in. I froze. It was bad… really bad. She ran to me, wrapping her arms around me as best she could.

"Rose…" I croaked, trying to form a sentence but failing, finding myself entranced by her grotesquely abused form.

"Is Dimitri okay? Did he make it out?" She asked, her face full of desperation and fear. I'd never seen her so fragile. Rose would never admit her true feelings, but now, her guardian mask was down and her face easily readable. It was an obvious sign that things were worse than they appeared, if that was even possible.

"He's fine. He's sitting right next to me. Rose, where are you? He says you were taken by Strigoi?" I prayed he was mistaken, but I knew by the way she looked down, deflated, that it was no lie.

"Look, Adrian, I don't think I'm going to be able to make it out of this one. I'm hurt pretty badly," She had changed her appearance as soon as I'd noticed her, trying to hide the damage, but the image of her wounds was burned into my memory, there was no forgetting that, "Just please, tell everyone that I love them, and to please, don't come after me. I'm nervous, Adrian. I think this is all part of some scheme. If I don't give them the information, they're going to turn me." My blood boiled at that. "And if that happens, I don't want any of you anywhere near me. I don't want anyone at risk in case I do get turned. I'd never be able to forgive myself if that happened. I can't stand the thought of it. Just please, tell them to give up on me. I'm not worth your lives being at risk because I was stupid enough to try and take on twelve Strigoi with only Dimitri as back up." She sighed, meeting my eyes with a pained look.

I stood there, shocked at her request. "You really think we're just going to leave you there for dead, or worse? You can't bare the thought of hurting us, but none of us can bare the thought of leaving you to be tortured. God Rose, what kind of people do you think we are? Do you know how many people are sitting next to me having anxiety attacks at the thought of a Strigoi laying a hand on you? There are more than you think. How could you even ask that?"

I knew she was trying to be the brave heroine who dies to save the ones she loves, but to be honest, I always found those characters in the movies the dumbest. I guess it was part of my character to be selfish and irresponsible, I just couldn't understand how one could give up their very life for another. Then, it hit me. I could. If I could, I would trade places with Rose. I would rather die and keep her safe, than try and live without her.

"Please, Adrian, don't make me beg. If I get turned, I'll do my best to steer clear of the Academy and Court. I'll go to Russia or somewhere secluded, far away from harming any of you. If I'm lucky, they'll kill me. It's a slim chance, though; when I was taken I heard them say something about how I'd make a great addition to the team, or something like that. I'm not quite sure though, I was pretty groggy from the bite." I couldn't believe what I was hearing! She was hoping for death!

"They bit you?" I asked, unable to recognize the growl that escaped my lips. She nodded, blushing, as if she was to blame. I turned, punching a trellis covered in roses.

"God damn it!" I yelled as blood leaked from cuts in my knuckles. "What else did the do to you?" I demanded, I needed to know how much longer she had.

"Adrian-" She tried to brush it off, as if it was nothing, but I refused to let her minimize it.

"Don't lie to me, Rose. I saw your body before you hid it with this illusion. If you won't tell me, show me." I altered her appearance so it matched the image from my memory. She looked away, before nodding, changing the scenery.

It morphed into a small, white concrete room with no windows and one door. Rose and I stood in the corner, watching Rose's memory play out from a third person perspective. It was horrifying. The lead Strigoi, Freya, was merciless, slashing dream-Rose's body endlessly, before moving on to dislocating both her shoulders, then punching, leaving her nose broken, and finally, breaking bones. I winced as she was thrown hard on the floor, her left leg finally giving out and snapping. Rose, noticing my discomfort, waved the memory away.

"Stop! I need to know the rest." As much as it pained me, I needed as much information as possible to report back.

"I black out soon after, then you came." She explained nonchalantly, as if we were discussing the news.

"What else happened?" I demanded, knowing Rose was keeping something from me by the way she averted my gaze. I lifted her chin, forcing her to look at me, "Tell me." I whispered softly, as if coaxing a child.

"Then, she bit me, as did the other two." It was like someone had punched me in the gut. The air in my lungs vanished as I imagined three Strigoi sucking the life out of her. A tear escaped down my cheek, but I had no shame. What had happened to such a loving, brave, beautiful woman was beyond cruel and horrific. "Awful" seemed unable to fully encompass the sadistic torture that Rose had endured. The fact that she was alive was a miracle itself, and I intended it to stay that way.

I felt the dream start to slip away, the garden started to fade, "You're waking up. Stay safe. We're coming for you." I whispered, pressing my lips to her bruised cheek as I opened my eyes, bringing me back to reality.

RPOV

I woke to crimson eyes, studying me intently. "Glad you could join us, Rosemarie." Freya snarled.

"The feeling isn't mutual." I snapped, unwilling to surrender my sarcastic remarks, though it may be wise in the current situation.

"What a shame. Now, are you ready to talk?" She asked cheerfully, giving me a sadistic smile, revealing her lethal fangs, each and every word dripping with venom.

"Over my dead body." I regretted the words as soon as they came out. Usually, that retort had bite to it, especially because of my lethal reputation, but when a Strigoi is torturing you in their basement for information, mentioning your death may not be the best way to go.

"Oh, Rosemarie, I thought we already established that option, though it'd be quite a shame, considering I was toying with the idea of giving you the gift of immortality." She leaned in, whispering it in my ear, sending chills down my spine.

"I'd rather die." I yelled, struggling to break free from the zip ties restraining me from kicking the shit out of this bitch.

"Rose, Rose, Rose…. you don't have a choice." She snapped before back handing me once more. "Let me give you a piece of advice, you filthy blood whore. When I tell you to give me information on the Guardians and Princess Dragomir, _you do it_." She screamed, gritting her teeth as she smacked me once more. I decided playing dead was my best option. Unfortunately, Freya didn't seem to care whether I was conscious or not.

She stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her. I sighed in relief, happy to be alone. I heard footsteps outside me door and froze, slumping in my chair once more. The door slammed open and before I knew who it was, a bucket of ice was being chucked onto me. My eyes widened in surprise, as Freya turned to slam the door shut, giving me a short glance at a long hallway of doors outside my little cell.

"You will _not_ go to sleep without my permission, understood? You pass out and you get another bucket of ice thrown on you. Now, are you going to talk or does the little blood whore need to be taught a lesson?" She growled, giving me a menacing glare.

"Well…" I started, getting her attention, "I'm not really in a chatty mood, maybe come back tomorrow?" I watched her face darken at my sarcastic comment.

"Then lets see if we can loosen that tongue." I prepared myself for another round of punches that would hopefully lead to the sweet bliss of unconsciousness, but no, she had another idea on her mind, one I was sure I wouldn't like as I watched her whip out her switch knife.

"Maybe we should give you a little reminder of your place in this world." She chirped, grabbing my right forearm. She made a little cut in a straight line across my top of my forearm, earning a wince as the blood oozed out of the wound. She continued to make a series of small cuts on my arm, I was in too much pain to open my eyes and see what exactly she was doing. They were small cuts, but they were deep, and would definitely scar.

"All done." She snipped. I looked at the spot she had cut, taking in the word '_bloodwhore'_ cut into my arm with teary eyes. It took all of my self-control to not scream in pain. The pain was excruciating. I squeezed my eyes shut as she started to cut into my left calf. I didn't bother checking what she had branded on my skin with the switch, I focused solely on keeping my mouth shut. I refused to scream. I refused to let her know how much it hurt, at how successful her tactic to break my will really was. I refused to satisfy her need to see me weak. Every Strigoi wanted two things: moroi blood and power, and my fear and screams would give Freya just that, the feeling of being powerful.

Eventually, the cutting stopped, the punches slowed, and Freya was still. I opened my eyes, barely able to focus on her face through the pain.

"You better talk tomorrow, Rose, or I may feel the need to reward your strength, and I have a feeling you'll just _love_ what I have to offer." Her words dripped with sarcasm and venom, making me shiver. I didn't have the nerve or will to respond. She leaned forward and bit me, drinking deeply for a moment before leaving me to suffer as I waited the waves of blackness to pull me under. I didn't have to wait long. My last thought before I closed my eyes was one of despair. _Dimitri._

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	19. Direction

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**Direction**

JPOV

My little baby girl had been taken. Taken on my watch at the gates. I'd never be able to forgive myself if she didn't make it out of this alive. I paced the room, anxiously awaiting the news from Adrian.

"Janine, sit down. You're wearing a hole in the carpet." Abe chastised, trying to get me to calm down. I shot him my fiercest glare, but it was useless. Abe was fearless, just like Rose. There was no point in even trying to scare him into shutting up, so I sat, jiggling my leg, trying to relax and failing miserably.

I noticed Dimitri in the corner looking like he wanted to die. I was curious as to why he was so choked up over the loss of Rose. Sure, he should be upset that his student is in danger, but by the way he looked at his feet, close to tears, I had a feeling that their student/teacher relationship wasn't just that.

As I studied Dimitri, Adrian began to stir, slowly coming back to us. I did not have the patience to watch him slowly stretch and yawn while he awoke from his little catnap. I shook him, waking him up immediately. Every second counted, and I just didn't have time for this.

"Easy! Easy! No need for that!" He whined, rubbing his shoulders where I had grabbed him. I rolled my eyes.

_Pussy_, I thought, giving him a scary look, but he was unfazed and flashed me the signature Ivashkov smile.

"Enough. Did you contact Rose?" Abe demanded, taking a seat in front of him and looking very much like a pissed off interrogator.

"Yes, I did. She has no idea where she is. They have her zip tied to a chair in an all white, little, concrete room with no windows and one door. Outside her room there's a long hallway with rows of doors along each side. She knows of three Strigoi that come to torture her, but she assumes there's many more, considering she doesn't recognize any of them from her kidnapping. The leader's name is Freya Morana, and she wants information on Lissa and the Guardians, information that Rose refuses to give, so they torture her." I took a sharp intake of breath, thinking of the pain Rose was enduring just to keep Lissa safe.

Eddie turned and punched the wall, leaving a large hole in the drywall. I hadn't expected that reaction from stoic Eddie. It took me a moment, but I finally recalled how he'd been taken and tortured with Rose, Christian, Mia Rinaldi, and Mason Ashford, though Mason was killed as they were trying to escape. I remembered how they were tied up with zip ties as well, preventing them from easy escape. The similarities between the two must be killing Eddie.

He turned back, his face damp with tears that he quickly dried. "How bad is she?" he asked, he voice wavering.

"She showed me. I made her show me everything they did to her, like it was a movie, and I'll be scarred for life. It was horrible what they did to her. I…" He paused, as if deliberating whether or not to tell us the truth, "I don't think she's going to last much longer." He murmured, sending Lissa into hysterics. She bent over, clutching her stomach, sobbing. Christian attempted to console her, but it was useless, Lissa had lost it.

"Did she say anything else?" Dimitri asked, hopeful.

"She told me to tell you guys to stop looking for her, to give up on her. She thinks she'll be turned if she doesn't tell them, and she doesn't want us to be there if she does get turned. She wants us to stay safe, as far away from her as possible. She said that if she's lucky, they'd kill her quickly, instead of forcing her to become a monster." I lost it, sobs wracked my body as I put my head in my hands, leaning over my news and letting the tears fall to the floor.

Dimitri stormed out of the room, not even bothering to close the door behind him. By the looks on everyone's faces, they were just as distraught. I took a deep breath, wiped my tears away, and followed him, intent on finding out why he was so upset.

DPOV

I was lost. I no longer knew what to do. Without Rose, I was incomplete, completely useless. We had no idea where she was, we had no plan of action to rescue her because we didn't know her location, and to top it all off, their leader was one of my old friends, Freya. She had gone to St. Basil's Academy with Ivan and I. She was funny, smart, and kind, and we'd become fast friends. I remember how I'd asked her to my first dance at school. She had been a dhampir girl training to guard her best friend, Izolda, one of the few, especially around that part of Russia where most women became 'bloodwhores' and joined dhampir communities, letting the dhampir males do the guarding.

The news of her turning shook me, she had been a talented guardian, fierce and strong, just like Rose. I assumed Izolda dead or Strigoi, since Freya refused to leave Izolda's side. They reminded me of Rose and Vasilisa, which scared me more than I wanted to admit.

"Guardian Belikov!" I whipped around to find Guardian Hathaway storming towards me. This was odd, Rose had always said her mother wasn't one to show much emotion or care.

"What can I do for you, Guardian Hathaway?" I asked, trying to be polite in my distress.

"You can tell me what exactly is going on between you and my daughter." She growled, making it very clear that I was to tell her _immediately_.

"I'm not sure you want the answer to that, Guardian Hathaway." I looked at my feet, uncomfortable. I didn't want to be the one to tell Janine that I'd broken her daughter's heart.

"You can call me Janine. Now, spit it out." She demanded. I sighed, this was not going to be pretty.

"Right, Janine. Well, I guess I should start from the very beginning. I was the one to bring Rose and Vasilisa back to St. Vladimir's Academy…" I went on to tell her the story of how we fell in love, trying to avoid our encounter in the cabin as much as possible before lightly brushing over the fact. She raised an eyebrow at that, giving me her best 'if-my-daughter-didn't-love-you-you'd-be-so-dead-right-now' glare. I kept going, all the way up to how she saved me from my undead state.

"She left not long after that. Why?" She asked. I sighed deeply, completely unenthused at the prospects of telling Janine exactly how I'd mercilessly torn her daughter's heart out.

"When I came back from my undead state, I didn't think I was capable of love. I was disgusted with myself for everything I'd done as a Strigoi, and so I alienated myself from everyone I'd hurt as a Strigoi, which was Rose. I pushed her away, because being around her reminded me of everything I'd done to her. I told her that I was incapable of loving, but still, she stood by me, doing everything she could to help me, so I told her that my love had faded, and that, that broke her, so she left. It took me until the day I was told of her leaving that everything I'd done to push her away was a mistake. I was a coward and shied away from the love I felt for Rose, and it cost me. I regret it with every fiber of my being." I was sincere, but timid, awaiting her reaction, and counting on it to be violent.

To my surprise, she nodded. I blinked, astonished at her non-violent reaction. Was Janine really accepting our relationship this easily? "Okay." she said as she took a deep breath, taking it all in.

"That's it? No punches? No killing? No fight?" I asked, shocked.

"No. There's no need for it. You're both in love, obviously, it's not my job to kill you, that would be Abe's. I'm just happy that Rose found someone to love. She's only 20 years old, and her life has been fuller than my 38 years, and now, now there's a good chance it may end, and I'm just glad she had someone, especially since I wasn't." I watched as the tears rolled down her cheeks.

"There's no need for tears, we're going to find her. We have to find her." I sighed, deciding on going back to the suite. We needed a plan, and fast.

Lissa's POV

The tears weren't helping. I still felt the hole of Rose's absence. It was the scariest thing I'd ever felt, scarier than Victor taking me, or staking Strigoi-Dimitri, or even when Rose slapped me. Losing Rose was like losing part of my soul, and that's when it clicked.

I shot up, my tears immediately stopped. I had an idea. When Rose was gone, I had tried to use the bond to find her, hoping she was close. The Strigoi that had taken her wouldn't have taken her too far, she was unconscious the entire ride, but you can only be out for so long unless you're in a coma.

The bond wasn't two-way, but I'd always been able to find Rose in a crowded room. I had an uncanny sense of the bond and Rose's proximity to my location. I could tell how far away she was, and a sense of which direction to look to find her. It wasn't much, but I was sure I could find her. However, if I tried to locate her aura, it would go much faster. All I needed to do was feel the bond. It was like a Spirit induced bondmate GPS system. I almost laughed with joy.

"What's going on, Liss? Did you figure something out?" Christian asked as everyone stared. I nodded, my face lighting up as I started to feel Rose's aura.


	20. Believe

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**Believe**

Lissa's POV

"I can feel her! She's still alive!" I squealed, delighted by the knowledge of my best friend's survival.

"Can you find her?" Adrian asked, perplexed by the bond's many uses. The entire room was captivated, each fixating their curious eyes upon my focused face. For me to feel the bond it took a higher level of focus and effort. The bond was only meant to go one way, so locating her would take a tremendous amount of focus, and may even be impossible, especially when she's this far away. I had a feeling I was stretching the limits with this, but anything was worth a shot when it came to bringing Rose home safe.

I refocused my efforts, desperately grasping at the loose ties of the invisible rope that tethered our minds together, forcing all of my energy into a task that Rose found so easy, it was like second nature for her. I slowly felt her presence, somewhere to my left, but it was gone in a second, leaving me grappling with the rope once more, trying to regain lost ground.

"I can feel her, she's to my left, but it's not enough to locate her." My eyes snapped open, refocusing on the nervous group of Rose's loved ones in front of me.

"God damn it!" Adrian swore, punching the wall behind him. My temper flared, what the hell did he expect from me? I'd never had to practice using the bond like this before! How was I supposed to even know what to do? It was a miracle in itself that I'd been able to feel her general direction at all! Normally the bond was strictly one way, but I'd been able to manipulate it to my own uses.

However, the frustration of the failure set in as I realized we had no other ideas of finding Rose. Time was running out, and if we didn't act soon, Rose's fate would be set. That's when it hit me. Fate.

_Fate!_ I shot up from my seat, dashing out the door to go find the only two people that could help me, or more specifically, help Rose. I needed Ambrose so that I could go see Rhonda. Rose may not be a believer, but I was open to anything at this point.

I rushed to the spa, the gang behind me. I had a feeling Adrian knew where we were going. On the way into the spa I caught sight of Ambrose, chatting with a pretty Moroi girl who ran the front desk.

"Ambrose!" I sigh in relief, glad that he was here. He turns toward me and his face lit up, opening his arms to embrace me.

"Lissa! How good to see you! Is there something wrong? You don't look well." He says, a look of concern washing over his face.

"It's Rose. She's been taken by Strigoi and we need to find her before it's too late. Can you get us in to see Rhonda? I wouldn't ask unless it was absolutely necessary." I begged, silently pleading with my eyes. Ambrose's eyes widened in shock at the news before nodding and taking off in the direction of Rhonda's.

RPOV

I could hear her coming. My stomach dropped and I looked at the words carved into my flesh. _Bloodwhore. Weak. Traitor. _They were constant reminders of my biggest fears and insecurities. I may be Rose Hathaway, but I wasn't invincible. I didn't want to be the weak one, but being captured so easily by Strigoi for the second time had me doubting my abilities as a Guardian. If I ever got out of this, would I even be capable to guard Lissa? I shuddered at the thought of being assigned to a different Moroi, or even worse, being dismissed as a guardian.

_Traitor. _Freya was demanding information. _Demanding it. _I knew I shouldn't give it to her, but I was dangerously close to my breaking point, and today was my last day to talk before she turned me. If I didn't start talking, I was _screwed._ I just hoped she would lose control and kill me before she had the chance to turn me.

As I sat there, contemplating my fate, the door slammed open. "Good morning, Rosemarie." Freya clomped into the room in stacked heels and a tight dress. "I hope you're feeling talkative!" She sing-songed as she walked up to my chair.

"Not a chance, might as well kill me now." Honestly the banter over the last few days was beyond tired, in my opinion, however, Freya seemed to enjoy my sarcasm and wit.

"A death wish? My, aren't we desperate? Dear, dear Rosemarie. I'm not going to all this trouble to kidnap you and then kill you off when you refuse to talk! How silly! No, I think I have a _much_ better plan. How does immortality sound?" Her voice was disgustingly chipper, I wanted to rip her vocal chords out for even attempting to talk to me like I was 4-years old.

"Fuck off. I'd rather die 100 times over than be turned to join you. Go rot in hell, bitch." I kept my voice level and frosty, trying to intimidate her with my fearless façade.

She leaned in, a smirk on her face, inches from my face, studying me with her cold, red eyes.

"Wrong answer." She whispered in my eyes as she bit into my neck.

LPOV

"You're late! I've been waiting for days!" Rhonda exclaimed as she sat cross-legged on the floor across her red room. She shot us a disapproving glare but stood to greet us. "Time is running out. If you came any later it may have been too late. Now come!"

It never failed to amaze me how she knew we were coming and what for. I sat next to Christian, gripping his hand tightly, seeking comfort in his touch.

"Rose was taken and we-" I was cut off by Rhonda's annoyed tone.

"I know why you are here and what your circumstances are. I will help you, but you must cooperate and most of all, you must have faith in my abilities and ways. Understood?" We all nodded.

"Good, now, which one of you is closest to Rose, or has the most memories and connection to Rose?" Rhonda studied each one of us curiously for a moment.

I didn't want to admit it, but I felt this was a task for me. "The Princess does." I was shocked to hear Dimitri's voice from the back of the room. I turned to meet his eyes, taking in his sad expression, and giving him a reassuring smile.

"Very well." Rhonda spoke briskly, pulling out a map of the state and a crystal on a leather rope. She laid the map out on the table, smoothing it out before handing me the crystal.

"Now, dangle the crystal over the map and think of Rose. This crystal is charmed and holds the power to find what is lost, but to work, you must do two things. First, you must focus on thoughts of the person you are looking for. Anything will work, but try to evoke a strong emotion when thinking of the person or memory, something stronger than loss. Second, you must believe. The crystal only works for genuine believers. If you don't believe, it won't work. Can you do that, Princess?" She asked, her ton serious and face composed.

"I think so." I sighed, shutting my eyes and focusing on memories with Rose. Oh, there were so many.

"Be specific, physical appearance usually works best." Rhonda coached me and I conjured a picture of Rose in my head, her olivey skin, black-brown hair, full, pink lips, and chocolate brown eyes. I thought of the time we dressed as fairies for Halloween in Portland, the day we ran away, the day she slapped me, when she left me to find Dimitri, the night Ms. Karp found us in the woods, the accident, among swarms of memories that flooded my mind as I thought of my best friend.

I felt the leather cord sway in my hands, but the crystal didn't pin point a location on the table. I opened my eyes.

"It didn't work." I whispered, disappointment knocked the wind out of me. I felt deflated, hopeless, and utterly devastated.

"You long for her, yes?" I nodded, "Is it your dominating emotion when you think of her?" I nodded once more. "Then let someone else give it a try. Who is the next closest to her?"

"Dimitri." I didn't hesitate at calling his name. I knew he loved her, and I knew for a fact their love was strong, even if Rose denied it, even after all this time. As I met his gaze, I knew he was determined to find her, and I trusted him to get the crystal to work. He was the better choice to do this, and I prayed to God he'd do it quickly. Rose's time was running out.

DPOV

I had always believed in psychics. Growing up my grandmother, Yeva had been what one would call psychic. I had seen my grandmother do this trick when I was young to find a lost child.

I sat down in front of the map, taking the leather cord with the crystal from the Princess. I turned toward Rhonda.

"You are a strong believer. Your grandmother?" I nod noticing how her eyes resemble Yeva's when she's up to something.

"Are you ready?" I nod once more, shutting my eyes. "Now procure an image of Rose in your mind." Immediately my mind flips to an image of Rose in the cabin, my strongest memory of her.

"Keep it appropriate." She snaps. I hear Christian snickering in the back round, but I ignore it, refocusing myself on a more appropriate memory. For some reason, I choose the memory of when Rose snuck into my cell to visit me when I was first turned. She had come from a Moroi masquerade memorial for the Queen's lost guardians and close friend.

"Be specific, don't let your mind wander." Rhonda advises. I replay the scene in my head.

_"Dimitri." No. No. No. No. The sound of her voice threw my mind into overload. I couldn't move, think, speak, breath. I was completely in awe of her voice, but I wanted to see her. My body was at war with itself. My mind told me to stay put and ignore her, but my heart told me to run to her, to find comfort in her touch, to embrace my second chance. I was frozen, unable to make a decision._

_ "Dimitri." Once again the sound of her voice sent me into shock. The only thought, the only feeling that could make me respond was guilt. It was an ugly feeling, a terrible, consuming feeling, but it made up my mind, it silenced my heart, and it was all I needed to make my decision. "It's… Me." _

_ I almost laughed. As if I hadn't known whom it was immediately. I knew her too well. I'd know her voice anywhere. I knew everything about Rose, the sound of her breathing when she sleeps, the sound of her heartbeat, the way her brow furrows when she thinks, the smell of her shampoo. I had memorized every detail of Rose, but it was different now. It had all been ruined by studying her for weeks as a Strigoi. Everything about her, all of her quirks, had been ways to take advantage of her, to try and seduce her to become Strigoi. It turned admiring her beauty, bittersweet. _

_ I shivered, horrified at the memories. The guilt consumed me once more and it took me a moment to respond. "No." It was all I could come up with, my mind was still in overload at her presence. _

_ "No what?" She asked. "As in, no, it's not me?" I sighed in frustration. Rose had always been difficult, using her own Rose-logic to twist everything I said and annoy me. This was no exception. It reminded me of our many practice sessions. It almost brought a smile to my lips. Almost. _

_ The guilt won out. "No, as in I don't want to see you." Her presence, it was overwhelming, too many triggers, too many memories and reminders. It was too much to handle this early. There were too many conflicting opinions and emotions, I was unable to try and figure them out with her this close to me. "They weren't supposed to let you in." I had done my best to do damage control by not letting Rose in. I knew she'd want to see me, she had always been a passionate person, but she deserves better than a broken man who has killed innocents, and I was determined to give her that chance._

_ "Yeah, well I kind of found a work-around." Surprise. Rose found a work-around. She always did. She was the best at doing the impossible. _

_ "Of course you did." It killed me not seeing her, but I knew if I turned around I would cave in. Her voice already affected me deeply, putting a face to that voice would be 10 times worse. Rose was devastatingly beautiful, I already knew that. _

_ "I had to see you. I had to know you were okay." I felt a sad smile play across my lips. Even through all I'd put her through, she stilled cared about my wellbeing. Her capacity for compassion and understanding was beyond my level of comprehension. How could one person be so perfect?_

_ I didn't deserve her. "I'm sure Lissa's been giving you updates." I awaited her Rose-logic, knowing her response already._

_ "Well, I had to see for myself." I had predicted correctly, and I had a feeling where she was going with the conversation. I took another deep breath, trying to keep my temper in check._

_ "Well, now you see." She had to leave. Now. I was losing control. _

_ "All I see is your back." I sighed, once again I was right. I had no response to that. I wanted to let myself be with her, but I couldn't. The inner conflict was a mess of emotions, memories, and confusion. I was overwhelmed by her powerful presence._

_ "I don't want you here. I don't want to see you." I kept my voice level and devoid of emotion. If I could convince her I couldn't love, she'd eventually give up and finally give Adrian Ivashkov a chance. Rose paused and I awaited her answer. I knew she wouldn't give up that easily. It wasn't in her nature. _

_ "You can't ignore me. You owe me. I saved you." I took another deep breath. She was going into danger zone and I wasn't sure I was ready to talk about that yet. _

_ "Lissa saved me." I said carefully, waiting for her explosion. I wanted to avoid Rose as best I could and admitting she saved me would let her back in my life._

_ "How do you think she got to that point?" She demanded, "__How do you think she learned how to save you? Do you have any idea what we-what I-had to go through to get that information? You think me going to Siberia was crazy? Believe me, you haven't even come close to seeing crazy. You know me. You know what I'm capable of. And I broke my own records this time. You. Owe. Me." Her words were harsh and unforgiving. I had no idea I was breaking my rule until I had whipped around to face her, fury burning within me. _

_ "Then the best thing I can do is-" I froze. Time slowed as my eyes took in her face. I felt my eyes widen as I gasped in awe at her stunning beauty. It was the first time I'd seen her since I'd been turned. It was like waking up from a dream. She was no longer an object to own but a beauty to withhold. _

_ I drank in her features, taking in her long, black-brown hair that curled into loose ringlets at the ends, her perfectly tanned skin that set my hands on fire whenever we touched, her clear, chocolate brown eyes that churned with emotion, but as a whole, she was much more beautiful. The sight of her brought on so many emotions that I'd completely forgotten what I was planning to say. I took a mental image of her, my avenging angel of darkness, for my own personal form of torture. I was highly masochistic. _

_ It took me a moment, but I finally recalled the words I had been planning on saying before I caught sight of the exquisite beauty that stood before me, declaring her love, love that I could not return. "Then the best thing I can do is to stay away from you. That's the best way to repay the debt." I took a deep breath, preparing myself for the worst, trying to keep my cool and failing._

_ "You offered to repay Lissa by staying by her side forever!" She snapped, losing her patience. _

_ "I didn't do the things…" I was at a loss for words, staring down at my feet for a moment, I couldn't say it. I couldn't. I just couldn't. But I had to. I had to so that Rose would understand. It was only fair to her. "I didn't do the things to her that I did to you." I was once again reminded of what exactly I had done. Guilt hit me in tidal waves as I watched her temper flare._

_ "You weren't you! I don't care!" I almost lost it. She didn't care? She didn't care that I had taken advantage of her? That I had used her as my personal bloodwhore and tried to force her into becoming Strigoi? Did she have any self-respect? Did she even know what other damage I had done?_

_ "How many?" I shouted, "How many guardians died last night because of what I did?" She faltered as knowing flashed through her eyes._

_ "I… I think six or seven." I winced. Those were harsh losses in the vampire world. Seven guardians. I had killed seven guardians just to get to Rose. _

_ "Dead in one night. Because of me." I finally felt like I was getting through to her. She didn't understand, but I knew she felt those guardian deaths hard. _

_ "You didn't act alone! And I told you, you weren't you. You couldn't control yourself. It doesn't matter to me-" That's when I truly lost control._

"_It matters to me!" I cut her off. I couldn't take her making excuses for my malevolent behavior. "It matters to me. That's what you don't get. You can't understand. You can't understand what it's like knowing what I did. That whole time being Strigoi... It's like a dream now, but it's one I remember clearly. There can be no forgiveness for me. And what happened with you? I remember that most of all. Everything I did. Everything I wanted to do." My voice trembled with emotion. _

"_You're not going to do it now." She pleaded. "So let it go. Before- before everything happened- you said we could be together. That we'd get assignments near each other and-" I interrupted her once more. She wasn't even reasoning anymore, she was begging, and that, that I wouldn't stand for._

"_Roza," I stopped myself, realizing my mistake. She gasped, taken aback by the familiarity in the nickname. However, I pushed on, trying to distract her from the slip up, "Do you really think they're going to let me be a guardian again? It'll be a miracle if they let me live." _

_She shook her head vehemently, refusing to accept reality, not surprisingly. "That's not true. Once they realize you've changed and that you're really your old self... Everything will go back to how it was." Her belief, her courage, it caught me off guard. The passion and hope that burned inside of her was truly what made her so beautiful, but it was also the very thing that kept her from understanding that she had to move on. _

_"Your optimism... Your belief that you can make anything happen. Oh, Rose. It's one of the amazing things about you. It's also one of the most infuriating things about you." I sighed. Our conversation once again reminded me of the Academy._

_"I believed that you could come back from being a Strigoi," She pointed out. "Maybe my belief in the impossible isn't so crazy after all." I sighed once more. She had a point, but there was no way she would ever make me forget. There was absolutely no forgiveness for the things I'd done. _

_Her face fell as she watched me shake my head. Her shoulders drooped a bit and she let out a sigh, giving me a heartbreaking look. It killed me to see her sad. It literally ripped my heart out, but it was for her own good. Though I yearned to run to her and never let her go, I knew what I had to do. I had to let her go. I had to let her be free. _

"_I'm grateful for what you did," I kept my voice level and formal. I found the easiest way, though it was by no means easy, to approach the situation was to stay distant and detached. I took another breath, steadying my emotions, "I do owe you. And it's a debt I can't pay. Like I said, the best thing I can do is stay out of your life." _

"_If you're part of Lissa's , then you can't avoid me." I watched as her patience started to slip. She was growing weary of my adamant detachment. _

"_People can exist around each other without… Without there being any more than that." I finished, trying to emphasize the last bit. It was my plan at the academy, though that failed, I was sure that I'd be able to stay faithful to Vasilissa while avoiding Rose. If I kept a logical, level head it should be easy. I was trained to be professional, and that would suck all romance out of our relationship._

_She slammed herself against the bars, clutching them tightly, her eyes burning with frustration and passion. "But I love you!" She hissed, "And I know you love me too. Do you really think you can spend the rest of your life ignoring that when you're around me?" She scowled, narrowing her eyes, piercing me with a ferocious gaze. Her presence became even greater as she got angrier. Her declaration of love sent butterflies to my stomach. It made me want to jump up and down until I remembered. Until I remembered the evil that had torn us apart. _

"_You love me. I know you do." It was like she was trying to convince herself. Pain washed through her eyes as she studied my face, desperately searching for any sign of familiarity. I slammed my guardian mask into place, trying to hide my true feelings deep under a mask of distance. _

_She reached out, through the bars toward me, fingers outstretched, desperately trying to touch me. My hand twitched, about to grab it, but I caught myself just in time to restrain myself from doing so. _

_I had to think of something fast before she got too close. Her behavior was getting desperate, and I never wanted to see my Roza beg. It would break me. _

"_Isn't it true that you're involved with Adrian Ivashkov?" One thing Rose and I had always had in common was our belief in honor, and I knew the circumstances were different, but I refused to be the guy who takes another man's girl. I still had my morals and honor that I lived by, as best I could. She winced, her hand dropping._

_She looked down at her feet, looking like she was about to cry. "Wh-where did you hear that?" Her voice quivered, thick with emotion. _

_I pushed on, "Things get around." I said nonchalantly, like I was perfectly fine with her dating someone else in my absence, however it was quite the contrary. I was boiling over with jealousy inside. I wanted to rip Adrian's head off, but I stopped myself. _

_Adrian was good to her. He'd never hurt her, and was always supportive, something I could never be. Adrian was what Rose needed, and who was I to take that from her? It was obvious he was head over heels in love with her, but I knew deep down that she'd never be satisfied with their relationship. There would always be something missing, a certain spark of passion and understanding that Rose and I had had. What Rose and I shared, well, it was special, but it was also gone. I could no longer look at her the same, and it killed me inside, knowing that I'd never see her quite the same as I had before._

"_They certainly do," She muttered, narrowing her eyes at nothing, as if accusing the air of spreading court gossip. _

"_So are you?" I asked. It shook Rose out of her deep thoughts, refocusing herself on me. It seemed she'd come up with a way around my question, but I wouldn't let her get there._

"_Yes, but-" I never let her finish. I would not be that guy. I wouldn't steal another's woman. It was against my honor. I'd seen it done and I've seen the betrayal and hurt it leaves behind. I couldn't bring myself to break my code of honor even further than I had as a Strigoi._

"_Good. Adrian's a better person than he gets credit for. He'll be good to you." I sat back, relieved that she'd have someone to look after her. Though Adrian wouldn't be able to physically protect her, he could give her the emotional support she needs. I couldn't offer that, not with the emotional turmoil I was going through myself. _

"_But-" She began to protest, but I stopped her once more._

"_That's where your future is, Rose." I paused, deciding whether or not to hurt her further to make it final. I wanted a clean break. "You don't understand what it's like coming through what I did-coming back from being a Strigoi. It's changed everything. It's not just that what I did to you is unforgiveable. All my feelings . . . My emotions for you . . . They changed. I don't feel the way I used to. I might be a dhampir again, but after what I went through . . . Well, it's scarred me. It altered my soul. I can't love anyone now. I can't-I don't—love you. There's nothing more between you and me." Except there was. I refused to admit it, but under all of the guilt, the honor, and the self-pity there was love. Love for Rose. My Roza. But just like the Academy, I couldn't act upon it. Our love had always been difficult, but now, it was impossible. Love shouldn't be hard, it should be easy, and I had a feeling that all we'd been through was the universe trying to tell me that we just couldn't be. _

_I kept my face cold and detached, completely devoid of any emotion. I studied her as she reacted to my words. She seemed in shock, frozen. Like her heart had been ripped out and shredded, which is exactly what I'd done. I had broken her heart, but it was for her own good. However, she froze for only a moment. In seconds she was back to denial, but I could see it in her eyes. I had always been able to read her, and I could see the pain and devastation behind the passion and love. I had broken her, hurt her beyond words, and it hit me hard. I felt a twist in my chest. As her heart broke, mine did as well. I hated myself for doing this, but I had to. _

"_No! That's not true! I love you and you-" I couldn't hear her say it. I couldn't. She was so determined, I couldn't bear to watch anymore of the heart wrenching tears welling in her eyes. _

"_Guards! Get her out of here! Get her out of here!" I yelled down the hall, wishing she'd just disappear. Her anguish was overwhelming. I made her cry, just like I'd hurt her as a Strigoi, only now it was emotional pain instead of physical. I was a monster. They rushed down the hall, grabbing hold of her and dragging her away from my cell._

_She struggled ferociously against their iron grip, "No wait!" She struggled even harder, trying to wiggle her way out of their arms. Mikhail approached her cautiously, whispered something in her ear, and she went stopped, turning to give me one last wistful glance before walking back up the stairs and out of sight. _

_I turned back around to me wall, curling onto the bed as tears came to eyes, running down my cheeks as I realized what exactly I had just done. I had shattered the heart of the only woman I had ever loved. I truly was a monster. _

I reopened my eyes, looking at the crystal. It was completely horizontal, pointing Northeast on the map. I looked confused.

"Rose isn't in Pennsylvania." Rhonda said gravely. She stood up, walking over to her desk and grabbing a world map out of her bottom drawer. "Perhaps this is more suitable?"

She laid it out on the table. I hung the crystal over it nervously, replaying the memory once more in my head. The crystal hit the map immediately, before I could even procure the memory.

"Ahhh, it seems Rosemarie is in Novosibirsk, Russia." My face drained of blood. I knew where Rose was, and it wasn't a good feeling.

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	21. Death Wish

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**Death Wish**

RPOV

I had been daydreaming for I don't know how long, slipping in and out of consciousness. I had no way to mark time passage, but it felt like I'd been in solitude for years. I was not the kind of person who liked being alone, I thrived through human contact, and the lack of stimulation in my jail cell was slowly driving me insane.

_Crack!_ In my oblivion I had failed to realize that Freya had entered the room, and losing her patience like any normal Strigoi, she had opted to wake me up from my daydreams by backhanded me across the face. _What a great way to start my day!_ I snarled sarcastically in my head, giving Freya a bitter glare, trying not to move too much to prevent irritating the countless wounds across my body.

I took a mental stock of what I must've looked like; bloodied, thousands of cuts everywhere, _bloodwhore_ sadistically carved into my arm, my leg hanging limp as well as my arm, bites covering my neck, my hair wild and matted with blood, my body thoroughly bruised. I wasn't sure how much more of this I could endure.

She looked at me, studying me as I glared at her. To my utter confusion, she burst out laughing. I felt my glare intensifying. If looks could kill, there were no words to explain the slow, excruciatingly painful death as well as torturous afterlife I'd plan for Freya.

"I just don't see how Dimitri Belikov would go for _you_! Oh, that's simply hilarious!" She breathed, giving me a look of fascination.

"You leave him alone? You hear me? Leave Dimitri out of this!" I attempted to struggle against my restraints, trying to get at her with what little strength I had left to back up my threat. She laughed even harder.

"Why that's simply adorable!" She chirped, rolling her eyes at me. "Now, rumor has it Dimitri's gift of eternity was ripped away by someone named Rose Hathaway. What can you tell me about it?" She asked, giving me a look of amused curiosity, not bothering to hide her contentment.

"You must have the wrong girl! Maybe it's the other Rose Hathaway?" I exclaimed, sarcasm dripping from my words. Her face darkened as she leaned in, merely inches from my face, grabbing me tightly by the jaw.

"Now, now Rosemarie. We mustn't ruin the fun. If I were you I'd loosen that jaw before I break it, understand?" She leaned in even closer, the smell of decay and old blood on her breath. I wrinkled my nose in disgust.

"Geez! Don't you own a toothbrush?" I exclaimed, contorting my face in repugnance. The smell was revolting.

"Focus, dearie, I wouldn't want to accidently order the death of your precious Vasilissa, now would I?" She asked innocently, eyes wide in fake shock.

"If I had a dollar for every time a Strigoi has threatened me with that, well, I'd be pretty damn rich. Let me know when your insults are original." It was quite amusing how Strigoi made the same death threats over and over until they were no longer scary, they actually made me laugh. Freya had no way of getting to Liss! Lissa was at Court, heavily guarded and completely safe under the protection of hundreds of guardians.

"You forget your place, Rosemarie. I have every capability of making that happen. I have the power to kill anyone I please for my own amusement. I suggest you shut your mouth unless you have something of use to say." She sneered, releasing my shirt and letting me plop back down in my seat.

"Then I guess I'm done talking." I gave her my man-eater smile, infuriating her even further. She leaned back, cracking her knuckles, turning around and starting to walk towards the door. _She wasn't going to beat the shit out of me? Had she gone soft on me? _

Her fist connecting with my jaw informed me that she had indeed not gone soft. I blacked out instantly, though I could still feel the bruises forming as she continued to punch, kick, and thoroughly bruise every surface on my body. I felt as if I'd been mistaken for a punching bag.

I woke up to ice water being thrown on me, shocking me awake. "What did I say about going to sleep on me?" I sighed, almost to my breaking point. I couldn't take much more of this. I knew I was close to the end… it just killed me to know I'd go like this, without a fight. There was no pride in that. However, I found peace in the fact that I was protecting the ones I loved. I was tired. Weak. I had no fight left in me.

I felt my breath become shallow and quick, like I was hyperventilating. I could feel the edges of my vision become blurry. I could feel the tidal wave of unconsciousness start the drag me under. I knew if I let it take me I'd never wake up. As a dhampir, I knew how to assess my injuries and knew what level of damage I'd taken, and I knew for a fact that my injuries were fatal, I just hoped they wouldn't come looking for me, or worse, find me, dead in an alleyway, or wherever Freya decided to dump my body once she realized I was dead.

I decided with my last few breaths, I would think of happy thoughts. Immediately my mind jumped to thoughts of Dimitri. The way his eyes twinkled when he looked my way, his full smile that gave me butterflies, his strength and power in battle, his ridiculous duster. They brought a weak smile to my face.

Lissa. What would she do without me? I thought of all our good times together at the Academy and in Portland. All of our crazy nights and sleepovers. I tried to laugh, but a sharp pain ripped through my chest. I could still feel the abuse my body was taking. Freya was relentless.

I closed my eyes, feeling incredibly sleepy, only to feel more ice water hit me, but I was already cold and wet, and the shock didn't even register. I was delirious. Suddenly, the abuse stopped.

"Is she dead?" I heard a Strigoi minion ask. I could feel Freya approach me, crouching down to get a good look at me.

"Almost. I'll be back in an hour to turn her. Make sure she stays here, you never know with this one." She ordered. I felt fear consume me as her words registered in my head.

"Wait!" More pain hit me, but I yelled it as loud as I could, which I guess was no louder than a whisper, luckily Strigoi senses are extremely sensitive and she spun around to face me.

I forced my eyes open to look at her. "I'll talk." I gasped, talking had become a strenuous task. A sickening smile spread across her face as she looked at me.

"I knew you'd come around. Now, when is the next time Lissa will be leaving the wards?"

DPOV

The plane ride just wouldn't end. I knew they were worried about me, I'd been jiggling my knee this entire plane ride, anxiously staring out the window. I'd tried to read my western, but I couldn't find the focus to enjoy the story. The thought that my Roza could be dead landed me in the icy grips of fear as I sat there, tortured by my own imagination, a ball of stress and anxiety. The world was cruel.

I stood up, deciding to pace the length of the plane to stretch. Lissa shot me a worried glance, grabbing my arm before I could pass. "Wait." She whispered. I turned and looked at her, seeing the anxiety in her eyes.

"Promise me something." She said, a grave tone to her voice. I studied her for a moment, curious at her request.

"Anything, Princess." I kept my Guardian mask up, making sure she was completely unaware of how intense my inner turmoil truly was. I didn't need my charge worried over my wellbeing. Rose would kill me at how unprofessional that would be.

"Promise me that if, God forbid, Rose doesn't make it out of this, you'll continue to live your life to the fullest. I know how much you love her, and I feel it's my duty as her best friend to make sure you'll be okay." Her face looked clouded with worry, my heart went out to her. I nodded my head in agreement.

"I will." Lies. If Rose died, I would never forgive myself. I couldn't live without her. It was as simple as that. The only reason I'd keep living, is to protect Lissa for Rose. I'd promised her I'd protect her and Lissa, and if I couldn't keep the promise to protect her, I'd at least keep the promise to always protect Lissa. I knew it would be her dying wish. I just prayed it didn't have to be.


	22. Playing With Fire

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**Playing With Fire**

RPOV

"I knew you'd come around. Now, when is the next time Princess Dragomir will be leaving the wards?" Freya asked, studying me intently, knife at the ready in case I withheld any information.

To be completely honest, I had no idea. There were only two people who could truthfully answer that question: Lissa and Hans. I hadn't tuned into Lissa's head for a while, but that wasn't what Freya wanted to hear, and that certainly wasn't what I was going to give her. My body had taken plenty of abuse and I wasn't sure I could handle much more.

I withheld the urge to smirk as an idea formed in my head. "Tomorrow." I stated, as if surprised it was so soon. Her eyes shown brightly with excitement, but only for a moment as they clouded with suspicion.

"Where?" She looked at me accusingly, as if she already suspected I was making it up.

"Leehigh University for her orientation. We were going to enroll together." I said, a bitter tone to my voice. Before I left, I had fantasized at the possibility of Lissa and I going to Lehigh while Dimitri guarded Christian. It would be our perfect little world, the four of us. A bliss that was snatched from me when Dimitri was turned. It would forever be the heaven I would never behold.

"How many Guardians?" I looked up from my daydream, desperately trying to scrape together a solemn but earnest face. Luckily for me, she bought it.

"I'm not _quite_ sure, Hans would know the details of that and I only have access to Lissa. Judging by her rank, the imminent dangers of a large campus, and the lack of guardians, I'd say about six or seven. Lord Ozera is accompanying them as well, so one staged-companion guard for each and the rest mixed into the crowd." That was the only truthful part of my answer so far. "Guardian Belikov will be one of the near guards. He never lets Lissa out of his sight, as well as Guardian Castile. Both are highly respected guardians, I mean come on, it's the Royal Guard." I couldn't believe the words coming out of my mouth. I was advising a Strigoi on their prey. Luckily, it was all a lie, at least most of it.

It took serious restrain to keep the smirk off my face as Freya nodded once and left, not even stopping for a drink. I had given her everything she needed. Hopefully, it would buy me some time to figure out an escape plan and break out before she returned. If it didn't work, I was dead. There was no question about it. Strigoi were known for their impatience and malicious tendencies. If Freya found out I was lying and I didn't break out in time, I was as good as dead. Or undead.

DPOV

We'd landed. I'd been anxious for the arrival, mainly for the pit of dread that sat in my stomach, a foul taste in my mouth. The problem with our plan was that if we tried the crystal again, and it didn't work, we were stuck. Combing the city for clues would take too long and wandering the streets lacked reason and safety. Both Plan B and Plan C were hopeless. I shivered.

The thought that Rose's life would rest on this defining moment was sickening. I tried to contain my imagination of the torture she must be enduring, but it was futile. I was ensnared by my masochism. The guilt of not being able to save her crashed down around me once more, hitting me in tidal waves.

Lissa shot me a worried glance as we marched through the airport, hailing a taxi. We would go to a hotel and get a room, which we could use as our headquarters. I sighed, looking out the window, wondering where Rose could possibly be in the metropolis that was Novosibirsk. I had a sick feeling that time was running out.

Freya's POV

"You. I want at least twenty posted outside the gates in wait. We'll ambush them. If they don't come, we'll know. I have a funny feeling that bitch is leading me on to buy herself time." My temper flared at the thought as I turned and hurled my dinner at the wall. I was always one to play with my food, and she didn't even taste that good.

"Such a waste." I tsked, rolling her on her back to look into her eyes once more before they went blank. What I found pleased me: pure, deliciously satisfying terror. Just how I liked it. "Maybe I could make you useful." I bit into her neck, to start the process of turning her. Her dhampir blood trickled down my throat. Nothing special, just another meal.

I pulled away, sighing. It was unsatisfying to say the least. I had been living on dhampir blood for too long. It just didn't compare to Moroi blood. Moroi blood was bliss, it was ecstasy. It was better than anything I'd ever previously experienced.

I looked down at my prey, noting the look of sheer pleasure on her face. My nose wrinkled in disgust. She was absolutely powerless, it was a painful reminder of the time I had been like that, before my baby sister changed me.

I threw her with a force that I knew for a fact would kill her. Her head hit with a sickening crack, bringing a smile to my lips.

The thought of death brought the memory of my sisters' deaths. It brought a flurry of unwelcome, mixed feelings to the surface, anger being the dominant one.

I'd had three sisters; Anastasiya, Kira, and Marya. Kira was the eldest at 23. Marya was 21. I was two years younger at 19, and young Anastasiya was only 16. Our father, Aleksander, was turned when I was 17. We grieved him deeply, though now I'm not sure why. He was given the gift or immortality, and two years later, he came back to give us that same gift. Our mother, Sasha, died that night trying to defend us from our father.

_There was a knock at the door as Anastasiya and I helped Mama clear the table. I looked up from my work. For some reason I had a bad feeling about whoever was on the other side of the door. _

_ "Kira, go answer the door." The knock grew impatient, getting louder. Kira jumped up from the table and bounded to the door._

_ "Who is it?" Kira called through the door, her hand on the doorknob. The knocking stopped. A moment went by, two, three. We all paused to listen, each of us immensely curious. _

_ "It is your father, Aleksander." The deep Russian accent was unmistakable. Our father had come for us. Fear sat in my stomach, cold and heavy, making it impossible to move. The dish in my hands clattered to the floor, shattering as it hit the ground. _

_ "Impossible." I heard Mama whisper. She grabbed Anastasiya and I, shoving us toward the small bedroom we all shared. There were only two rooms in our humble home, but we made it by. "Get in the closet and don't come out until I say so? Do you here me? Do _not_ leave this room." She whispered urgently in my ear, before pulling us into a tight embrace. "I love you both no matter what happens."_

_ "We love you too, Mama!" Anastasiya whimpered. I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her to me to comfort her. She was only 16 and obviously terrified. Though I was only a few years older, it was my duty to be there for her. A tear trickled down her face as I rocked her slowly. _

_ "Everything is going to be okay? You hear me? We're going to be fine. So are Mama and Nastasia and Kira and even Masha." I knew Ana loved our cat, Masha dearly. I sang her the lullaby Mama used to sing to us when we were small, whispering it softly in her ear as we heard the crashes and screaming out in the kitchen. The door to the bedroom slammed open, sending shivers down my spine. _

_ "Come out, come out, wherever you are! Ana! Freya! Where are you hiding? Come out!" He called. His voice had changed. Gone was his warm, loving voice, replaced by a cold, harsh one. Ana reached out to open the closet. My eyes widened, grabbing her hand. _

_ It was too late. The movement had knocked Kira's shoes off the top of her chest. I froze, as did Anastasiya. "Ahh. There you are my dearest daughters." The closet door was ripped off its hinges and thrown across the room. There, an evil gleam in his eye, was our father, in all his glory. _

_ Anastasiya burst into tears, desperately clawing and scrambling to back farther into the closet. I, however, stood tall, refusing to give him the satisfaction of seeing my fear. _

_ "Ana! No need to be afraid. I'm merely visiting. Do not squirm, child. Come. Sit with your Papa." He smiled, revealing fangs that knotted my stomach further._

_ "Where are Mama and the others?" I asked, giving him my most chilling glare. He studied me for a moment, giving me a warning look not to push him any further. I knew they were dead, but I wanted to hear him say it out loud. "Well? Where are they?" I demanded, taking a step closer. Hot fury raged through me as I lost my temper. _

_ "Why don't you go take a look for yourself?" He suggested, shrugging his shoulders. I raced through the door to the kitchen, only to gag at the scene. Everything was just how it had been left. Not a thing was out of place, except for the three bodies of my mother and older sisters lying on the ground. _

_ I spun around to face him; ready to strike when he grabbed my arm, throwing me against the wall. I gasped as pain erupted throughout my body, my head hitting with a thud. I could already feel the blood oozing down my neck. Distantly, I could hear Ana cry out and run to me, but I was too dazed to see if she was okay. My vision swam but I could make out only one thing before I blacked out. The vision of my father breaking Anastasiya's neck and throwing her against the wall, killing her instantly, burned in my memory forever. _

When I awoke the next morning, my father sat in the kitchen waiting for me. He'd turned me while I was unconscious, giving me a gift beyond any other. The corpses of my family sat next to him and I was reminded of what he'd taken from me. I'd killed him then and there, creeping up behind him and ripping his head off in my rage.

I stood up, shaking my head to clear the memory. "Anything yet?" I asked the girl who'd just hung up with our contacts in Pennsylvania. I think her name was Anja.

"They're on it." She replied warily, eyeing me closely to make sure her answer satisfied me. I had a habit of ripping someone's head off if they didn't meet my standards.

"Good. Any information to clarify whether or not Hathaway is bullshitting us?" I asked. This was more important. If Rose was lying, it was the last straw. I would turn her. I'd been prolonging it because I knew once she was Strigoi she'd turn on me and go for Vasilissa herself. I couldn't let her steal my glory of killing off the Last Dragomir, however it wasn't going to happen anyway if I couldn't get any information from her.

"No." She paused, seeing that my mood had taken a turn added, "But we're working on it. I've got all of our contacts in Pennsylvania checking the story with patterns, information on Vasilissa, and the Guardians. If there's anything that doesn't match up with her story, you'll be the first to know."

I pondered the idea of ripping her head off. I knew she was doing her job and getting me results, but I really wanted to tear something to pieces. I decided I'd go find someone else to massacre. "Good. I'm going hunting. Call me if anything changes." I snapped and stormed off to go enjoy wreaking havoc on the unsuspecting population of Novosibirsk.

DPOV

I paced, back and forth, back and forth. _Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock_. The clock mocked me. I had the urge to break the stifling silence by hurtling at the door, but it was futile. It wouldn't solve the problem. It wouldn't bring us any closer to Rose. All it would do is scare Vasilissa and put the entire room on edge. They were already wary of my unstable condition judging by the fact that I had worn a path into the carpet in less than an hour. It was getting dark and once the sunset, we'd have to bide our time until morning to make a move.

As always, my thoughts wandered back to Rose. My Roza. I envisioned her beautiful face, sending shivers down my spine and a throbbing in my heart. I stopped, closing my eyes for a moment and taking a deep breath to steady myself. Terrible, horrid thoughts of never being able to see her face again ran through my mind and it took all of my willpower not to break and let the tears fall. I was broken by the mere thought of her demise. My dependence on her was the scariest thing that'd ever happened to me, far more terrifying than any Strigoi.

I ran my fingers through my hair, anxious beyond belief. I turned to look at Lissa. She sat curled in a ball on the bed, napping. Christian lay next to her stroking her hair. On the other bed lay Adrian, napping as well. Both were trying to reach her in a spirit dream. So far it was our only plan that made any sense.

I sat down on the desk, staring at the map of Novosibirsk that we'd picked up in the lobby of the hotel. Supposedly this hotel was very tourist friendly. I studied the map for a moment before picking up the crystal once more. It was worth a try. I'd been able to use it effectively in Pennsylvania, why not give it one more try? I'd used the same memory from Pennsylvania from last time, but I had a feeling that the emotion it evoked wasn't strong enough to pinpoint exact location. I decided to focus on a stronger emotion. The cabin.

_ "Guardian Belikov! Rose is kicking Jesse Zeklos's ass and a bunch of other Moroi! Hurry! They're at the pond!" A student I didn't recognize shouted as he barreled around the corner, nearly running me over._

_ I don't think I'd ever ran that fast. I had no idea what exactly was going on, but I ran like the hounds from hell were on my heels. I made it there in a matter of minutes, just in time to see Rose leap at a seemingly unconscious Jesse and start to pummel him to a pulp. He started to scream and I ran faster, trying to reach them before Rose inflicted any serious damage. As I drew closer I could see the animalistic rage in her eyes, in her sloppy, careless punches. Something was wrong, _very _wrong. _

_ I was too far off to reach them but I could see Eddie attempt to haul Rose off. She struggled and screamed something intangible. As I drew closer I saw Vasilissa lean down and touch Jesse lightly, as if assessing the damage. I knew what she was doing. She was healing him, and Rose was furious._

_ "No!" She screeched, "You can't!" Eddie struggled to hold her. She strained against his iron grip, desperately trying to rip free. I noticed the Moroi crowded around them a few yards away, looking warily between Rose, Jesse and Vasilissa, and the arriving Guardians who'd followed me. _

_ Alberta called out instructions to organize the chaos surrounding the tranquil pond. Jesse and the Princess were carted off for medical attention, the Moroi were taken away to be questioned, and Eddie was left struggling to contain Rose. _

_ "You can't let him go! You can't let him go!" She screamed, catching Alberta's attention. She strolled over, gazing levelly at raging Rose. _

_ "Rose, calm down. It's over." She tried to put a hand on Rose's shoulder, but Rose struggled even harder, wrenching out of Alberta's grasp and struggling harder than ever. _

_ "It's not over! Not until I get my hands around his throat and choke the life out of him!" I froze, as did a few of the other guardians. That was a serious threat for a Dhampir to make toward a Moroi, and no one could ignore it. Everyone turned to look at me. I knew I had to do something. She was technically in my care, and it was my job to look after her. _

_ Rose turned to look at me, insanity flashing in her eyes. I momentarily panicked. I had seen Rose angry, _very_ angry, but I had never seen her lose it completely. I took a deep breath. _

_ "Get her out of here," said Alberta, "Get her cleaned up and calmed down." I nodded briskly, before striding over to where Rose struggled against Eddie's grip. He let go of her and before she could escape I grabbed her arms, pinning her against me. I could feel the heat of her body radiating off her, sending chills down my spine, but now was no time for distractions. I needed to focus and do my job, without any extra emotion. _

_ I dragged her away, intent on being the tough mentor in this situation. "We can make this easy or difficult," I kept my guardian mask on as she continued to struggle against my attempts to pull her away from the scene and farther into the woods. I decided I'd calm her through simple logic. _

_ "There's no way I'm letting you go to Jesse. Besides, he's at the med clinic, so you'd never get near him. If you can accept that, I'll release you. If you bolt, you know I'll just restrain you again." I kept my face neutral and my voice soothing. Rose paused, as if weighing her options, wild fury still burning in her eyes, but it was as if my words questioned her placement of her rage. _

_ "Okay," I released the breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. Trusting her not to try and run I made my way towards the old guardian outpost. _

_ "Alberta told you to clean me up," she paused, "So we're going to the med clinic?" She tried to seem nonchalant, as if medical attention was the real reason she wanted in there so badly. I scoffed. _

_ "Nice try. I'm not letting you near him. We'll get first aid somewhere else." I vaguely recalled Tasha cleaning up the old cabin so it was more comfortable for her to hang out in. I opened the door cautiously, quickly lighting a lamp. Darkness made me feel uneasy, as I knew all too well what could be lurking._

_ "Sit down," I ordered, gesturing to the bed. I wanted to get back as fast as possible so I could partake in the questioning of Mr. Zeklos. Though I didn't approve of Rose's methods, his actions awakened the fury inside me, knowing that his only punishment would be a week of detention, maximum. _

_ "You have to let me go." Rose looked up at me, her wide, chocolate eyes pleading with me, "Don't you see? Don't you see how Jesse has to pay? He tortured her! He did horrible things to her!" _

_ I grimaced, trying not to betray my hatred for Jesse. I saw exactly what she wanted me to see and my anger flared. For a moment I considered letting her go, but I couldn't. That was insanity! I couldn't condone her behavior. I'd be fired!_

_ I decided, instead, to focus on the small cut on her forehead, cleaning it with gauze. "He'll be punished, believe me. And the others." I had to be the voice of reason. Rose was out of control and I had to bring her back to reality. _

_ "With what?" She snarled, "Detention? This is as bad as Victor Dashkov. Nobody does anything around here! People commit crimes and get away with it. He needs to hurt. They all need to." I paused in my work, wrapping my head around her statement. She was right. I wouldn't deny that, but the way she wanted to punish them, it wasn't right. I couldn't let her go no matter how much I agreed with what she was saying._

_ "Rose, I know you're upset, but you know we don't punish people like that. It's… savage." She looked at me incredulously, her eyes piercing my soul._

_ "Yeah? What's wrong with that? I'd bet it stop them from doing it again." Her words were cold and sharp, malevolent and cruel. There was no passion or warmth in her eyes, just pure, unadulterated hatred. She trembled with anger, her face contorting as she struggled to stay in one place. "They need to suffer for what they did! And I want to be the one to do it! I want to hurt them all. I want to kill them all." She leapt up, the wild look back in her eye before I could blink._

_ I shoved her back down, keeping a firm hold on her shoulders, sending the first aid kit clattering to the floor. I had no idea what was causing her to act like this, but it scared me to my core. She fought against my grip, but I dug my fingers into her, pushing her down with all my strength. _

_ "Rose! Snap out of this! You don't mean any of it. You've been stressed and under a lot of pressure—it's making a terrible event that much worse." I shouted it in her face, trying to make her see reason. _

_ "Stop it!" She screeched, "You're doing it—just like you always do. You're always so reasonable, no matter how awful things are. What happened to you wanting to kill Victor in prison, huh? Why was that okay, but not this?" She seethed, malice twisting her face. I flinched, her words biting into me. _

_ "Because that was an exaggeration. You know it was. But this… This is something different. There's something wrong with you right now." It was a weak response, one that had me faltering. _

_ "No, there's something right with me. I'm the only one who wants to do anything around here, and if that's wrong, I'm sorry. You keep wanting me to be some impossible, good person, but I'm not! I'm not a saint like you." Her tone was bitter and merciless. Said any differently and I would've laughed, but not now. Not like this. These were an accusation, a bitter pill, they were anything but funny._

_ "Neither of us is a saint," I spoke quietly. "Believe me, I don't—" I was cut off by her throwing me off her and taking off towards the door. Lost in my own thought I faltered in my hold on her, a mistake I barely had time to recover from before she made it to the door. I snatched her arm, wrenching it back and pinning her down neatly, pressing with all of my weight. _

_ "Let me go!" She wailed. This time, I didn't even blink. She struggled ferociously once more, screaming and wailing without reason nor rhyme, most of it completely incoherent. I could feel desperation take over as I watched her flail in my grasp. I couldn't bear to see her like this, it was pure torture. _

_ "No, not until you break out of this. This isn't you!" She paused momentarily to make eye contact. I could see the angry tears in her eyes._

_ "It is! Let me go!" She yelled and continued to try and break free. It pained me to see her lose control, I wanted to help her, I needed to be there for her, but I couldn't. _Always the voice of reason. _It already haunted me. I felt useless as I watched her desperate attempts to claw her way out of the steady pin I had on her. It was my worst nightmare to see her look at me with hatred in her eye._

_ "It's not. It isn't you! It isn't you." I choked out the last sentence, begging her to stop. _

_ "You're wrong! It is-" She froze midsentence, wide-eyed and terrified. I could tell she was waging a battle within, whether or not to get control of herself. I had a feeling it had something to do with Lissa's emotions affecting her. I just prayed she won the internal war that I could see cross over her face. Her brow furrowed in effort and she squeezed her eyes shut tightly. _

_ "Rose." I held my breath. Trying to put everything I wanted to say in just one word. I watched and waited, feeling the seconds tick by as she lye there, me on top of her, breathing, furrowing and unfurrowing her brow. _

_ Slowly but surely, I felt her relax. She trembled, but I knew it was not fury that seized her body, but fear. I studied her intently, waiting for her to open eyes filled with love instead of hatred. I let go of her shoulders and she exhaled deeply, trying to steady her breathing._

_ "Oh my God," She croaked, her throat raspy and her voice no more than a broken whisper. I reached out, stroking her cheek, trying to comfort her. _

_ "Rose? Are you okay?" I asked. I needed something. Anything. I needed her to be okay. I had no idea what had happened but it scared me to my core and I needed the reassurance that she was okay, that there was something in my power that I could do to help her._

_ "I…I think so. For now." She nodded her head, terror in her eyes, looking down as she wrung her hands._

_ "It's over," I murmured. I brushed a stray lock of hair from her face, feeling the silky texture on my course fingers. "It's over. Everything's all right." She continued to wring her hands, her entire body still shaking. I could feel the tension in her shoulders just by looking at her posture._

_ She shook her head slowly, more tears welling up in her wide eyes. "No. It's not. You… you don't understand. It's true—everything I was worried about. About Anna? About me taking away spirit's craziness? It's happening, Dimitri. Lissa lost it out there with Jesse. She was out of control, but I stopped her because I sucked away her anger and put it into myself. And it's—it's horrible. It's like I'm, I don't know, a puppet. I can't control myself." She was on the edge of a cliff, and I had to pull her back before she took the plunge. I finally knew what pushed her into this state, taking the darkness that had been building in Lissa had pushed her to her breaking point. I should have recognized it sooner. _

_ "You're strong. It won't happen again." I had to once again be the voice of reason. She was delirious and terrified of her future, and I had to be there for her no matter how scared I was for her. _

_ "No. It will happen again. I'm going to be like Anna. I'm going to get worse and worse. This time it was bloodlust and hate. I wanted to destroy them. Next time? I don't know. Maybe it'll just be craziness, like Ms. Karp. Maybe I'm crazy already, and that's why I'm seeing Mason. Maybe it'll be depression like Lissa used to get. I'll keep falling and falling into that pit, and then I'll be like Anna and kill—" _

"_No." I couldn't bear to hear her say it. I knew what happened to Anna, and I couldn't imagine it ever happening to Rose. I couldn't fathom a world without her, much less a world that she took herself out of. She needed someone to believe in her, she needed someone to pull her out of that pit, and I was going to be that person. It was then and there that I decided to make the commitment. I would stand by Rose's side through thick and thin, no matter what, I would always be there for her._ _ "It won't happen to you. You're too strong. You'll fight it, just like you did this time."_

_ "I only did because you were here." It made my heart swell to think that she needed me, that I was able to be there for her. I pulled her closer to me, wrapping my arms around her shaking frame and resting my chin on her head, squeezing my eyes closed. "I can't do it by myself." She whispered. I felt my heart breaking for her. She thought she was alone, having to deal with the darkness by herself. Little did she know my vow to stand by her. _

_ "You can. You're strong—you're so, so strong. It's why I love you." It took me a moment to register the words as they tumbled out of my mouth. It was true, every bit of it. I loved her. I, Dimitri Belikov, was completely, head-over-heels in love with Rosemarie Hathaway, my student, and I had never been so absolutely content with breaking the rules. _

_ I felt her tense. "You shouldn't. I'm going to become something terrible. I might already be something terrible." I almost laughed. Rose? Terrible? She was anything but terrible. She was effervescent, beautiful, loyal, lovely, strong, stubborn, but terrible? Never. _

_ I pulled back to look her in the eye, "You aren't. You won't," I said. "I won't let you. No matter what, I won't let you." I studied her for a moment before her face lit up, and her eyes filled with love and passion. She leaned in, pressing her lips to mine in a sweet kiss. It was pure bliss, but as it continued, it picked up intensity. I could feel the built up sexual tension start to take over as she leaned in further, wrapping her arms around my neck and tangling her fingers in my hair. It was like an electrical shock to my body._

_ We moved to the bed, I could tell where this was headed, but logic set in before it was too little, too late. I paused, pulling back and looking her in the eye, torn between loyalties. "We can't…" I murmured. _

_ She nodded, "I know." She pressed her lips to mine and I knew for a fact that there was no stopping us now. Clothes were steadily lost in the sheets as the pace picked up. She was beautiful, exquisite, perfection. She was the piece of my soul that I never knew I was missing. It felt as if my heart was bursting with love and pouring out into every breath, every kiss, every touch. Her blush, her shy smile, the passion in her eyes, I was entranced by this beautiful creature that was finally mine. _

_ When all was said and done, she laid down on my chest with a contented sigh. I leaned down and pressed a sweet kiss to her forehead, running my fingers through her luxurious hair. "I love you, Roza." She looked up at me and our lips locked once more. I pressed my forehead to hers, taking in the moment to remember forever. "I'll always be here for you. I'm not going to let anything happen to you." _

_ I knew my words were dangerous, considering the line of work we were in, but I couldn't help but make the moment sweeter. She knew it as well when she looked at me with raised eyebrows. We both knew that this kind of promise wouldn't change the fact that Lissa would always be our priority, but it was special in its own way knowing that, had the circumstances been any different and we were Moroi, she would be my priority. _

_ "And I won't let anything happen to you. I love you." She looked at me earnestly, putting truth and passion in every word. I leaned down and pressed my lips to hers once more, smiling into her lips. We stayed like that for what felt like hours, wrapped in each other's embrace, but sooner that I would've liked, I knew it was a matter of time before the others came looking for us. However sweet the time had been, it had to end sooner or later._

_ We slowly got dressed, which took longer than expected since I couldn't help but stop to kiss her every other minute. When we were finished making the bed, she reluctantly led us out of the cabin, grabbing my hand and leaning on my shoulder. I knew we'd have to drop hands soon, but while her fingers were entwined with mine, the moment was beautiful, even if it wouldn't last once we were in view of the school. _

I could feel a single, salty tear trickle down my face. I opened my eyes, knowing all to well what had happened after that moment. The crystal dug into the surface of the desk, it's sharp point landing on an abandoned hotel a few miles outside of town in a sketchy part of the surrounding suburbs. I knew the area fairly well, it was considered the ghetto of Novosibirsk, and I knew for a fact it was where most Strigoi lurked for an easy kill. I knew where Rose was, and it was time to go get her. I just prayed we made it there in time.

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	23. Off to War

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**Off to War**

FPOV

_Ring! Ring! Ring!_ I growled, my phone had interrupted my kill. I almost had him in the alley, it would've been my next move, but no, instead my phone had to interrupt the sweet Moroi blood I was about to taste. The man shifted away as I flipped my phone open, seeing it was my second in command. She only called me when it was absolutely necessary, knowing that any unnecessary interruptions could potentially cost her head. She had learned well.

"Hello?" I snapped, "This better be important." I watched as the ignorant Moroi sauntered off, neck unfortunately still intact, to go flirt with a gaggle of giggling Dhampir blood whores. I rolled my eyes, pathetic. To think that that could've been me in another life, giggling and flirting, gold digging to survive was a terrible thought, almost sending me into a blind rage. It was a pathetic, shameful existence. It was prostitution, and I was above that.

"We have news on the case." She seemed skittish as she spoke, I had a feeling this was not going to be the news I wanted to hear. Hopping off the barstool, I strutted to the door, catching the eye of multiple Moroi men, but I kept going. I didn't have time to flirt and play cat and mouse. I almost laughed at the fact that they thought they were the cat... not even close.

"Go on." I snarled as I walked out of the club, winking at the bouncer. He blushed, smiling wide at the recognition. I kept walking, back into the alleyway where I could get some peace and quiet. I could distantly hear the club mix pounding through the walls of the club, but it was faint enough to be able to hear.

"Our sources have found out that Princess Vasilissa won't be leaving for Lehigh anytime soon due to a number of attacks around that area.

"That bitch!" I screeched and threw my phone at the wall. "That lying piece of shit!" I was angry, no livid. Rose Hathaway was as good as dead when I got back to the warehouse. No. I couldn't let her off that easy. I would take everything she holds dear to her and dangle it in front of her face. I would kill everyone she loves, and then I'd turn her. I would make her the monster she so fears, and rightfully so.

I turned and punched the wall, there was no way I would ever get to Vasilissa now unless she idiotically left the wards which was unlikely. I would never hold the glory of finishing off the Last of the Dragomirs, and it was all her fault. She would pay. I would make her pay.

RPOV

I was no longer sure if I was conscious or not. I was in no state to tell. I knew I was dying. I could feel it in every breath as they became ragged and shallow. I was strong, but I was no super hero. I wasn't invincible, and I'd finally met my match. Sure, maybe the terms they'd gotten me on weren't very fair, I'd basically gone on a suicide mission to save Naomi, but it had been worth it.

Naomi was a good person, I could tell. She picked up the pieces for Dimitri and made her happy. What more could I ask for? I had hoped as I was leaving that he would come running after me and we'd kiss and it would start raining, but this wasn't The Notebook, my life was not a movie, though in my opinion, it sure was movie worthy.

_Drip. Drip. Drip. _It was the sound of my blood slowly dripping on the cement. It was calming. I just wanted to close my eyes and sleep. Yes. Sleep. Close your eyes. Sleep.

Sleep.

Sleep. Stop.

Dimitri.

I snapped my eyes open, the name of the only one I could love pulling me out of my daze. I had to stay awake. I had to fight on. I knew if I fell asleep I wouldn't wake up. I knew I had to fight… it was in my nature. Rose Hathaway did not give up. Rose Hathaway fought on. Rose Hathaway was a survivor. If my pride couldn't keep me awake, the thought of leaving Dimitri and Lissa would. The thought of leaving everyone would; Adrian, Christian, Lissa, Eddie, Janine, Abe, Dimitri and everyone else I held close and dear to me.

_Pull it together, Hathaway. _I focused on my shallow breath, which had slowly sped up in an effort to get as much oxygen in me as possible. It felt like someone was pressing down on my throat, constricting my windpipes. I tried to squirm, but I couldn't get my legs to move. Frustrated and emotionally unstable, I tried to shove myself off the chair and onto the floor, but I was out of luck. I couldn't move anything of use. I felt hot, angry tears threatening to spill, so I did the only thing I could.

I screamed. Long, loud and full of agony. I screamed for the loss of life that was just hours away, for the loss of love that I had selfishly run away from, for all the wasted moments and regrets I had throughout my life. I screamed for all the people I would lose, for all the people I had hurt and who had hurt me, for all the pain that had been inflicted on me throughout my life. It was terrible, it was achingly sad and hopelessly painful.

_Bang!_ The door flew of its hinges, crashing against the wall behind me. I cringed at the sound of metal tearing apart. I didn't even have to wonder what could've caused such mass destruction. I knew who it was.

There, standing in the doorway, looking angrier than I'd ever seen her, was Freya in all her undead glory. I could feel myself start to shake. I had never been so terrified in my life. The blood drained in my face as she took a step into the room, slowly making her way towards me. She glared at me, her face full of malice and hate and I knew. I knew this time, there was no way out. My plan had failed, she knew Lissa wasn't leaving Court anytime soon, and I knew I was about to die.

A sense of serenity came over me as she stopped in front of me, taking in my bloodied state. Facing death was not as scary as I thought it would be. I'd lived a full life, and now it was coming to an end. I just prayed she would truly put me out of my misery instead of turning me into a monster.

"You lying piece of shit!" She screeched, kicking me in the stomach and knocking the wind out of me. I sputtered, trying to take in air and failing. It felt like my throat was collapsing and my organs had exploded all at the same time. I could feel the comforting blackness trying to pull me under, but I fought on. I was stubborn and had decided to fight to my very last breath. I refused to give up on my loved ones, no matter how dire the situation.

"I'm going to kill you! No. No, that's too easy. I'm going to make you properly pay for what you've done. I'm going to make you watch me kill every single one of them and then I'm going to turn you to the very monster you so ignorantly fear. Do you hear me? I will make you suffer. No more chances. I've given you more than enough time to answer the damn question." She smiled, but it held no warmth. It was an ugly, cruel smile, full of malevolent hate.

"You know what's really funny, Rose? They're on their way here, right now. So you can watch me kill them one by one." I lost it, screaming and trying to kick, but she held me down, biting my neck to sedate me. I was in a trance. I fought the endorphins as much as I could, but there was only so much I could do. The blackness was so warm and comfortable. Just let it take you away. Let it take you to somewhere safe and happy. Just sleep. Sleep. And I did.

DPOV

We had made it. It was still dark out, but the sun would rise soon. I just prayed it would rise before things got ugly so we'd have an easy escape if necessary. I parked the car quickly a few blocks down, trying to stay anonymous for as long as possible, though I had a feeling we had already been spotted a long time back. If Freya was capable of kidnapping Rose, then I had a feeling she had enough intel to keep tabs on Guardian movements in the area.

"Eddie, Mikhail, Janine, Christian, Denis, Artur and Lev, you're coming with me. Everyone else, you're staying here. That's final." Abe rolled his eyes.

"And since when do you call the shots?" He snarled, shooting daggers at me. I sighed, must he be so difficult? "By the way, I have a few of my private Guardians on the way. Speaking of which they should be here any second." He looked up from his very expensive looking watch just as a black SUV rolled up behind us.

"You're staying behind to make sure Lissa and Adrian are safe. You'll just get in the way once you tire out your magic. It's best if you stay here." I reasoned. He puffed out his chest.

"Fine, but if you don't come out of there with Janine and my daughter alive and well, I swear to god I'll have you killed. You hear me?" I growled, giving me a hard look that had me completely convinced he was not joking around. I nodded.

"Oh, shut up, Ibrahim! Your daughter is in trouble, now is not the time for death threats!" Janine scolded while simultaneously slamming the car door open and jumping out. Abe had managed to add five more guardians with this extensive influence and connections. We quickly introduced ourselves and discussed tactics.

Two women and three men, Guardian Wojtkowicz, a tall woman with grey eyes, light blonde hair, a round face with pink lips. I guessed she was of Polish decent. Guardian Dobrev was a short, thick man with dark, sharp features and hard, almost black eyes. He gave us a curt nod, bowed to the Royals, and stated his name. Guardian Ledger was a tall man with black hair and bright green eyes and pale skin. He was professional but warmer than Guardian Dobrev. Next was Guardian Harris, a average looking guy with sandy blonde hair, blue eyes, and tan skin. He resembled a California beach boy type, but judging by the steely gaze that settled in his eyes, I had a feeling he was all business. Lastly was Guardian Shi, a short, sharp looking girl who looked no older than 20. To my surprise, she was Asian. There weren't many Guardians who were Asian since most of our heritage is from Russia and Europe. She was pale, with severe features, long black hair pulled in a tight bun and heavy black eyeliner. I could see multiple knives hidden among her person, only because I was trained to look for them. I had a feeling she was much more lethal than she got credit for.

All five were dressed in tight black t-shirts and black combat pants with black combat boots, looking every inch the badass team they were. Denis, Artur and Lev took to the five of them well and soon enough, they were talking tactics. I jumped in, trying to put my training to use.

It took us ten minutes, but by the time we were done, the plan was set. Denis, Artur and Lev would slink around the back, Abe's Guardians would barge in through the front, causing a distraction, and Janine, Eddie, Mikhail and I would follow in behind them with Christian covering us, only using his magic when necessary. We would try to penetrate as deep as possible while Abe's guardians would take the brunt of the attack. It was the best we could come up with without looking too conspicuous. We broke up into our respective teams and headed out. It was time to save Rose, given that she was still alive.

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	24. Savior

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**Savior**

DPOV

Feint. Kick. Dodge. Block. Punch. Spin. Jump. Block. Kick. Punch. Flip. Stake. It was the endless pattern that I had taken up in trying to rescue my love. They had been ready for us. I assumed that they had been keeping tabs on the guardians in the area, but I had no idea how closely. Surprise had been our advantage, but they had anticipated our attack and prepared themselves.

I had long ago lost count of how many I'd taken down, but they just kept coming. We'd barely made it in the entrance before they sprung. I had finally made it to the basement stairs. I could almost feel her presence in the house, telling me to go down. With Mikhail and Alberta flanking me, I made the descent slowly. The door at the bottom of the stairs looked ominous, but I flung it open anyways, determined to find Rose. I had expected an immediate attack; instead, the hallway was empty. However, it wasn't like the one Adrian had described to me from his dream. There was only one door at the end of the hall.

"Mikhail, you stay here and watch our backs. Alberta, you'll come with me." Even though I was technically beneath Alberta and Mikhail in rank, neither of them questioned my orders. Mikhail nodded and stood to the side of the door so any Strigoi that would come down the stairs could easily be surprise attacked. I advanced towards the door, feeling myself getting closer and closer to her. Alberta motioned me forward and I kicked down the door, readying myself for whatever stood between my love and I.

RPOV

As promised a bucket of ice water woke me. I had no idea how long I was out but Freya was pacing in front of me. She seemed tense and jumpy in the way she stalked back and forth, back and forth, her strides long and purposeful yet taking her nowhere.

"Your friends are here, as expected." My stomach dropped. I could feel my heart in my throat, instantly choking any sassy retorts I had left for her. I felt a few lone tears sliding down my bruised cheeks, burning my split lip and washing down the bit of blood and grime that was smeared all over my face. I was okay with dying for my cause, but I was not okay with everyone I loved going down with me.

"Please don't hurt them. Please. Just kill me, but don't hurt them." I pleaded. I knew being Strigoi meant having no soul or humanity, but it was all I had left. My physical state left me powerless, and now even my spirit was broken. Freya had won.

"Oh Rosemarie, I don't want to kill you. I want you to join my army! I mean by now your little rescue squad is probably sucked dry, so what else do you really have to live for? Of course, I can probably spare one or two of your little friends if you give me information on Vasilissa now. It's your choice Rose." I squeezed my eyes shut, weighing my options. She was going to turn my anyways, so why not take the option that might give my friends any chance of living? I had no idea how many Strigoi were out there, and I had a feeling my rescue squad wasn't Hans-approved with extra back up. I was logically out of options, but something in my gut didn't sit well with the decision.

Dimitri popped into my head, and the way he always teased me about my Rose-logic. That was it. Rose-logic was never logical, so why pick the logical choice now? It always worked out before, right?

"Burn in hell, firecrotch." I hissed. Freya sighed, composed as ever and gave me a long, hard look, holding my gaze that I met with a ferocious glare.

"Then we'll do this the hard way," she murmured as she sunk her fangs into my neck. I felt my head tilt back as the rush hit me, scattering my thoughts. I distantly heard a crash, but I didn't register that it was the door bursting open until I felt Freya being ripped off me. My vision swam as I realized how long she'd been drinking from me. I dizzily tried to pick me head up but it was too much effort, I had lost a lot of blood and was severely weakened.

I felt a pair of large, warm hands grasp my shoulders and a velvety voice speaking gibberish, like we were underwater. I felt the strong hands lift me out of the chair and start to carry me out of the room, speaking again in that velvety voice. I leaned into the warmth, sniffing in a familiar scent I couldn't quite place, but made me feel safe. Feeling that I was out of the room, I cracked open my eyes to see blinding sunlight and a bright blue sky, but it was quickly replaced by a greyness that slowly faded to black as I felt myself slip into unconsciousness.

DPOV

I had caught Freya vulnerable, and for that I was lucky. My heart twisted as I saw the zip ties that held her to the chair, reminding me of Spokane. I cut them with my stake and took in the sight of Rose. It was the worse I'd ever seen her, or anyone. I was dismayed with the words cut into her skin. _Weak. Bloodwhore. Traitor. _They were all lies. Every single letter dripped with deceit, but I knew they would scar, a haunting reminder for Rose to look at every single day. It was sick and my stomach churned thinking of it. I scooped her up out of the chair and ran into the hallway, not even stopping to help Mikhail with an injured Alberta. Rose was in far worse condition and I needed to get her to Lissa as quickly as possible.

"Come on Rose, stay with me. Keep your eyes open, Roza. Come on now," I whispered, pressing my lips into the top of her head. Her breathing was shallow and weak, and her eyes weren't opening. If I couldn't keep her conscious there was a greater chance she wouldn't ever wake up, and I couldn't handle that. We had been through too much for it to end like this. I finally made it to the car, meeting everyone's horrified eyes. I noticed one of Abe's guardians was missing, and Mikhail and Alberta were right behind me, Mikhail supporting her weight due to her injured leg. The only other injuries I noticed was a nasty cut on Christian's arm and Denis seemed to be leaning heavily on Lev, but all anyone cared about was Rose.

"Lissa! I need you to heal Rose right now." I ordered, laying Rose down flat in the trunk of Abe's SUV. Everyone crowded around Lissa and Rose to watch the process. Lissa was nearly hysterical, staring at Rose's mauled body. "Lissa! Heal her!" I needed her to focus. Rose would be gone in a matter of minutes if she didn't get help, I could already see her started to drift into unconsciousness, her head lolling to the side.

"Lissa. Look at me," Adrian commanded. Lissa glanced up from Rose and locked eyes with him. "Let me help you. Together we can do this, but we need to heal her now." He voice was gentle but strained. He was as gutted as I was; I knew he loved her.

"I… I can't. It's too much. I.. I'm not strong enough to-" Lissa stammered out, looking from Adrian, to Rose to me helplessly. I cut her off, tears flowing down her face.

"Yes, you can, Lissa. Just try. Rose needs you. A hospital won't be able to help her like this. Just do as much as you can and then we'll take her to urgent care to see if they can heal the rest. Can you do that?" My tone was straining to stay calm, but it was like talking to a child. My patience was slipping, I could feel it, but this was Rose's life! We simply did not have time for Lissa's self-doubt.

Adrian grasped her hands and placed them on Rose's broken leg, beginning to channel his magic to prompt her. I watched as the magic lit up Adrian's face and hit Lissa. The effect was incredible. Immediately, Lissa focused and began to help him. In seconds the bone was straight and mended and they moved on to the rest of her body. However, they tired quickly. Rose hadn't stirred and her body was still wrecked when Lissa fainted. Adrian's face was covered in sweat and he looked ready to follow.

"I'm sorry we couldn't do more," He croaked. I nodded, grateful. Rose was healed enough to be moved to make it to a hospital, and that was enough hope for me.

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	25. Blackout

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**Blackout**

DPOV

She had been in a coma for 4 days. It was the most frustrating thing to watch. Her bruises were almost faded, her ribs reset and mended, her cuts had scabbed but she wouldn't wake up. At first it was an induced coma to stabilize her, but that was only for a day. After that, she just stayed asleep. The doctors told us that the longer she is comatose, the less likely it is that she'll ever wake up, and that she suffered some severe head trauma, that by some "miracle" (that we call dhampir genes) didn't kill her. However, this head trauma may have caused severe brain damage, and that if Rose wakes up, she may be a completely different person and may not remember anything.

It was torture sitting there, waiting for my love to wake up and find out if she even remembered me. I knew it was selfish, and that I should be grateful she's alive, but I wouldn't be able to bear it if she didn't remember me. It was terrifying. Yet there was an even more selfish part of myself that wished she'd forget only the past few years, ever since I broke her heart in the church at Court. I knew it was too good to be true, but the possibility of redemption solaced me during those long hours spent at her bedside.

RPOV

It was so dark. I had no idea where I was. All I knew was that the velvety voice with the strong hands and familiar scent had taken me somewhere safe. I still couldn't place who it was, but decided it must be a stranger. I tried to think of anything before the strong hands had grasped my shoulders, but as soon as I conjured the memory, it would float away, leaving me to grapple my way through the darkness, unaware of time or my surroundings. It was endlessly boring but oddly peaceful, compared to the anxiety I faintly remembered from before the velvety voice came and took me away.

The silence was deafening. I strained to hear something. _Beep. Beep. Beep. _I had no idea what it could be, but it was irritating and I regretted the effort it took to listen for it, preferring my quiet. There was something else though, every once and a while amid the incessant beeping. It was the velvety voice. Just like before, it was too far away to make out what the person was saying, but it was comforting to listen to. It was a man's voice, deep and baritone with what I believed was a slight Russian accent, but the words were scrambled. As I listened though, they became clearer. After what felt like forever, I could finally make out a word. _Roza. _

Was that my name? I liked the sound of it. I couldn't remember my name. I was convinced that the darkness had invaded my brain and stolen all my memories because every time I tried to remember something the darkness whisked it away, leaving me once again with nothing.

The velvet voice felt closer and I could make out full sentences. _Come back to me, Roza. I need you. _I sincerely hoped I was Roza, even though I was sure this was all a figment of my imagination. I wanted to melt in the voice and it's gloriously husky tone. I could hear the stupid beeping accelerate and groaned.

"Will someone shut that stupid beeping up?" I yelled into the darkness, but this time, the darkness didn't swallow the noise like it used to, I could hear the words out loud, in a raspy voice. I pushed against the darkness, the blackness turning to grey which gave way to colors as I felt my eyes open and I became aware of a man staring wide eyed at me with tears in my eyes, holding my hand.

"Roza?" He whispered. It was the owner of the velvety voice, and boy was he beautiful. It finally registered in my brain that I was indeed Roza.

"Who are you?" I've never seen someone's face so devastated in my life. I grimaced. The guy looked like his puppy just died.

"You don't remember me." It was more of a statement than a question. "Can I ask what you do remember?" With the darkness no longer swallowing everything I thought I paused and tried to remember. I remembered Lissa, and Andre, and Mr. and Mrs. Dragomir who were basically my adoptive family. Then there was my mom, Janine. I remembered being at St. Vlad's, but the connection to how I'd gotten from St. Vlad's to a hospital bed was very fuzzy.

"Can you tell me your full name?" He asked, tears threatening to spill.

"Rosemarie Hathaway, daughter of Guardian Janine Hathaway. My best friend is Vasilissa Dragomir. I go to St. Vladimir's Academy." I stated with confidence.

"What's the date?" I furrowed my brow. The last date I remembered was being written on my paper in Stan's class. I guessed if I added two days I'd be close?

"It's December 10th, 2007?" His head fell and he removed his hand from mine before leaning back. I could tell my answer upset him deeply but I was so confused as to why.

"What's wrong? Is that not the date?" The man shook his head and sighed, a rueful look in his deep brown eyes.

"No, Roza. It's November 27, 2013. You suffered severe head trauma that has resulted in amnesia, which is why you don't remember me. You just woke up from a coma that you were in for four days." His voice was gruff and raw with emotion.

"Oh." It was all I could manage. I was completely numb. I couldn't remember six years of my life. I looked down at my hands, unsure if I should allow myself to cry in front of this man. For all I knew he was just another Guardian, but would a Guardian show this much emotion? I let a tear escape, then another, and before I knew it my body was wracked with horribly painful sobs, and this man, of whom I still didn't know the name, was holding me.

"Oh, Roza, my poor Roza. I'm so sorry. I didn't protect you like I promised. I let them hurt you and I'm so, so sorry." He had begun to cry, which somehow stifled my tears and began to make me feel very uncomfortable. I had no idea who this man was or what he was talking about and it felt awkward. He immediately noticed my discomfort and released me. I curled up my legs under me and watched him wipe at his eyes.

"Excuse me, I momentarily forgot. My name is Dimitri Belikov. I was your mentor during your last year at the Academy." His voice was strained and I could tell he was hiding something. No guardian mentor would be so upset about a student, would they?

DPOV

"Is that it?" She asked. I paused. I had a very dangerous choice to make, with three paths to take. I could tell her everything, heartbreak and all. I could tell her about our relationship and leave out the details. Or, I could save her the heartbreak and confusion and leave out the romantic side of our relationship. The selfish part of me wanted to take the second choice, but I knew it was wrong. I couldn't do that to her, but did I really want her to know everything, or even worse, completely forget me?

"I'm going to go find your family. They told me to call them the second you woke up." She gave me a curious look but accepted the fact that I wasn't going to tell her everything.

RPOV

I listened to the machines that kept me alive. The drip of my IV, the beeping of my heart monitor, and the whoosh of some pump that was connected to the little tubes in my nose that helped me take in oxygen because apparently one of my lungs had collapsed or something along those lines. I didn't really pay attention to the nurse when she rattled off the laundry list of injuries that required a laundry list of procedures, casts, machines, medications, and a miracle from God to fix. I wasn't interested in why I was stuck in a bed in a little white room; I was interested in how I could convince the doctors to let me out of this stupid hospital so I could get back to protecting Lissa, the only thing I was any good at.

"ROSE!" I felt a smile creep on my face as a saw a mop of platinum blonde hair come dashing across my tiny little window and into my room. Lissa was here, and that's all I needed. Following her was a moody looking guy around my age with jet-black hair and piercing blue eyes, wearing a smirk and looking beyond irritating. I noticed the bandaging that could be seen under his black t-shirt and briefly wondered how he had been injured, but dismissed it when I noticed the rest of the welcoming committee enter the room. Behind him was, to my utter surprise, my dearest mother, Guardian Janine Hathaway and a Moroi man with dark brown hair, wearing an expensive looking charcoal suit and a shockingly bright turquoise scarf. I paused to reexamine him as I noticed his proximity to my mother. He had a single gold hoop in his left ear, completing his mob-boss look.

"Lissa! You're here!" I beamed, choosing to ignore my mother and the two strangers that crowded my room. Lissa sat in the chair that Dimitri had vacated and grasped my hand.

"I would give you a hug but the nurse said it wasn't allowed. I can't believe you're alive. Adrian and I tried to heal you but we could only do so much. Adrian passed out after we healed you and hit his head on the pavement when we were moving you into the back seat of Abe's car, so he's in the other room with a nasty concussion, but he'll be just fine. He's been more worried about you, we all have. Dimitri never even left your bedside he was so worried. How are you feeling?" I was starting to feel very overwhelmed. Who was Adrian and Abe? How did they heal me? Why did Dimitri not leave my bedside if I was just his student at St. Vlad's?

Lissa noticed my bewildered stare and froze. "Oh. You don't remember, do you? Oh, Rose. Dimitri didn't mention the amnesia. I'm so sorry; you must be so lost. What's the last thing you remember?" Her voice cracked and her eyes watered, grasping my hand tighter.

"I've lost six years. I don't remember a thing. The last thing I remember is sitting in Stan's class back at St. Vlad's, then there's just blackness. I faintly remember someone speaking and a pair of warm hands lifting me up but that's all I have from that period." I removed my hand from Lissa's and began picking at my cuticles. It was better than looking at the disappointed faces that faced me around the room. The man with the turquoise scarf turned and left, but I didn't look up to see his face. I had no idea what I meant to that man. I shut my eyes tight, trying to remember him, trying to place why he seemed familiar, but it was like shooting darts blind folded. I didn't even know where to aim.

"Who was that man?" I whispered to Lissa, my voice timid and shaking. Lissa looked at Janine who had begun to cry. I had never seen my mother cry; it was absolutely terrifying.

"That was your father, Abe Mazur. You met him when you ran off to Russia a few years ago, and you found out he was your father a few months after that. We didn't tell you because his line of work is very risky and I didn't want to put you in danger. I'm so sorry, Rose," Janine's voice was rough and raw with emotion, the most I'd ever seen her show.

I couldn't tell which was more upsetting: the fact that Janine had kept me from my father, or the fact that I had met my father, and didn't remember it. Both were equally infuriating. I could hear my heartbeat accelerate on the monitor, increasing with my rage.

"How could you keep this from me? I thought my father was dead, or left us, or both! You only told me because I ran into him in Russia? How could you? I can't believe you. No, actually I can. I mean what should I have expected from you? You're the mother of the year. You abandoned me at the Academy, barely ever visited or called, and you didn't even tell me about my father. What business could be so risky that I couldn't know him? Or even know of him?." Tears rolled down my cheeks as years of disappointment and bitter anger welled up inside of me, spilling out and filling up my tiny hospital room. I felt so crowded with all the nasty emotions swirling around me. "Just get out. All of you get out now." The claustrophobia failed to ease as I watched their backs walking down the hallway and around the corner, taking them out of sight.

All the shocks of the day had worn me down and I felt emotionally drained. I tried to adjust myself to a more comfortable position, but a sharp pain in my ribs reminded me of my condition. It was like the universe had it out for me. I reached with my good hand and grabbed the pillow off the chair next to my bed, wincing as the scabs and lacerations were stretched with the effort. Every single emotion released out of me as I screamed into the pillow. My machines struggled to keep up with the energy needed to scream, but I didn't care. The pain in my chest and the lightheadedness from lack of oxygen were nothing compared to the pain I felt inside. I had lost the most precious years of my life, and I wasn't sure if I had it in me to piece them back together.


	26. Author's Note

Dear Readers,

As an author, I promised myself I'd never do one of these, but I received such a strong reaction from my readers that I felt it necessary to address a lot of complaints, hate, and criticisms I have gotten from the past few chapters.

To begin, I'm fully aware that when you post anything on the Internet, you're opening yourself up to people have both good and bad opinions on it. I've accepted that and understand that not everyone will enjoy or appreciate my writing as much as others. With this being said, I'd like to explain to you my thought process and reaction to some of the anonymous reviews I've been receiving.

My first order of business is to address why I've labeled this as a Dimitri x Rose story. I didn't realize when I first created _Someone Like You_ that you were only "allowed" to label it this way if the plot line was just rainbows, smiles, and perfect lovey-dovey romance. I've received numerous comments about how this wasn't a Dimitri/Rose story and that I was falsely advertising my story by labeling it so. I would just like to point out one very obvious thing that we should all have learned from reading VA: love is **messy.** I'm not trying to write The Notebook Part II. I'm trying to write as realistically as you can get with vampires involved. I've been criticized about how it's taking too long to get to the "happily ever after". To this, I apologize that my story isn't a load of Disney-tainted sugar coated bull crap. I love a good romantic tale like any other girl, but I also don't believe in love being easy, or every one having their soul mates. I believe you can love more than one person, even if it isn't equally, which is why Naomi and Dimitri made sense in my mind. I don't want to write about a perfect, happy couple, because that's so incredibly boring. There is no point in the original VA that Dimitri and Rose weren't constantly fighting for their relationship, which is why we love it so much, so why am I criticized when I take a page out of Richelle's book? (See what I did there? )

Second, I want to address Rose's case of amnesia. I got some comments about how unrealistic it is, how it's not scientific enough, etc. I actually did some extensive research on comas and the effects of head trauma on the brain and it's actually very likely that someone who endured the injuries Rose did to slip into a coma and wake up with amnesia issues. The amount of head trauma she endured could have easily caused brain damage to the area of the brain that stores memories. A lot of times, comatose patients wake up forgetting how to walk, eat, talk, go to the bathroom, etc. Also, I'd like to point out that this is a scientific fiction book that this is based off of and the fact that you're nit-picking medical facts when you're not even correct is just a tad bit frustrating. Have an imagination, people.

Lastly, I'd like to discuss the length of my fanfiction. I've received quite a few comments that I need to end the story soon, and that I've been stringing it along for too long. If you really feel that way, then why are you still reading? I know Rose's amnesia was quite the plot twist, but I have a plan and I know where I want to go with this story. Have a little faith, people. I'm at 25 chapters, and in my opinion, still going strong. I enjoy writing _Someone Like You_ and plan to make it to at least 30 chapters, whether you skeptics like it or not. ;)

I'd like to close with a little reminder for all of my reviewers to be respectful. I've been receiving a lot of anonymous reviews that are seemingly by the same person, that are either confusing or hateful. I'd like to remind you that every review is read and taken to heart. Hiding behind an anonymous review name and writing non-constructive and hateful reviews is not only unnecessary, it's cruel. Reading some of the poorly written, hate-filled reviews makes me lose all motivation to write. I encourage all of you to review under your account name so that I can discuss your criticisms in a respectful manner over private messaging. A lot of times I have explanations for the things I write, and other times it honestly helps me improve my writing. I want to be the best writer I can be, so help me by making all your criticisms constructive.

I apologize once again for wasting an entire chapter on this author's note, but I felt it was necessary given the circumstances. I love writing, and I love hearing what this community of authors has to say, but when it becomes hateful and unconstructive, I draw the line. I hope none of you are offended by what I've said and continue to read and respectively review. Thank you for taking the time to read this and I hope to update very soon.

xoxo,

Katy Clay


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